Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship?

[T0xic]

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Does your partner continuously degrade or belittle you?

[T0xic]

# Using economic power to control you

# Threatening to leave

# Making you afraid by using looks, gestures or actions

# Smashing things

# Controlling you through minimizing, denying and blaming

# Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously

# Continually criticizing you, calling you names, shouting at you

# Emotionally degrading you in private, but acting charming in public

# Humiliating you in private or public

# Withholding approval, appreciation or affection as punishment

[T0xic]

The Abuser

* Have you thought about how your actions truly affect your partner? Even when you stop the abuse, the pain continues because you've trampled on your loved one's heart and spirit.

* Dr. Phil defines an abuser as both a coward and a bully. You choose to abuse where it is safe, in a place where you feel loved and protected. Would you do it in the workplace where you might get fired or in a social situation where others might get insulted?

* You need to understand that respect is commanded, not demanded. If you think degrading and belittling your partner commands respect, you're wrong. You are simply demanding by imposing fear.

* All abusers have excuses, says Dr. Phil. While the excuses vary, one principle remains: You are abusing instead of being constructive.

* If you want to recover — for yourself and your partner — you need to tell yourself: "I'm not going to take this from me anymore." Sit down with your partner, look into his/her eyes, and apologize for the wounds you've inflicted over time.

* Healing is a process. Rescuing your relationship will take patience and persistence.

The Victim

* Take responsibility. You have played a role in setting up the relationship this way, and you must play a role in changing it. Telling your partner that the treatment is unacceptable is not enough. Your actions speak louder than words, so you need to make two bold moves: Change your own routine or behavior, and tell your partner you will no longer take the abuse.

* Dr. Phil refers to a saying: "There are no victims, only volunteers." Don't go along to get along. Peace at any price is no peace at all.

* Relationships are always up for renegotiation. You need to sit down with your partner, look him/her in the eyes, and tell him/her that you are taking a stand. You will not stay in the relationship if the abuse continues. From there, begin to negotiate. Figure out how both of you can take strides to make the marriage work.

* Watch yourself to make sure you don't fall back into the victim role.

[tallthel]

no comment......................

[the Messenger]

Very insightful post, Toxic.

[gdy327]

experience ni nimo sis

[jenny223]

huhuhu.....ngan0ng ing0n ani man?....

[vashtinone]

ingon ani man jd ng kinabuhi sa tao..

[gdy327]

di ta ka ingon nga in.ani uie... dapt buhaton nato tanan pra di ni ma happen...

[vashtinone]

well kung dli man gani ka maka prevent at least you'll find ways to minimize it..