Loving an abusive partner

[laagan_si_organizer]

If you love someone head over heels, but who is physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive...

how would you deal with it and how would you let it go?!

guys, i know this is a bit sensitive, so let's just minimize OTs and such. anyway, it's all about sharing your opinions and thoughts. Again, let's minimize OTs here, as well as with other threads. Thanks.

[mariox]

oftentimes, we misinterpret/use the word abuse (esp if the term is used on girls).

my ex used to scrape off my skin(the scars still show) bec ako gipaad2 ako mga brods sa hauz. the thought na wa ko misuroy enuf na unta para d siya magselos ug masuko.. she kept on beating me, and kept on using abusive words like "boang", "bogo"..
1day napuno nako, i slapped her hard... down to the ground...
the branded abusive one >>>> me ! ! !

i have this feeling na ang "abused" word para lang sa girls...

my advice: let it go mintras d pa minyo..

[pinkpanther_cj]

actually i can relate to this topic since i'm involved with someone whoe doesn't physically abuse me but hurts me verbally. faet kaayo makauyab ug in.ani coz no matter how much you try to ask him to change his ways, (and he says naman he will) the reality is he will never, ever! change. gaagwanta lang ko coz you know na, love kunuhay.. and i'm hoping and waiting na someday he will learn to treat me with more respect, even if he's on the verge of exploding because og anger hehehe bitaw, sometimes ( dili lang jud sometimes ) i want to end it na 'coz i'm thinking, i don't deserve to be treated this way! but when i calm down and he gets to cool off, it gets better naman between us, feels like nothing happened. ana nalang jud, tiison nalang, anyways after that ok naman pud.. though there are times when i'm torn between accepting him for who is, or leaving him for what he is?! andar lagi dayon ang pagka martir..

[Soul_Captive]

oftentimes, we misinterpret/use the word abuse (esp if the term is used on girls).

my ex used to scrape off my skin(the scars still show) bec ako gipaad2 ako mga brods sa hauz. the thought na wa ko misuroy enuf na unta para d siya magselos ug masuko.. she kept on beating me, and kept on using abusive words like "boang", "bogo"..
1day napuno nako, i slapped her hard... down to the ground...
the branded abusive one >>>> me ! ! !

i have this feeling na ang words para lang sa girls...

my advice: let it go mintras d pa minyo..

..was she beating you physically or is this in terms of how she uses the abusive words you mentioned? it is just so unusual to see girls physically abusing their man..unless, they are like me..not that i am abusive, but i can be rather physical..hehehehe..manumbag man ko..lol

nwei, abuse can come in different forms..but one thing it connotes is that the person does not really respect and love you..so there is no reason to even work on the relationship..and once is always enough in this situation especially for physical abuse..if the person can do it once, he can do it over and over again..get out before it becomes a cycle and you end up too entangled inside it..more likely, the person who abuses tends to make the abused partner feel that it is actually their fault that they are being abused, that they are somehow worthy of the abuse, which is TOTALLY wrong..

[mariox]

@soul:

scraped off my skin bro... langkat ako panit ig kambras niya... naa sa ako arms and back..

there was a time na mi visit ako mga friends sa hauz.. d siya ganahan so she stayed in our room... pag sud nako sa room, nagkatag na ang tanan: shirts on the floor, murag bag-ong gicarpet... then boto2x ang kwarto...
ang akong friends naa sa gawas, sigeg panuktok... abi nilag akong siya gikulata kay grabe gud kasaba.. pag abli ako diay gikulata..
grabe ako kauwaw ato... tungod ana stupid love..

[pinkpanther_cj]

kaluoy pud nimo mariox oi! isuga pud sa imo gf, maygani dili ka mubalos ug sumbag.. hehehe

[laagan_si_organizer]

kaluoy pud nimo mariox oi! isuga pud sa imo gf, maygani dili ka mubalos ug sumbag.. hehehe

OT: @pinkpanther, hinayhinay lang ta sa atong OT ha? para di ta makasab-an. thanks.
@mariox, girl na si soul_captive

it's actually unhealthy to have this kind of relationship, so if u know that it's abusing u, u should know when to stop, despite the love you feel for the person. it would just break you so hard in the end.

[Soul_Captive]

OT: @pinkpanther, hinayhinay lang ta sa atong OT ha? para di ta makasab-an. thanks.
@mariox, girl na si soul_captive

it's actually unhealthy to have this kind of relationship, so if u know that it's abusing u, u should know when to stop, despite the love you feel for the person. it would just break you so hard in the end.

OT: naalaan jd kong lake..paet!

anyway, it's really up to the person..sometimes man gud, we are so blinded with the feelings we have for the person, that we cannot keep ourselves from hoping for things to change..one good thing though is that there will always come a time when we realize that enough is just enough..
personally, i am just soooo against abusive (especially physical) relationships..i have seen this in its worst case with a very close aunt..she has been in it for so long, and i hope she will be able to come out of it already..

[diem]

People who are attached to abusive partners may have self-esteem issues. These people loathe or dislike themselves personally and allow themselves to have abusive partners as an external form of punishment.

Other times, many would not expect to land themselves in a relationship where there is abuse because their partners would seem caring and loving at first. Then external factors can come, changing their partners' behaviors for bad then to worse. Using unconditional love as a pre-existing condition, these victims allow themselves to suffer abuse.

These people could also have been 'prepared' by previous relationships where abuse was the norm, most likely in the family environment where a parent or a relative would sometimes justify the need for abuse.

No matter the cause or the reason for such things, the effect is overall the same: the reduction of a human life by negative reinforcement. The people who remain attached to their partners despite the abuse are to be pitied but more than that, they need to be helped or maybe be helped to realize that their situation is happening because they allowed it. It could be said that they're volunteers as well as victims.

How can these people be helped or better yet, help themselves? They have to really KNOW themselves, FIND what's deep inside themselves that's GOOD and TRUE, then hold on to that strongly then they'll be able to see and hear reflections in other people who want to help them or guide them out of that abusive relationship because nobody deserves to be hurt by another just for satisfaction. The reason we have laws and a justice system is to ensure EVERYONE can have the chance to a good life without intruding on others' rights to a good life.

Nearly all victims of abuse are WOMEN. There are local organizations that can offer aid to girls and women who suffer abuse at home and even in the work place. Here are some with their contact information:

Asilo dela Milagrosa, Inc.
Gerardo Avenue, Lahug
6000 Cebu City
(032) 75458

DSWD Women’s Help Desk
M.J. Cuenco Ave., cor. Gen. Maxilom Ave.
Labangon, Cebu City
(032) 935-64;74577; (fax) 312-172

LIHOK PILIPINA FOUNDATION, INC.
102 P. Del Rosario Ext., Cebu City 6000 Philippines
Tel ( 032 ) - 256 - 1341 / 254 - 8092
Fax ( 032 ) - 254 - 8072
E - mail : lihok@mozcom.com

[Baeybe_Bryce]

ok lang...gusto ko rin minsan sinasaktan niya...can't avoid dat..but i love that feeling hehehe...
it's ok for me...kaya ko naman pero wag lang ung grbeh ne...my gf used to bite my shoulder or sinasabunutan ako...hindi ko gusto nung once nsampal niya ako...she regretted it anywei,,