What to do about a daughter who has been doing NOTHING since graduating from college?

[j-RoLD]

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Kung ako ana, kung dili mada ug santong dasalan, ipa-agi nako sa santong paspasan—putla inyong internet.

[gleestar]

naa pa man gud sya manghod nga need internet so we can not be without internet connection. besides, dili na ko maka post diri ana.

ang ako bohaton noh i wud send her a link to this thread sa iyang email or maybe tel her friend to go to istorya.net and find this thread.. ana lang para mabasa ni nya asa cya sayop

[ilovedogs]

bacn naa gyud na xa gidala2x nga problema uy. murag naa na xa issues, bacn mas maau if ang imong wife makigstorya niya. lisud bya iopen up sa papa usahay labi na kng babae. or kng naa mn gani mas adult pa niya nga suod niya sa inyo, maoy paistoryaha niya kng unsa iyang gusto.

ayw lang ipressure kaau, bsan kita bya dili ta gnahan ipressure. bacn masamutan lng na xa kng unsa mn gani na iyang problema bacn kng ipressure ninyo mas musamot iyang problema. pro dapat naa na gyud mutambag niya (dili mukasaba) nga krn palang kay bacn ug mag-3yrs na, bacn lisud na hinuon kaau.

wla pud xa suod nga friends? kng pwd istoryahe iyang mga friends bacn naa silay maoffer nga info sa inyo nga makatabang pra makasabot mo kng unsa jd nang giagian sa inyong anak krn.

[battouter]

stop enabling her. time for tough love.

[yvonne6]

leave this thread on. make sure siya ang mag sunod ug gamit. if it doesnt work after that, ipaputol ang internet. naa siyay bf? check sad kuno, basig naay depression imong anak? usa nga indication ana kana rabang walay energy, sige lang ug katulog, walay motivation. i hope there is nothing really deep than just being tapulan

[unique]

yes, we tried to send her for errands like paying bills but she refused kay samokan sa daghan tawo, labi na kana taas kaayo ug linya.

dictating her? NO, i am not even talking to her anymore.

sorry sis or bro, but that wont get you anywhere, as you said also, you weren't there in her formative years, then the more you need time to be with her to make up for the lost years. not talking to her will only put her away from you.

befriend her, step down on your age and level down with her, do something crazy, be a HAPPY magnet attracting her likes/hobby, as you said she likes cats...buy her one and let her be responsible for the cat. dont stop trying but in a way not annoying her. most of all laugh with her together, just be plain open and STOP being NEGATIVE for yourself coz she knows who you are (she is more prone by your avatar than yourself). continue to communicate with her like normal daily life, have patience with her (love her more than wat you feel these days) one day she will open up and make sure you are there when she needs someone or better yet YOU.

[asterisk]

magtagay mong duha.... I'm not kidding. I'm not sure if you drink. But I think your daughter is depressed. She needs to let all her depression out. As you've mentioned, you're not talking to her anymore which is wrong. I think pressured siya and the more you talk to her about getting a job the more you push her away. Laag kuno mo.mag night out. let her talk to boys. Does she have cousins her age? let her go with her cousins. Let her know that life is not about looking for a job achieving good grades. It's about having a life! It's about enjoying life and not caring about what everybody says. locking herself up in her room and sleeping all day...she's missing all the fun. I think you both need to bond. and that maybe she should stop confiding her problems to her pillow and keeping things by herself. Let your daughter let loose. Show her that you're crazy too and that life is about taking risk. My parents sent me to Manila and I lived alone for six months. From that I have learned how it is when you're parents are away. When you get sick no one takes care of you. I've learned to be independent. I wash my own clothes cooked my own food. that was when I realized how much I've appreciated my parents. Why don't you try sending her to live with other relatives like a vacation or something....

[hayden]

TS haven't you thought about it nga ikaw ra mismo ang cause why in-ana ka irresponsible imo anak? I mean come on basin kadtong bata pana grabeh pagka-spoil nga ni-abot ang point of thinking niya nga ok ra ang life ky naa si mama.

On the good side atleast wla nag-drugs or nabuntis for no apparent reason.


Serious question ni: Chix na imong anak or tambok?

[nijazared]

TS, if you give up then there's no need for us to give suggestions...somehow, I've read from page 1 and your frustration and negativity really stands out. Now is the time for you to erase all that and gather the strength to help your daughter through this stage.
All the people who succeed will tell you that they never stopped trying, even though now they have succeeded they have still kept on trying.
So do not give up hope, be strong and keep on trying....eventually, you'll get to her...

[sui.caedere]

TS haven't you thought about it nga ikaw ra mismo ang cause why in-ana ka irresponsible imo anak? I mean come on basin kadtong bata pana grabeh pagka-spoil nga ni-abot ang point of thinking niya nga ok ra ang life ky naa si mama.

On the good side atleast wla nag-drugs or nabuntis for no apparent reason.


Serious question ni: Chix na imong anak or tambok?

let me answer your serious question this way:

one tym nisakay sya ug taxi from ayala. the taxi driver paused for a moment, and asked her if she was shaina magdayao