bisaya text jokes,quotes..post lang!

[digitalartistbem]

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WRONG SPELLING

(Sa sementeryo usa ka gabii..)

Guard: Sus! Maryusep! Abi nako’g kalag ka. Unsa imong gi-tiltil sa lapida?

Nagtiltil: Ang amaw! Wrong spelling akong pangan.

[digitalartistbem]

BISAYA ANG MATH

In Bisaya: Kwatrokantos ugat sa ekis sa gahom sa dos kay ekis..

In English: Square root of x to the power of 2 is x..

Unya? Makapasar kaha ka kung bisaya ang math?

[digitalartistbem]

RELO

Titser: Julius! Late na pud ka?

Julius: Alangan ma’am, late man gud ni akong relo.

Titser: Mao ba? I-advance nah!

Julius: Sige..

Titser: O! Asa naman ka?

Juan: Ako nang gi-advance ma’am. Uli na ko kay time na!

[digitalartistbem]

SCORE

Teacher: OK class, only Pedro got 98/100.

Pedro: Dah! Kabuhat mo ana? Panguli mo’s inyong bukid oi. Pagtanom mo og kamote! Kaon mo og dukot! Mga bugo!

Teacher: ..the rest got 100..

[aljy]

Inday meets her match.

AMO: inday, pahawaa ra gud nang makililimos naa sa gawas sa balay.
(nigawas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
Makililimos: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ug katapat si Inday!)

NOSEBLEED!!! .hehehe

[digitalartistbem]

GRADUATION DAY SPEECH

Tonight I am graduation. I invitation you all to eat our house because I know someday that I will eat your house too! I will die 5 chickens — 3 girls & 2 boys — to eat you all & I will ask my father 2 cook my mother. But I’m sorry to inform you that my rice is corn.

Thank you!






Nyahahaha....bisag ako, rolling on the floor laughing

[aljy]

THE GUN.

Is a very important solution to a problem, right?
Especially when a dog gokorize you,
The Gun is really important, kung mopaghot na ang iro,
The Gun na lang jud, The Gun kusog.

[digitalartistbem]

QUOTE FOR STUDENTS

“I’d rather open my Facebook than to FACE my BOOK”

[aljy]

TEACHER: Class, use DERMATOLOGIST in a sentence.
JUAN: DEAR MA, TOLO DIYES na karon ang itlog sa manok, upat diyes kung gagmay.
:
TEACHER: Juan…get out!!!!!!!!!

[aljy]

Techer:.Maria..unsa man imong gs2 pag dako nimo??!!
Maria:.,.,mahimong Doktor mam,para mkatabang sa KAPWA!.
Techer:.kaw pedro?...
Pedro:.,.Mahimong dato mam..para mkatabang sa KAPWA!.
Techer:.,.Kaw tomas?
Tomas:.,mahimong KAPWA mam,.,!!