How to Make Her Fall in Love with You

[cuteCandy]

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make her laugh.. without even trying... then you're a keeper

[tinayko]

dili mag pakitang gilas... nga pina OA...
QUIET guy is sooooo interesting.. too much to know about..

[cptn_star]

trying hard to win a girl's attention doesnt sound good too me...i'd rather be myself and stick to that...if ganahan nako ang girl, awh mau, if dili, ok ra sad...

[noigwen]

pasimple lang gud.. no need to impress na oi!! kinaraan man na!! ug ganahan ang gurl, ganahan jud na cya nmo..

[ritchepaul]

Bro, this is a story from a certain author who researched attraction and courtship.


"I'd like to tell you a story...It's a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman. At first, she was just another attractive woman...but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.

But, there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once, she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue.

But, something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself...and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend. Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she would feel the same way.

So, he made a bold move. He TOLD HER how he felt. He confessed that he was in love and that he would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said, "Thank you...I really mean that...but I don't want to mess up our friendship...you're too important to me...."

This only confused the man more. He didn't know how to take it... Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something? Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long term relationship? Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint? Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough? Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore...he had to be with her. He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step like hee bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a long, long letter, texting her sweet love quotes like (you stole my heart...please take care of it), etc.etc...again confessing his feelings.

And then, the unthinkable happened. She didn't reply.

He texted her everyday and called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her. She made an excuse about being very busy and said, "I'll try to give you a call soon or I'll text you back, I have to go"... and hung up...but... he never got a call back.

Over the following months the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened.

THE END










OK, I'm back. Now, wasn't that a sweet story? Heartwarming, huh? I know, I should find a day job, and take up writing romance novels...LOL!

Now, let's talk about that story. That story is basically a MYTH. And I'm not talking about FICTION here.

I'm talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it. And why does this particular story resonate for most men? Because we've all been there in one way or another...at one time or another...and many of us have been there OFTEN in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really FASCINATE me. They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is a solution. And it lies in understanding a secret that women know, but most men don't.

And that secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON'T WORK, they actually make things WORSE. The very things that a man does to try to make a woman LIKE HIM, make her NOT like him.

They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the man feeling them to do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this painful situation in the future...









THE "INSTANT EWWW"
(women's expressions of yuckie, lood, jara, hilas, etc. etc.)

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...So often we think that just because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a motorcycle out in the streets here in Cebu that has accessories on it that cost more than the motorcycle itself? With stereo blasting (yeah, nauso na ni ron), and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the mullti-cylinder engine?

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I don't think that motorcycle is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"..?

Yeah, I have too.

Well here's the deal: If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"...but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it IS going to backfire. It's going to trigger a feeling that I like to call the "Instant Ewww".

The "Instant Ewww" is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

It's over.

It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin. Once a woman feels the "Instant Ewww", she will start behaving differently. In short, she'll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"? I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"...Of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return. So, what causes the "Instant Ewww"? And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice...a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.Up until that point, you were harmless. I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her. She knew it from the beginning. But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...

Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand...

If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE...and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.









In a men's mind, it goes like this:
Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes you

Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.

If she's not into you, then it goes like this:
She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...









THE ANSWER
There are really TWO answers to this problem. The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter...Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer". Don't call her three times a day. And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her way too early.

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, learning ofcourse.

Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type", will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is: Don't get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating attraction from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of attraction triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing from the beginning."

[ritchepaul]

Hala Sis. The guy your dreaming of is just right here on this thread. Igo kaayo si ritchepaul sa imong classifications, hehehehe. Kaso, he's kinda choosy when it comes to women, diba ritche? Huwag mo nang ideny, aminin! Even sa ako snob kaayo sya. Hahahaha!

Chismosa kaayo ka Chi! I'd rather be alone na...bahala na, LOL!

@tinayko
Rebound Sis, hehehehe

[tinayko]

Chismosa kaayo ka Chi! I'd rather be alone na...bahala na, LOL!

@tinayko
Rebound Sis, hehehehe

hahaha.. rebound napod..

[simoncpu]

Bro,

I'd like to tell you a story...It's a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman. At first, she was just another attractive woman...but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.
...

Plagiarism na man na` imo post, @ritchepaul... Ok ra man mag post ug tips, as long as you give the original author credit...

[ritchepaul]

Plagiarism na man na` imo post, @ritchepaul... Ok ra man mag post ug tips, as long as you give the original author credit...

I didn't say it was mine in the first place....it's from an author named david deangelo

Nagdali ko kanina, mao nang copy-paste ra akong gibuhat.

[mr.dj]

O.T. morag naa man ni sa rules nga bawal magpost ug link to another website, didto lang ni sya pwede sa websites and multimedia nga category pwede