Before I share you my story:
I txted my partner to read this thread..
He told me this:
"One of the reasons why I fell for you was your story. Hearing it the first time from you made me realize that I am in-love with a very strong woman. I am with a woman who has gone through a lot and yet, still ready to fall-in-love, and give everything up again... Hearing it the first time from you made me realize that maybe, with all those outcomings, you won't see love in me at all. But you still did! I really thought you'd turn your back on me and say that you are no longer capable of loving because you are so afraid of getting hurt. But you surprised me when you accepted me with open arms and loved me more than you loved him. He may be your first but I am confident that you are mine... now, tomorrow, and forever! Don't hold your post.. Please say every detail as much as you'd want.. The way you told me your story.. I would love to hear it again but this time, by reading it. I would love to read the story that made me who I am today. Who I am as a partner, as a father, and who I will soon be as your husband. Some may think I am weird but don't worry... it won't hurt me, or my ego. You know me more than anyone else..so you should trust me when I say it's ok. Diba musulti man ko nimo ug dili ok if dili jud ko kauyon diba?"
So, here it is... pasting it back...
This is in reference to my other thread titled He Invited me to his Wedding...
https://www.istorya.net/forums/love/6...s-wedding.html
Since naa man mga tao na nag-wonder and nag ask kung ngano nagbuwag mi... Let me share with you Our Story...
I was 3rd year HS and he was in College in the same Institute.. but we never really met at school.
My father appointed his sister to be my guardian when I transferred to that institution. And my father's sister which is my aunt lives in the Baranggay where he lives...
Let's call him M.
I was the type of girl that they could tag as "garbosa". I never interact with neighbors... Well, they try to be friendly at me but I never chatted with them.. When someone calls my name... I don't look back.. When someone says "Hi" at me... I just greet them with a little smile and a nod. They say, "strikta ra kaayo ko" or "arte jud daw ko". But that's just who I was. Maybe because, wala ko kaila nila... or nabag-ohan lang jud ko sa place.
Well that changed because of my gay cousin.. He introduced me to his friends around the neighbor.. And months after that, I started going out with them every night.. Hanging out in a particular store in the baranggay. So, there were times that I go home late coz nagtambay-tambay pa sa gawas. Then, there were numerous times when I was courted by someone that I declined. So, mejo mailap jud ko when it comes to courtship. Dili man sad ko ingon na mailap ko sa boys.. I am not just open to any courtship lang jud.
M and my cousin are friends. Not really close friends but most likely acquaintance. He lives few meters away from my aunt's house. But M is close to my close friend as well since his brother is my close friend's boyfriend. There was one night that I am already in the store where we use to hang-out and nobody else is there aside from M and his bestfriend. Let's call his bestfriend D. So, since I know them by face familiarity, we started chatting with each other. So, mura na siya ug question and answer portion about me.. But I never really minded it since wala man sad ko lingaw. I just didn't notice na 4am na diay, naa japon mi sa gawas nag tambay.. so we have chatted a lot jud..
Months after that, ni try ug court nako si D. iyang bestfriend. And at the same time, M started making his moves.. So I was thinking... maybe, gipustaan ko ani... So, ako silang gikalit ug storya bout sa akong doubts.. And to my surprise, they really didn't know that they courted me at the same time.
Until the day I finally set my decisions. Si M akong gipili... I chose him not because I have to choose between him and his bestfriend. Pero I chose him because of his acts. He was really a "Gentleman". He respected me, he is somewhat strikto pud, pero reasonable. He is not every other girl's dream boy but he is my ideal guy. The way he cared for me was really outstanding.. Lahi jud siya sa other boys na nakita nako or nakaila nako.
Our relationship was perfect. Well, almost! I could say na healthy among relationship coz we fight at times but we never let the day pass without talking it over. Daghan ang nasuya sa among relationship actually, neighbors say that kasal na lang daw kulang namo kay mura jud mi ug mag-asawa. He introduced me to his family since Day 1 and very close ko sa iyang family most specialy sa iyang mama and papa. I have treated them as my 2nd family. Everyone from their heir knows me. From his grandparents from both sides of his mom and dad. And even to the extended family.
Gikuyog pa ko nila sa Bohol. Sa place sa iyang lolo and sa iyang mga cousins. Syempre, kuyog akong brother and ang bestfriend sa akong brother for chaperone and laag2 lang pud sila. Very open ko sa iyang family. While didto mi sa Bohol, I could really remember our conversation.
M: Happy ka?
Me: Yes! Of course!
M: Naka-anhi na ka before?
Me: Nope.. karon pa lang jud!
M: Special kaayo ni nga place nako. Close man gud kaayo mi ni Lolo. Tanan buhaton nako para ni Lolo. Then si Lolo, tigulang na kaayo. Ingon si Lolo na kung mamatay siya, anhi mismo sa balay niya gusto siya magpalubong. Mao na, karon pa lang, very special ni nga place nako. Anhi mi bonding2 sa una ni Lolo atong bata pa pud ko.
Me: Emotional lage ka ron? Naa'y probz?
M: Wala.. Ngano magka problema man ko nga naa man ka.
Me: Char!
M: Bitaw... P__, nisaad biya ko sa akong self and ni Lolo pud na ang babaye na akong dal-on dire sa iyang lugar mao na ang babaye na akong paabuton sa altar.
Me: Noh? When lang ka nisaad? Karon lang?
M: Dili uie! Sa una pa, wala pa ka.
Me: Nanghinayang ka?
M: Na?
Me: Na akong imong nadala dire. Na-promise biya na nimo. Then basin nagbasol ka ngano ako..
M: Shh... happy gani au ko.. ikaw akong nadala dire. Close ka ni Lolo.. nila Mama, Papa.. Tanan sa akong family. Most especially, close ka sa akong heart. Mao na, wa jud ko nagbasol na ikaw akong gidala dire. Coz kahibaw nako na ikaw jud akong madayon... ikaw ra akong pakaslan.
Me: Thank you...
All the sweetness, love, care, trust, and the feeling of security... I really felt it from him for 2 years.
Until my mom and dad get back together. I introduced M to them. Ok na si M sa akong family. Kuyog2 siya everytime naa mi family outing.
Dili nako matawag na dato ang akong family pero naa ju'y kaya. But M's family.. maingon jud nako na nagkalisod sila pero his parents managed to give them good education. Nakatiwas jud ug school iyang eldest bahala nagkalisod. 3 sila ka-manag-igsuon... 2nd siya. Both siya and iyang manghod, naa pa sa college ato na time.
Akong mama, ok ra niya at first.. But pul-anon na taw akong mama. Nagkadugay, gikontraan na niya si M. Mubisita man si M sa amoa. Every weekend. Adto siya magtambay sa amoa. But atong time na gikontraan na siya sa akong mama, wala na siya kaadto. Magkita na lang mi sa gawas. Kuhaon ko niya sa school. Kay college na man sad ko ato na time. Ako ang muadto sa ilaha usahay.
Every enrollment, I always see to it na naa jud ko'y time para niya. Mag set ko ug schedule na naa'y taas na lunch break kay adto ko mag lunch sa ilaha. Until nahibaw-an sa akong mom na ako ang muadto sa balay nila M which is indecent daw. Nahibaw-an sa akong mom kay naa'y silingan sila M nga nisumbong. So, what I did was... imbis adto ko sa usual na dalan muagi, mulipot ko sa luyo.. long-cut to get to their place para lang makaadto gihapon ko.
Pabulagon jud ko sa akong mama ni M but I refused. Away to the max mi sa akong mama. Pero wala jud nako gigive-up si M. Gipangayuan nako akong mama ug 3 good reasons ngano dapat ko makigbuwag.. Pero wala mahatag na rason akong mama. So, we continued our relationship miski tago2..
Until pag debut nako.. My mom told me na kung muadto si M sa akong debut, mu-walk out siya. So I begged her na dili na lang ko mag debut. Dili na lang ko mag party. Bahala wala na lang handa. But my mom insisted for my 18th birthday party. All of my friends and my mom's friends were invited,. But the special person, is never there. I danced with 17 people only para sa akong 18 roses. Nahibulong na lang akong mama nganong sobra ug 1 rose after sa party. Even on my invitations list, 17 ra akong gilista. Coz it never was perfect and complete without him. That party was never fun at all. Everyone enjoyed except for the celebrant. A thought even came in hopong that the day would end. And I just can't wait for tomorrow to see M! To dance my last dance...
Things changed after that.. Months after my debut, December 15. I started having bad dreams. 1st dream was he is introducing me to a girl and he said that she is her new girlfriend. 2nd was I went to their house seeing his new girlfriend. 3rd was his new girlfriend approached me looking for M. 3 straight nights! I was haunted by those dreams. Kana ganing feeling na pagmata nimo.. sakit kaayo imong dughan.. Na mura jud ug tinuod! Maghilak na lang gud ko para pawala sa sakit sa dughan. Pero ako ra isulti sa akong self na damgo ra to!
After the 3rd night na nagdamgo ko, I finally said it's enough! So, atong niadto ko sa ila for lunch, ako ra ug siya ang naa sa silong. His mom and dad were somewhere else. Iyang younger brother, naa sa taas. Before mi nangaon, nagtapad mi watch ug tv. And I still can remember our conversation very well..
Me: Naa ta'y problem?
M: huh? y man naka-ask ka ana? Unsa man problema nimo?
Me: Wala man... lately, bati kaayo akong mga damgo.
M: Like what?
Me: 1st, damgo ko na imo daw gipaila-ila nako imong new girlfriend. 2nd kay nianhi daw ko inyo den naa babaye na naglingkod diha mismo sa sofa den niingon dayon imong mama nga nagkaila na ba mi.. imo daw to uyab. Then gabie.. gidamgo na pud ko na niduol ang babaye nako.. nangita nimo. Pag-ask nako ngano, ingon ra siya na nagsabot daw mo then wala pa ka nitunga. Ask ko kung kinsa siya, ingon siya girlfriend daw nimo.
M: (Long silence...) Kita jud ka sa nawng?
Me: UU.. pero sa akong ma-remember.. lain2 man to ug nawng..
M: (silence...)
Me: Nahilom lage ka?
M: Naa ko'y isulti nimo.. I know masuko ka, pero.. dili nako kaya labanan ang woman's instinct..
Me: Unsa imo pasabot? Woman's instinct to nako?
M: Sort of.. (Silence..) Naa ko lain gf...
Me: (wala ko reaction) Unsa iyang name? Taga asa siya? Diin mo nagkaila? (Those questions came rushing in as well as my tears..) Kauban mo sa school?
He started hugging me... while ako, starting to get so hysterical.. Dili na mapugngan akong paghilak... And all he said was sorry! sorry! sorry! while nagsige siya gakos nako trying to stop me from crying and from being hysterical of course..
Then, I tried to calm myself down.. But still crying...
Me: Please... Please tell me the details..
M: Sorry kaayo.. (He started crying) Wala nako tuyua.. Kauban nako siya sa school. Classmate mi sa PE. Nadala lang jud ko.. Caring siya, sweet siya..
Me: Did I not care for you? Dili na ba ko sweet nimo?
M: You have.. Pero.. sorry, nadala lang jud ko..
Me: Love ba nimo siya?
M: (He just nodded)
Me: (Niduko lang ko while nihilak ug maayo)
M: Sorry.. Sorry... Sorry jud kaayo!
Me: Ako? Love pa ba ko nimo?
M: yes! of course! Love tika.. kahibaw ka kung unsa tika ka-love?
Me: Then ngano imo man ni gibuhat? Lesser na ba imong love nako compared sa akong nahibaw-an sa una?
M: No.. It's just that.. gikapoy na ko.. Gikapoy na ko lait-laiton sa imong mama. Gikapoy na ko magtago2.. Naluoy na ko nimo nagsige ka lusot2 ug asang lutsanan makaanhi lang ka.
Me: Nireklamo ba ko?
M: Wala lage.. pero.. lain kaayo sa feelings uie..
Me: And finding someone new is the only way?
M: I know stupid kaayo ko.. pero, dili sad ko nimo ma-blame.. close kaayo ko sa iyang parents. Dili ko bawalan..
Me: Kanus-a lang nagkakamo?
M: December 15.
Me: Sh*t! That's the first night nga nagdamgo ko about you having a new gf!
M: Sorry...
Me: Laina sad nimo uie.. Unfair kaayo ka.. Asa man ko dapita nagkulang uie?
M: Wala.. wala ka'y sala.. wala ka nagkulang.. ako ang nakasala nimo.. Sorry kaayo..
Me: (I screamed at him) Stop saying sorry! It won't change anything! Batia nimo uie! Ni fight biya ko para nimo.. I know it's not enough coz I can't just runaway from home para lang akoang gusto matuman... para lang magpadayon ta without being scared. Wala pa ko'y work.. ni-wala pa ko katiwas ug school... Ngano wa man lang ka paabot ana na time? I should have fought for you harder than what you see now.. Gi-fight tika sa akong mama.. Wala ba na nimo nakita? Kulang pa ba sa akong makaya? Naninguha ko muanhe dinhe sa inyo para lang mapakita nako nimo na I never gave up on you... Na miski pa harangan na nila ang dalan padung dire, mangita jud ko ug laing dalan makaanhi lang nimo..
M: I know.. and I felt stupid for doing this to you!
Me: Ok! I'll forget this happened.. But please.. biyae siya.. anhi lang ka nako.. bulagi siya.. anhi lang nako pls..
M: (Nilingo2 siya) No, I can't..
Me: (Nihilak na ko ug pag-ayo.. Then niluhod ko atubangan niya.. Gakos dayon ko sa iyang paa) Please! ayaw lang ko biyae.. kalimtan ta ni.. Biyae lang siya.. buwagi siya.. kalimtan ni nako tanan..
M: Wa man gud ka kasabot..
Me: Unsa pa ma'y wa nako nasabtan? Dili na lisod sabton! And dali ra pud ni sulbaron.. biyae lang siya.. anhi nako.. Akoa lang ka pls...
M: (Nilingo2)
Me: Please.. unsa man kailangan nako buhaton? Anhe lang ka nako? Dili na lisod na pamaagi..
M: Love na man gud nako siya..
Me: Ako diay? Dili na diay ko nimo love? Mas love ba nimo siya? Or you just love me less?
M: Sorry.. pero dili na sayon imong gipangayo..
I went very hysterical! Gihapak nako siya sa akong bag.. ako siyang gi-hapak2.. wa na ko kasabot sa akong buhaton ato na time..
M: Sorry jud kaayo..
Was the last words I heared from him... Ni-walk out na ko!
....
taas2 na.. to be continued..
Originally Posted by vahnhelsing
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