He's Gone

[Gwynhuever]

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angelfyre..of course it hurts....di jud na ma lalis....it might take days...weeks...years before you get over it...might even be never....one day at a time lang sis....you have to also remember most of us go through the same experience...ma byudo/byuda...ma biya-an ....but life goes on....and kitang nahabilin must deal with the pain and sadness....missing the one who left....

they even say there is a much worse loss than losing a partner....ingon sila way maka tupong daw sa grief of a parent losing a child....kay normally children outlive the parents man....so for a parent to experience a child's death is the worst.....i would not know....i do not have a child...and i only experienced losing a partner....what i know is that regardless of everything it is still a beautiful life.....stay strong.

[aj-1980_virgo]

sis...so sorry to hear that...condolences.....try not to think about what u have been doing together before....it helps.....go out with close friends more often....

[jugs_06]

can u believe how life can become so unfair.. ur happy today, next thing u know.. u'd be very sad later...


but yeah, move on... that's all you can do..

[winter]

condolence..

[angelfyre]

thanks sa inyong kind words

[Ran Fujiyama]

i know it's hard for you to take such untimely, dreaded event.. just don't rush things, one couldn't just pull him/herself back into circulation at an instant

- feel the pain, but don't intend to keep it forever
- pick up the pieces again, but don't intend at putting it together

just remember, when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us..

[Vishadomini]

I can't even begin to describe what I felt after reading what you've been through Angelfyre... I felt pain in my heart and this pain is not even as much as a drop of water compared to the sea of pain you are going through...

I wish i knew what to tell you. Words won't mean anything to you right now because you are in a state where your mind will not absorb anything.

However, i got this off a site and I hope it would help in any way. I'm really sorry about what happened.

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Grief is a very natural response to the loss of someone or something very important to us. There is no wrong or right way to feel when someone close to you dies.

Most people will go through a range of emotions. The literature written about grief often mentions that people may go through several stages of grief. There are no hard and fast rules to this though. You will go through your own grief in your own way but it can be reassuring to know that others may feel similar things. You may go through some or all of them. And they do not necessarily happen in the order they are written here. The main thing to remember is there is no right way to grieve. The stages include

* Denial and shock
* Anger
* Bargaining
* Guilt
* Depression
* Loneliness
* Acceptance and
* Hope

Denial and shock
At first people may find it very hard to accept or understand the death of a loved one. Because of this they will feel so shocked they deny it is true. This usually passes as they start to talk to others about the death.

Anger
The most common question people ask during this stage is “why me?”. You may think it is so unfair that someone close to you dies. This can make you feel very angry with everything and everyone. Again, this stage will pass, so don’t think that you will always feel like this.

Bargaining
After someone close to you dies you may find yourself thinking things like’ if I give up this part of my life that I enjoy so much, I could bring back the person who died’. This is called bargaining. Although it is unrealistic it is a very natural part of grieving.

Guilt
You may find yourself feeling guilty for not doing certain things with your loved one before they died. Or remembering all the times you felt you did or said the wrong thing to them. Don’t beat yourself up over these things. Your loved one most likely forgave you before they died so forgive yourself.

Depression
Many people may have very strong feelings of sadness for some time after the death of someone close to them. Depression is not sadness. Depression is a much more intense feeling than sadness. It is more debilitating and affects your ability to cope with everyday things such as eating, sleeping, hygiene, social activities and work. You may feel like there is nothing worth living for now your loved one is gone.

If feelings of sadness continue for several weeks and you are finding that you are never feeling good about anything then you may be depressed. It is not a weakness to have depression. But it is important that you seek medical help as soon as you can.

You may have changes in your mood and feelings of isolation. Other common symptoms of depression are loss of interest in seeing friends and family, difficulty getting to sleep or waking in the early hours of the morning, poor appetite, lack of enthusiasm and difficulty concentrating, making decisions and remembering things.

Loneliness
During this stage people can feel very lonely and frightened. You miss having the person near to talk to and share your social life with. It can be very hard but trying to share more of your emotions with others close to you will help lessen these feelings.

Acceptance
This stage does not always mean you will feel happy again. But it does mean you will begin to accept that you need to try to cope with the death of your loved one. Most people who have had someone close to them die say that they never ‘get over it’. They just find a way to cope with it. Accepting things can be quite a relief to many people.

Hope
Everyone reaches this point at different times. But you will eventually be able to think about the person who died and it won’t be as painful. You will start to feel like planning ahead and looking forward to more good times. This doesn’t in any way mean you have any less feeling for your loved one. So try not to feel guilty about wanting to eventually get on with your life. You will always remember and love them for what you shared together.

========

Wherever your boyfriend is right now, I'm sure he wants you to be healthy and happy. He wants the best for you. So take good care of yourself, for him.

[angelfyre]

i was chatting wid his friends a few days ago. i was told that he was in a hurry to get home coz he didnt want to keep me waiting. his friend said that he was holding his fone and was txting me wen it happened. mao cguro wala jd sya kabantay. and while i was waiting kay late na sya, i remember na nangluod ko ky i was thinking g indian ko. naka2log nalng gud ko. if i only knew wat hapnd miles away. i wanted to kick myself in the head. luoran man gud ko. he knows wat ticks me off. i was thinking dat time dat how cld he keep me waiting, i txtd him na tampo ako sa kanya, etc. he didnt want to keep me waiting. im partly to blame for his death. if he didnt get into that car, if only i askd him to come home the week before as scheduled, if only im not an impatient, demanding b*tch.

a friend of his described to me in details unsa iya position when they found him. he was clutching his fone pa daw. in it was the unfinished message for me xplaining na ma late sya ng konti. i have no way of verifying if this is true. but hearing this account, i felt like i was stabbed twice over.

God please take away the pain, its killing me over and over.

[kenart]

condolence sis

tongue-tied ko, kulbaan na man nuon ko ani oi, ako bf naa pud raba saudi
nya kusog raba ko magsamok bisan mag-drive sya...ipalayo lang pud intawn

[angelfyre]