Best jokes ever..

[maiden_asj]

BAE: bayot ka noh??

LAKI: dili oi!!

BAE: Sige daw.. kisse ko beh?

LAKI: dili ko.

BAE: aahhh.. bayot lage ka!!

LAKI: dili lage ko bayot!

BAE: sige di man jod kaha ka bayot... guniti akong boobs beh?

LAKI: (Ningshagit)

. .TOL!! TABANG!!




. .Imung LOLA diri oh..
. .Luod naman kaayo nig trip!

[jd_iceblizzard]

(Muslim nanuroy sa gibaligyang balde)

Muslim: Palit namo ani akong balde igso. Lig-on kaayo ni. Bisan labayon pa ninyog bato di jud ni mabuak..

Pedro: Mao ba igso? Cge papalita kog isa igso.

(Pag-abot ni Pedro sa iyang balay tungod sa kakuryoso ini - iyang gilabay ug dakong bato ang balde ug nabuak kini. Ug pagka ugma nakita na pud niya ang Muslim....)

Pedro: Oi igso, ako tong nipalit nimo gahapon ug balde. Ingon ka dili mabuak kung labayon nakog bato. Karon tan-awa nani oh - pwerte mang buaka....

Muslim: Aw maovah igso - imoha pud tingali giigo.

[cebu_doki]

5 finalist for the crown

Q & A. Host: Candidates # 1 here is your question. What is Human Trafficking, what would you do about it should you win the crown? Candidate #1 : Thank for that wonderfull Questions. Human trafficking happens every brownouts, during brownout we don't have electricity and when we don't have electricity we dont have traffic light so we need Human Trafficking, to traffic the vehicles. And if you give me the crown I plan to sell it to buy a generator for the traffic light so we don't need human trafficking anymore. I thank you.

[gabstafari]

bata nanawag sa tig pa suyop sa tae sa septik tank:

bata: noy, kamo tong tig suyop sa tae sa septik tank?
agent: oh dong, ngano man?
bata: unya lami

[maiden_asj]

Boy: Hi Gwapa.
Girl: Hello Gwapo.
Boy: Totoy ko Miga.

Girl: (Gisagpa) BASTOS!



BOY: Aggayy! TOTOY akung pangalan miga!
HAHAHA

[ecO | hArd^]

Boy: Hi Gwapa.
Girl: Hello Gwapo.
Boy: Totoy ko Miga.

Girl: (Gisagpa) BASTOS!



BOY: Aggayy! TOTOY akung pangalan miga!
HAHAHA

hugaw gyud ni huna2x ning bae. hihih..

[cebu_doki]

A Father buys a " Lie Detector Robot " that slaps people when they LIE. He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
Father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, " I did some schoolwork " The robot SLAPS the son. The son says " OK OK ! I was at a friends house watching movies. "
Dad asks, what movie did you watch ? Son says, Toy Story. The robot slaps the son. Son says OK OK we were watching porn.
Dad says. WHAT ? at your age i didnt even know what porn was ! The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says " Well he certainly is your son ! " The robot slaps the mother !

[jongkee]

A Father buys a " Lie Detector Robot " that slaps people when they LIE. He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
Father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, " I did some schoolwork " The robot SLAPS the son. The son says " OK OK ! I was at a friends house watching movies. "
Dad asks, what movie did you watch ? Son says, Toy Story. The robot slaps the son. Son says OK OK we were watching porn.
Dad says. WHAT ? at your age i didnt even know what porn was ! The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says " Well he certainly is your son ! " The robot slaps the mother !

hahaha nice!

[cebu_doki]

Fruit Salad
father has instruction to one and only daughter on wedding night. so that father knows she is okay. if your big hunk hubby kiss you. shout MANGO ! if he hugs PINEAPPLE ! if he start undressing you shout APPLE ! . . . so the daughter followed instruction. she shouted PINEAPPLE ! ah she is okay. then shouted MANGO ! ayay. followed by another shout APPLE, suddenly she said BANANA BANANA BANANA. father was confused. more than that she shouted again. FRUIT SALAD ! . . . FRUIT SALAD . . . . FRUIT SALAD . . . ! OMG whats happening ? hahahah

[maiden_asj]

hugaw gyud ni huna2x ning bae. hihih..

di pod oi...