Post your funniest jokes here!!!

[iProvide]

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A doctor calls up his patient with his test results: "Mr. Smith I have bad news and really bad news."
Mr Smith says: "Well, I‘ll take the bad news first."
Doctor says: "You only have 24 hours to live."
Mr. Smith cries and says: "Well what could be even worse than that"
Doctor: "I forgot to call you yesterday."

[john_yo]

LALAKI:yaw og singgit kay rape ni!
BABAE: Sige mosugot nalang ko basta ayaw lang ko patya.

LALAKI: Ok paghubo na!

BABAE: pagkuha og dahon saging kay atong ihapin.

LALAKI: (bogo0n,Nagkuha dayon og dahon sa saging)

BABAE: (nisutoy og dagan og nisinggit) PAGBODBOD DIHA ANIMALA KA!!

hahaha



Know the movie "MULAN?" Part four na yon! First episode nun "MULOG then "MIDLAT", tapos "MAMBON", saka pa lang..."MULAN", coming soon na ang "MAGYO" next ang "MAHA", then finally "MARAW".

[waykurat]

One day, as a dog was walking by a store, he noticed a sign which said, "Now Hiring: must be able to type 70 words per minute, and must be bilingual. Equal opportunity employment." The dog took the sign in his mouth and brought it into the manager's office. He set it down on the desk. When the manager realized that the dog was applying for the job, he laughed and said, "I'm not going to hire a dog!" The dog put his paw on the part of the sign that read "equal opportunity employer." "Well," said the manager, "let's see you type 70 words per minute!" He handed the dog a document and watched as the dog perfectly duplicated the document, and well over 70 words per minute. The man looked at the dog. He couldn't believe it. "Don't tell me you're bilingual too." The dog opened his mouth and said, "Meow."...

[waykurat]

Duha ka inano nanggamit ug babaye. Niabang ug kwarto nga nagtapad.

INANO1: Paita ani uy. Di man gyud mobarog ako-a!
(Samtang iyang madungog sa pikas kwarto.)
INANO2: Padung na sab ko...1...2...3...ugh!
(Tibuok gabii.)
Pagka-ugma.

INANO1: Komusta man gabii pre? Pwerte gyud nakong uwawa uy. Wa man gyud mobarog si junior!
INANO2: Kana, imong gika-uwaw? Wa man gani ko nga ultimo pagkat-kat sa katre, wa gyud ko kahimo!
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[waykurat]

Jinggoy: Tay, nganong nagsul-ob ka og duha kabuok jacket samtang namintal
Erap: Ingon man gud ang directions nga Use 2 coats for best results!

[reloj_alfred]

anakNaa sa abroad nagpadala ug mga gamit ug maga pagkaon pati kwarta sa iyang ginikanan sa probinsya.)

Nanay: Anak salamat kaau sa imong mga gipadala. Nalipay kaau imong tatay. Cge cya kaon sa chocolate ug spam na imong g padala.. Louy lang kaau imong tatay kay nag lain imong tiyan pag inum niya sa imported na gatas.. Basin baho nato imong gpadala na NIVEA MILK lotion dai. Tan awa sad sunod ang kung baho na imong g padala.


ToinkZ!!!!

[sevmik]

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."

He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.

When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

She looks at him and says, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?"

[atchet]

hahahaha,,,,lingawa nako ani oi...nawa akoa ka bored...hehehe nice 1...keep it up

[firstmary]

keep it up! nice jokes.. hehehe

[Devian]

Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!
Misis: Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa
buhay, lahat ng
problema mo problema ko... ano problema natin?

......Mister: nabuntis ko si Inday, tayo ang ama