Juan and Pedro Jokes...

[AntitaniC]

---

Pedro and Juan sa gawas sa dan...

Pedro: Bai juan.... naka kita jud kog ingon ana nga palaboy na bata sa gawas Sto Niño

Louy kaau siya... walay kaon... walay mama... walay balay... mangayo rajud siyag piso.. para palit pan.... para kaon....

Juan: noh? lo-uya sah?? Nya ge unsa man nimu? imo ge tabangan??

Pedro: naaah... lisud jud kaau uy..... NI PIYONG nalang jud ko samtang ga lakaw.....

Juan: sus maayo unta na shot kas imbornal uy......

[prankasio]

Pedro (sakristan): bndisyon koh pader ky nkasala koh..
Juan (pari): unsa my imong sala?
Pedro (sakristan): nangawat koh ug lubi dre..
Juan (pari): pila kbuok?
Pedro (sakristan): 3 kbuok..
Juan (pari): pun-e ug lima ky magbiko tah.!! hahaha

[prankasio]

TEACHER: ok class, only pedro got 98/100
PEDRO: dah! kabuhat mo ana? panguli mos inyong bukid ui!
tanom kamote kaon dukot. Mga Bugo.!

TEACHER: d rest got 100..

[jake_smack11]

if i wer to choose mind is very impt. why? because God put it over our hearts.. it controls everything...in other word mind is more powerful than hearts..that's why use ur mind not the hearts.....

i agree pero murag nasaag man...

[junnel]

>TALAS NI JUAN BULAG:
>
>
> Si Juan bulag pumasok sa isang maliit na restaurant.
> Sinalubong siya ng waiter at wala sa isip na nagbigay ng menu.
> "Hindi mo ba napansing bulag ako?
> Bigyan mo na lang ako ng mga gamit na tinidor at nang malaman ko kung ano
> ang kakainin ko!", bulyaw ni Juan bulag.
>
> Hindi na nagtanong ang nalilitong waiter at kumuha ng dalawang tinidor na
> hindi pa hugas at binigay ni juan bulag.
> Inamoy ng juan ang una.
> "Fried chicken! Hindi ako kumakain ng fried chicken", sabi ni juan bulag
> pagkaamoy ng unang tinidor.
> At inamoy naman ang ikalawang tinidor.
> "Eto, meatloaf, bigyan mo ako niyan".
> Namangha ang waiter at dumiretso ito sa kusina para kausapin ang cook na
si
> Rosario.
> "Ang galing noong bulag, oh, amoy pa lang alam na niya ang oorderin niya.
> Magluto ka nga ng meatloaf", kuwento ng waiter kay Rosario.
> Nagluto si Rosario ng meatloaf at ibinigay sa bulag.
> Nasarapan ang customer kaya nagbigay ito ng malaking tip.
> Kinabukasan, bumalik ang bulag at nagbigay na naman ng dalawang tinidor
ang
> waiter para ipaamoy rito.
> "Ito, gusto ko ng porkchop", sabi ni Juan bulag pagkaamoy pa lang ng unang
> tinidor.
> Sa ikatlong araw, umamoy na naman si juan bulag ng dalawang tinidor.
> "Hindi ako kumakain ng hamburger.
> Ito namang isa, meatloaf ulit. Wala na bang bago?", reklamo ni juan bulag.
> "Teka lang ho", sabi ng waiter sabay labas.
> Kumuha ng malinis na tinidor ang waiter at pinahid sa loob ng panty ni
> Rosario para paglaruan ang customer.
> "Subukan n'yo po ito", sabi ng waiter na iniabot ang tinidor na pinunas
sa
> panty ni Rosario.
> "Aba!", gulat na sabi ni juan bulag.
> "Dito na ba nagtratrabaho si Rosario?"

[junnel]

May naka-dinner date ako, may kulangot near
her lip. Sinabihan ko na lang na may kanin near her lip. Dinilaan niya at
sabi-"Ikaw talaga, hindi naman kanin eh, ULAM.

Juan: Doc, hina ng tenga ko. Di ko marinig
kahit utot ko.
DR.: Heto inumin mo ng isang linggo.
Juan: Lalakas na ang pandinig ko?
DR.: Hindi lalakas na ang utot mo!


> TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
> Juan: Don't bite any.

> Ano sa English ang NOLI ME TANGERE? TOUCH ME NOT!
> Sa Chinese? NO CHAN CHING!

> Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
> Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

[junnel]

A girl newcomer in HELL, complained to Satan.
Ang daming cute guys dito kaya lang ang lilit ng
kanilang _ _ _ _. Satan: Gaga kung malaki yan, eh
di para ka ring nasa HEAVEN.

[junnel]

Some Things You Just Can't Explain

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting stewed. A
man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here
on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that is so horrible?
Farmer: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow
milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her
left leg and kicked it over.
Man: That's not so bad, what's the big deal?
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So then what happened?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left
with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her.
Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and
kicked it over.
Man: Again? So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the
right.
Man: And then what?
Farmer: I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I
got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocks over the
bucket with her tail.
Man: Wow, you must have been pretty upset!
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So then what did you do?
Farmer: Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt
and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell
down and my wife walked in......

[jillianeliz08]

hehe very fun..

[vianess]

Juan ug Pedro sakay ug trisikol nga libat ang draiber

J & P: noy, pila plete kada tao?
Driver: kwatro
Juan: bai Pedz, libat ang drayber, so atong iplete 4 lng ky ma 8 mana iya panan.aw ky mu doble man.
Pedro: bitaw noh! cge ahahah
driver: abot nata dong
J & P: plete noy o, 8 na hah
driver: kuwang mani!
J & P: ngano kuwang man 8 mana!
driver: 8 lagi, pero upat man sad mo ka tao!

toinkz