Hi Istoryans!
I'm a new member but I have been wandering around for quite sometime. I am having this dilemma. I hope I can gather some thoughts from you guys so I can clear out my mind.
So here it goes.
There is this girl I like since we've met. And I believe, I know, I have fallen in love with her. I met her through a common friend. Since then we communicated thru texts, phone calls, WeChat, Viber. Etc. . . Unfortunately then,
she still has a girlfriend. After a month of constant communication, we were forced to stop everything since this has been a topic of dispute between her and her girlfriend (I understand though, who wouldn't be mad at this right?) So I stopped talking to her.
Three months after, she texted. We regained the kind of communication we once had. This time she's single but still in love with her ex. They had no formal break- up. And it is really not actually clear that they're no longer together.
As we continued our communication, I am slowly falling for her until one day I told her that I am already in love with her.
She told me this, "I don't want us to be together 'coz I promised myself before that she's going to be the last girl I'll fall in love with. No matter what happens. And I no longer believe that relationships of this kind last so long as we want, I might end up losing you, and I don't want that. I want you to be my friend forever."
Question: I'm confused by this really. I asked her to elaborate she refused. I felt that these are only excuses and that she really does not WANT to like me that way.
However, so stubborn as I am, I insisted. I told her, I'm gonna wait until she's ready to give me a chance. Everyday of my life, since that time I decided I'm gonna win her (and it's been two months now), I promised myself to make her feel how much I love her. I started sending her gifts, as part of my plan of making her feel.
From time to time I ask her about this, til one day she told me that I'm a special friend to her and that she does not want to lose me. And then one time also, she sent a text message, how I wish I can transfer these feelings to . . . . (this was sort of a GM and . . . . was my name).
Question
#2 : What do these things suppose to mean
Whenever I ask her if she wants to stop all these special things I do and start being a friend, just a friend, to her, I get no answer. What shall I do? Shall I wait a little more? The thing is she constantly tells me she really loves her ex. Everytime she cries because of pain from what her ex has done to her. Deymmm! I die of pain more.
What shall I do

Please help me...
She'll be celebrating her birthday this coming May, and I wanna do something very much special. Actually, we're located very distantly. That's why I just send gifts through couriers. I wanna go to her place. Cross the distance between us just to prove myself and my love for her.
But. . .I'm kinda afraid. The heartache that I could probably get from rejection might kill me.
Please let me know your thoughts guys. Thank yoooouuu so much in advance!
