just for laugh

[kid_lou]

---

IDD TELECOM SERVICE

> >This is a Filipino making a long distance phone call....
> >Operator: AT&T, How may I help you?
> >Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.
> >Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
> >Pinoy: Aybegurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
> >Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
> >Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio
> >Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
> >Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling
> >phonetically.
> >Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
> >Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a
> >time and citing a word for each letter.
> >Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio
>Abanquel.
> >I will spell his name foneticali,
> >Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, P as in pidio, I as in idio, D
>>as in dio, I as in io, and O as in o.
> >Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
> >Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel:
> >A as in airport, B as in because, A as in airport agen, N as in enemy,
>>Q as in Cuba , U as in Europe , E as in important, and L as in elephant.


(Toink! Butangi)

[kid_lou]

COFFEE & DONUT

> >This is a Filipino in an American coffee shop:
> >Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?
> >Pinoy: No, Big cup!! Big cup!
> >Waiter: What would you like for your breakfast?
> >Pinoy: Hameneggs.
> >Waiter: And how do you like your eggs, sir?
> >Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I like dem beri much.
> >Waiter: No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
> >Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I wud like dem cooked.
> >Waiter: (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs, fried?
> >poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?
> >Pinoy: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or
> >sop boiled.
> >Waiter: And what bread would you like?
> >Pinoy: Begyurpardon?
> >Waiter: What kind of bread would you like? white? rye? whole wheat?
>toast?
> >Pinoy: Pan Americano
> >Waiter: We don't have that.
> >Pinoy: Okey, gib me taystee.
> >Waiter: We don't have that either, sir.
> >Pinoy: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?
> >Waiter: Sir, you are wasting my time. I shall ask for the last time, what
> >would you like for breakfast?
> >Pinoy: Donut plis....

(Toink! Pabadlon pud)

[mom]

hehehe......shimiyu and kid_lou your jokes are funny

everyone is welcome to post their jokes too.

cheers!!!

[mom]

Understanding Engineers - One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when One said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want. "The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Two
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with An accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Seven
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The Engineer bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

[shimiyu]

Steve had suffered from blinding headaches for many years, since his late teens.
He decided to try one last time to remedy his situation, and went to see a headache specialist.
The doctor said, "Good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."Steve was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need a new suit." Steve entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Steve' laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"Steve tried on the suit.

It fit perfectly. As Steve admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Steve thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Steve and said, "Let's see .. 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck." Steve was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Steve tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Steve adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Steve was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Steve's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2 E." Steve was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Steve tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. As Steve walked comfortably around the shop the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Steve thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Steve's waist and said, "Let's see size 36." Steve laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old.

"The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. Size 32 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."


Always ask for a second opinion.

[jkid8]

hahahahahahaha lingaw ka-ayo

[mom]

THE 6 BEST SMART ASS

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


SMART ASS ANSWEr
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[dshai26]

ang reply sa bata nga you should be F*#@ing Dead was great.......

[neomorgatory69]

ahihihih... smart asses...

[Ignizian]

hehe! funny!