Originally Posted by
blimpz
Q. Why should I hire you?
A. Because they say you should always hire people who are better than you.
Q. Why do you want this job?
A. So I can have a front for my more lucrative activities.
Q. What do you remember about your life as a child?
A. The courts promised to suppress all that after I turned 18. Why do you want to know?
Q. Who do you admire most in history?
A. The Three Stooges.
Q. Why?
A. Because when someone asked them a stupid question, they smacked the idiot in the face.
Q. What five or six adjectives best describe you?
A. Really, really, really, really, really cool.
Q. What can you tell me about your creative ability?
A. I think my answers to most of your questions are pretty good indicators.
Q. Tell me about you as a team player?
A. Teamwork is OK, as long as other people don't get in the way.
Q. Are you willing to take a drug test as part of your employment?
A. Sure. What kind of drugs do I get to test?
Q. Did your grade-point average reflect your work ability?
A. Absolutely. Maximum results for minimum effort has always been my goal.
Q. Do you consider yourself to be a smart person?
A. No. But I'm the only person in the world with that opinion.
Q. What is your greatest weakness?
A. Three-foot putts for par.
Q. How do you handle change?
A. I usually put it in a jar in my sock drawer.
Q. Can you supervise people?
A. Sure. Tell people what to do, then kick their butts if they don't do it.
Q. Describe your management style.
A. Don't do anything you can make someone else do for you.
Q. How do you go about setting an example?
A. I never let anyone catch me sleeping in my office.
Q. How would your subordinates describe your management style?
A. Who cares.
Q. How do you define a "problem person"?
A. Anyone who disagrees with me.
Q. Are you a good communicator?
A. Huh?
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