Is it okey to wait tobe the 2nd wife after annulment?

[maia_79]

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Hi, I have a friend who is in a similar situation like yours. We (her friends), have always advised her to just take it slow with the guy - specially nga wala pa gyud na file ang annulment. We don't know much about the law but maybe this could be grounds for the wife to accuse the guy of bigamy and file a case against him. It really depends gyud if tinuod ba gyud nga dili na gyud ma work-out ang relationship nila. Kay kinsa man gud nga inahan ang mu sugot nga ma bungkag ang iyang pamilya not unless dili na gyud ma-tulon ang ilang sitwasyon? ... anyway, if magpadayon gyud mo sa guy, you'll have to live with the fact nga kabit ka - for the time being.... who knows, basin magpa anull na gyud diay siya in the near future... 'till then, careful lang gyud ka ....

[syrenn]

pra nko dli gud na ok

[captpoloy]

nesdel, have some things for you to ponder...

If you're involved with a married man, and you're waiting for your turn, it's time to re-evaluate your situation. If you're putting your life on hold for a married man, he's stolen not only your heart — he's stolen your brain!

Break off this relationship today. I know you already fallen in love with this guy and it hurts, and you'll feel broken-hearted, but you'll be better off. Take some time to get really clear with yourself about who you are and what you want. The most important relationship you'll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. And eventually, you'll fall in love again — with someone who's willing to make you first in his life.

[Streetcar]

Everyone has great advice for you bitaw Nesdel including me but ikaw ra gyud nakasayud unsa imong gibati all we can do is advice you but it is still your call. The most important thing that you need to do while he is planning that annulment is please.....stay out of the picture. Stay away from his family and children including his parents. This is definitely not the right time for you to do any of that. Let him figure out what he needs to do for himself and do not intervene in any of that. It might not work in your favor as everyone here has warned you already of what could happen. Like i said, just give him time and wait it out. Sa totoo lang, kanang mga bag-ong divorce nga mga guys need time for themselves kay daghan na sila emotional baggage that they need to work for themselves and if you happen to be there when they are like that, kawawa ka lang kay ang ilang focus wala gyud sa imo. It happened to me so i just want you to know. The best time for guys to get involved again, is when they are totally free from the emotional ties that bind them to the previous marriage because fresh pa kaayo nang ilang memory with the life they were used to there's lots of frustration, anger and resentment in them. Its not fair to you. Guys who takes on a girl while they have all these things in their life is just plain selfish and only thinking of themselves and not you. Kay kung ikaw walay problema madamay sab ka. So stay clear right now and be more patient if that is what you want to do. Otherwise kung ako yun, i did it before i said goodbye. I dont want to be with someone after they are fresh off the divorce and they might be physically with me but mentally far away (with the life they were used to). Its not fair. To me its not. So take it from me lain lang to akong sitwasyon kasi divorce na gyud siya when i met him but still he was newly divorced and I have to feel and bear the adjustments too. I said goodbye realized i did not love him enough to marry him anyway.

[Ms.Beau]

One day you'll look back on this phase in your life and you'll have peace in your heart--that is, if you did the right thing.

[hallerz]

im in this situation ryt now...it's just dat d girl is d 1 hu left my bf ryt now...she played another team... also dey hav a kid...dey r separated for almost 3 yrs na...d guy is not n d phils ryt now...his working abroad...he'll be back 2 yrs from now...wen he comes back...he'll file for annulment...or maybe d girl s filing it ryt now...it's just dat my bf cannot be active wd d process coz his not here...but as soon as he comes back...he'll do it ryt away...his going to marry me n d church...

about d saving of the so called family or marriage...y force it f it can't b fixed...it will just make d situation worst...let each other set free...and i don't beliv n d tot of "stay each other...coz of d kid"...dat would only cause problem to the kid...he'll/she'll be seeing a unhappy living...

[Ms.Beau]

im in this situation ryt now...it's just dat d girl is d 1 hu left my bf ryt now...she played another team... also dey hav a kid...dey r separated for almost 3 yrs na...d guy is not n d phils ryt now...his working abroad...he'll be back 2 yrs from now...wen he comes back...he'll file for annulment...or maybe d girl s filing it ryt now...it's just dat my bf cannot be active wd d process coz his not here...but as soon as he comes back...he'll do it ryt away...his going to marry me n d church...

about d saving of the so called family or marriage...y force it f it can't b fixed...it will just make d situation worst...let each other set free...and i don't beliv n d tot of "stay each other...coz of d kid"...dat would only cause problem to the kid...he'll/she'll be seeing a unhappy living...

Hi, hallerz. I believe the point is not "saving the marriage" but protecting oneself while waiting for the married guy's annulment. A married guy is a married guy. If he wants an annulment he should get around to filing it...now. Until he is legally free, you will only have his word. Of course there's trust and all, but this doesn't mean one should be less prudent.

[n`gel]

nesdel, don't listen to them hehehe. Don't listen man gyud. Bitaw, here's a fact. Naa gyuy BAD nga wife. Yup and only men who get hooked with them will know how bad they can be. Kanang mga BAD wife, stressful na sa iyang husband. DILI MALALIM MAKISAMA ug taw nga wala nay love, wala nay respeto, kay I know kana nga guy galisud na gyud and he wants out of the marriage.

Now, consider this. Kung kasal siya sa simbahan I will say "leave him" kay sala ang makabit ug kasado sa simbahan. Faithful man gud ko. God said, siya kuno ang ga bind and walay taw nga maka unbind sa marriage. While sa imong situtation kasal ra sa huwes so okay ra. Kids? Basta bad nga wife usually raba bad nga mama. Ma okay ra na sila as long as ila dad kay open nga i-share sila sa ila mama.

So, I say it's okay. Wait. I mean kung wala pud kay laing opportunities, walay laing guy nga single for you to choose from. Wait. He deserves you kay dili naman kaha maayo iyang marriage sa wife. He deserves to be happy pud. And iyang wife, she deserves to happy pud, be at peace, find someone nga maka tolerate sa iyang kinaiya or find someone pareha niya ug kinaiya.

A good man deserves a good wife. Let him file for annulment. We're not perfect, we make mistakes sometimes, and kanang mistake sa marriage lisud kaayo na. Maynalang siya kay dili kasal sa simbahan. And he's willing to marry you in church that means, he saw in you a good woman kaysa sa iya wife. And he deserves to have you. Labi na hasta ang family sa guy kay against na sa wife. There must be awfully something wrong with her kung unanimous pud ang impression sa iya pamilya.

I'm sure if his mom gets to know you, she would plea for you to save his son.

You deserve to be happy and so does him. Saon taman pung chance nimo nainlove man ka ug minyo pero sige lang. Hilabtanon kaayo ning time nato, although unconsciously, pero time plays a great role in our lives.

Update lang diri how it's going coz I want to see unsa imo decision.

[nesdel]

Thanks for sharing ur thoughts with me. I really appreciate it guys... He said he called his wife and told her about his plans of having their marriage annulled and he said she was all for it daw and make everything legal.They've been married for 20 years. They were married when he was only 18. He is now 38 years old. He has 2 sons aged 20 & 17. He said they are old enough to understand everything. His eldest even said "mau pa magbuwag mo ni mama Pa. He said im his only hope for a second chance at happiness and he wanted to start a new life with me. I don't want to leave him now but i also don't want to be in trouble. He said his wife is bastos daw so i can't believe she agreed to it just like that..... So im in a wait and see position right now...

[nesdel]

Now he calls me almost every hour. Afraid that i wont answer his calls after his confession and leave him and he cries everytime....