A Cheating Dad

[m!nyanG]

ako papa ingon ani pud..sa txt/call nako nahibaw.an i dnt know d girls....
bt kato 4yrs ago,,uyab diay cla sa iya secretary,den kana iya sec. n resign ky m work dw s bcolod,,bt da truth is gpa sibat diay xa sako papa ky d girl is pregnant,,gpa ad2 nya s ormoc saq cuzn,,til nanganak ang girl,,wana jud ka agwanta aq cousin ky nakonsensya n siya sa pagtago,(nalibog gd sya @ 1st f mo tell xa or dli,ky iya gd uyo.an aq papa bsin masuko,naluoy pd xa ako mama bt d lng xa nahan gubot)
mao to aq tiya&cuz nitell najud saq mama,,pero bsag ingon ato gbuhat saq papa gpa saylo jpon aq mama,,naluoy pd aq mama sa bata,den n promise aq papa dat d na daw mausab,,unsa pd nga after 1 1/1 yr sa bata,,namanghoran man...tsktsk gubot pd tong panahona etc etc,,bt aftr jpon napasaylo s aq mama c papa.....mao jud na mas mohtag sa K kysa sa legal family..tsktsk
after yrs,,bago rani nahitabo,,naa napud lain aq papa,,secretary sa export company(kami mn tag iya sa lot,gtukoran sa planta)so office aq papa tupad ra,,i mean 1 ra k compound sila,,dghan na kaayog istorya2,den baliwwla lng 2 ky wah gd mi nakita,ky aq papa tua sa provnce,den kami dia sa syudad,,bt mailhan jd nga nausab c papa,,if naa xa dre mangitah xa bikil pra mka balik daun sa province,twagan dugy motabag,off cp sahai etc....dre najud nangisog aq ermatz,,ky iya gsulong ang girl,,og aq papa iya na gbalaan,,...
btw,maluoy sd q ako mama during dat times ky she cried in silent i mean she hide her feelings jud namo...d nya ipahibaw nga ana ani,,.i love my mama so much bya...
*wt i did rman is 1time ngka talk mi aq papa,,ky naa to xa gtel naq den na open n nga topic..ni 2bag jud q infront of him na "ayaw pag malinis,,nagtuo kang wala ko kabaw sa imo gbuhat ni mama,ayaw nlng pag expect nga dako pko og respeto nmo,,wala gane ka mi respeto bsag ni mama nlng,ika pila nana nmo gbuhat,pero gdawat jpon ka,,,mao ng ayaw kahbong why ingon ani imong mga anak nmo,naa nami buot pra mkasabot,d mi buta bungol pra d makabaw,,wala lng ka kbaw unsa akong gbati"...hahaha amardz kaayo to nga time,,wla gud naka tingog ako papa....

bt bsag ana,,love jpon nako c papa bt mas pajud c mama..hehehe
ky if d tungod ni papa sa iyang kahago etc,,d mi ma ingon ani.....
naa jpon q respto nya,po naa najud gap


pasensya na mejo taas...ahahaha

[darkdruid]

hhhmmnn... would just like to share..

attitude is the most and hardest thing to change in a person... since this aint the first, then accept nalang.

Concern for Mom & Siblings...
-if your up for the challenge... find a more reliable source of income in which you wont need your dad in the picture (not getting rid of your dad but giving him freedom). if you cant get up for the challenge... then there's nothing you can do.
-start a plan of action in which you and your mom wont rely on your dad... in this way your dad can do whatever he wanted... and set him free... here's the catch: if things go out right, then he will realize that he already had a good and healthy family -- it takes for a person to realize at the end that somebody still love's him inspite of all the negative actions he made.

hope it give's you something to think about.

[aridoasis]

@pissed off and m!ngyang: i'm sad to hear that i'm not the only one experiencing this. it's too painful to bear.

@darkdruid: i'm already working on those challenges. so far, still waiting for my big break.

[darkdruid]

@darkdruid: i'm already working on those challenges. so far, still waiting for my big break.

nice to hear that... and yeah... best of luck!

[violeta99]

ei...umm just wanna share a little sumthin'

i'm also in the same situation that you guys are in...i'm just a 3rd yr. high school student and still learning the rights and lefts in this world...actually dili kaayo ko vocal when it comes to family matters and di ko open sa akong mga peers before...akong dad is an OFW...seaman to be exact...sa katung wala pa ko kahibaw about anang iyang mga binuhatang dili maayo, taas kaayo ko ug respeto ana niya...as in sangko sa langit and hadlok gyud ko masayop specially kung naa siya sa amo kay usually becoz of work ala sya sa pinas...strict sya as in to the highest level and sometimes makaingon ko nga ala na sa lugar iyang kastrikto hasta akong mama bura niyag anak nga pirmi niya bawalan...bura'g wala'y freedom bah...and everytime nga mulakaw siya padung abroad bura mi'g makaginhawa ug maayo...niopen akong mama namo cguro mga 12-13 pa ko...actually wala ko mashock or mabag-ohan...maybe becoz sa karong panahona ang mga bata di na kaayo parihas sauna nga if naay something bad nga mahappen di nila madawat...so mao to niopen na ako mama namo kay lain man sad kaayo ug iya ra'ng ugumon iyang gibati...when i found out, my only reaction was "martyr gyud akong mama"...sauna pa diay na niya mabantayan akong dad nga naay hidden agenda...pero ala lang niya pansina kay lagi like other mothers nagdahum pa lagi siya nga mabuo pa niya ang among family...cebuano, boholano, tagalog, name it...bura sya'g kinsang gwapo nga luzon, visayas, mindanao naa man gyud siya'y babae...HILAS!!!...last year gyud...it was very painful especially for me nga akong dad niuli na from abroad and nistay sya sa manila without informing us...wala mi kahibaw nga 1 week na siya naa ngadto sa manila with girl/girls...lain kaayo kay kahibaw mo giunsa nako pagkahibaw nga naa na ako dad nitawag iyang kauban sa amo landline and ako ang nakatubag...he said "ta, naa imong daddy" ingon ko "umm...kinsa diay ni" then he said "iya ni'ng kauban, wala pa diay niuli imong daddy ngara sa inyo...kato pa man siya'ng katapusan niuli(October 31)...and the day nga nitawag iyang kauban was nov 4...muuli ta lagi sya for my b-day nga iningka nov 9...bura ko'g tanga nga wala ko kahibaw nga naa na ako dad sa pinas...and u can't call it a surprise kay bisag akong mama ala kahibaw nga naa na siya sa pilipinas...sakit gyud kaayo...and what's really degrading is akong mama gidwat gihapon sya despite the fact nga nangilad sya dili lang sa akong mama hasta na pud sa amoa nga iyang mga anak...i have a brother who is luckily unaffected as of now...pero what will happen in the future syempre mamulat sad tawn na siya oi...ang nakabati man gud sa ako dad is katung giconfront na sya sa ako mama iyang...gidapatan akong mama...and wa ko kapugong sa ako self nigawas ko sa among kwarto ug nisyagit ko nga "AYAW na anaa akong mama dy!!!"...and u know what he did nikuha sya ug silhig nga hait ang gunitanan ug iya ta kong duslakon...asa ka mangita ana sya na gani sayop sya pa gyud ang naay guts nga manghagis...HILAS GYUD!!!...ang ako lang bah...lain kaayo akong mama oi...sige na lang siya paubos...cge na lang pasensya...pildi pa niya si Rizal sa iyang pagkamartyr...sus lami kaayo ingnan nga mahal na ang semento karon para himuan pa sya ug rebulto tupad ni rizal sa luneta...ambot lang...makalagot lagi...sus kung lain pa tong bata mubigay gyud oi...may na lang kusog sad akong support system which is composed of my friends and realtives...ang ako lang bah...ganahan gyud ko nga magbuwag na cla...it's never gonna be the same again...after all that's been done...di na mabalik akong respect and trust sa ako dad...he's now in canada, i think...what i really worry about is when he comes back...for sure dawaton na pud siya sa among mama and back to normal na pud...can't she understand nga it's too hard for us to live the way we were before...tinuoray lang like many of you nigamay na sad akong pagtan-aw sa akong mama...and you can't blame me for that...kamo kuno'y makamama ug under nya makapapa ug abusado...gali lang taas gyud ug pasensya akong mama and very diplomatic...di ko ganahan nga maaffected siya sa mga sultion sa ubang tao about sa ilang status...kyeber namo anang ilang mga panultion ngano mabusog diay mi anang chismis nila...kung chismisa'y lang di ko papildi oi...ing-ana na lang gyud cla ka limpyo...karon i'm trying to be strong for my brother and for my mom...it may be hard but with God's help and with the support of the people who love us despite our shortcomings...i know kaya namo ni...i just pray nga bisag dili na lang mi makabaws sa among papa...kay kahibaw man mi nga di gyud sya magmatngon kay lagi pentium 1 man ang utok ato...hinaot unta nga di na mi niya hilabtan...luv namo sya kung luv and di sad niya dapat biyaan iyang respnsibilidad namo...ngano sala diay namo nga iya mi'ng gipakataw aning kalibutana...guys ang ato na lang ani ang pagpaningkamot na lang nga mahimo tang malampuson gawas sa atong problema...kita mga tao di man ta hatagan ug problema nga di nato kaya...fight lang gud...mabuhi ra ta...ako bisag layo2x pa akong adtuon...karon pa lang maningkamot na ko nga di ko maparihas sa uban nga ibasol dayun sa mga ginikanan ilang kapakyas...kay lagi tungod buwag ilang mama ug papa, napariwara sila...di na excuse oi... kung wa gyud ka'y au wa gyud...sa atong mga papa, unta makita ninyo nga kami naa mi mga buot ug kung magpakaarun-ingnon mo adto sa inyong mga babae...sila'y butbuta...total parihas ra mong nagbinutbutay...salamat sa space...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy....nakapagawas gyud ko...

[m!nyanG]

@darkruid:
student pako..heheh
btw,ok rman mi wid out my father,,ky aq nmn lang student sa amo.a....
to think lang mas dako og share ako mother sa amo business...ky dghan mn nka name niya...hehehe
aq father d ganahan mkig buwag,,ky akong mama nkadala swerte sa iya...

[violeta99]

Hope to get some advice from fellow istoryans...

I caught my dad cheating - that's the short version.

Many times, my dad leaves his cellphone at home, and asks me to take his calls for him. One day, I received a call from an unknown lady looking for "hun". She talked to me, assuming I was my dad because I kinda sound like him over the phone. Well she was all mushy and I didn't know how to react, so I told her she got the wrong number and put down the phone. She kept on calling and calling but I never picked up, until she quit it. The nosy child that I am, I snooped around my dad's cellphone and hit the mother load - several sms exchanges containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more - from different women dating back to years before. Students, hookers - you name it. He's giving cellphones, allowances, and other stuff too, stuff he wouldn't even think twice of giving to his children. I didn't know how to handle it, so I just kept it to myself.

--- That was 4 years ago.

Since then, I continued snooping around and he's still at it, with different women for periods of time. Well, I couldn't stand it anymore and told him that I knew what he was doing and told him that it disgusted me. He went all self-righteous telling me I had no right to do anything, and wouldn't admit to his wrongdoings - a lot of harsh words were exchanged. At this point in time, I learned that my mom also found out about his extracurricular activities, and he's blaming her that it's her fault that I found out. I also learned that that what my mom knew about was only of the present girl he was having an affair with - his secretary. So, I told him that I knew more than what he had expected, more than what mom knew, but haven't told her, and we stopped speaking to each other. And he calls me stupid and mistaken to defend my mom - to think, from groceries to tuition fee's, my mom handles them all - even buying his underwear. My mom, being a genuine mother, opted for reconciliation for the sake of my two siblings, and at the moment, we all still live under the same roof, only my mom and me knowing my dad's doings.



--- That was 2 years ago.

Right now, the family looks fine, except for that fact that my dad and I haven't spoken a single word to each other. I try to avoid him as much I can coz I can't stand being around him. He's with the family more often, and spends a lot more time with mom - or so I thought.

Two weeks ago, I'd found his mobile left behind when he went of to work. Someone was calling - his colleague, and I informed him that the phone was left behind. Taking the opportunity, I did some snooping, and again found a dozen or so messages exchanged within the last few days containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more, now from a sender whose name is only 3 letters. I checked the number and for sure, it wasn't my mom's.

He's up to his dirty doings again. I'm 22 and I'm powerless to do anything. I don't wanna see my mom hurt again, but I guess it's inevitable that she will find out what's going on sooner or later. If she's break up with my dad, the salary I'm earning wouldn't be enough to support my mom and my siblings.

I'm the only one who knew about this, and now, you, my fellow istoryans, know too. The are some details I left out - it was already painful enough having to refer to him as 'my dad' while I wrote this post.

bai, kahibaw ka ngano di na muhunong imo papa...feel nako sakit man gyud na bai...chixomaniac gyud na bai rihas ra na sa ako papa...gali lang ako papa hilas...burag gwapo...kaluod...yucks au ako papa...may man gani imo papa kay nibawi man ako wa gyud bai...naa pa lang lagi ko kaila nga mamamarang aie...hagbay na nakong gipabarang...kanang di na gyud makapanchix ba...fighting lang bai!!!

[Bongoton]

men are born polygamous, just like majority of the male species in this planet. that is nature. but since we have laws and morals, that supresses the nature of men, but not totally. that explains nganong naay kabit²

[Soul Doctor]

bai, kahibaw ka ngano di na muhunong imo papa...feel nako sakit man gyud na bai...chixomaniac gyud na bai rihas ra na sa ako papa...gali lang ako papa hilas...burag gwapo...kaluod...yucks au ako papa...may man gani imo papa kay nibawi man ako wa gyud bai...naa pa lang lagi ko kaila nga mamamarang aie...hagbay na nakong gipabarang...kanang di na gyud makapanchix ba...fighting lang bai!!!

Don't judge your dads.
They all have their reasons why they are that way.

For a seaman, that is what we call the social cost.
You may gain financially by working abroad
but the social cost is ---you will lose your love for the family.

Kung seaman ka,
being away from anyone
makes you feel that you have less control of your feelings.
You will feel not loved by your family--nga kwarta ra ilang gi-apas nimo.
You will feel na dili ka nila love kay dili motext or mosuwat man lang nimo.
Mafeel sad nimo nga dili appreciative ang imong mga anak.
Magsigeg pangayo bisan unsa murag sayon ang pagpangitag kwarta didto.
Dili sad makita ang ilang sakripisyo.
Mao nga mudangop na lang sila sa alcohol or women to give them comfort.
Once man gud maka inom na manginit ang lawas ug mangita na dayon og chicks.
Mao nga kung dili lig-on og values ug prinsipyo ang usa ka tawo,
maglisod siya pagsurvive sa trabaho sa gawas without losing his family.

[aridoasis]

Don't judge your dads.
They all have their reasons why they are that way.

For a seaman, that is what we call the social cost.
You may gain financially by working abroad
but the social cost is ---you will lose your love for the family.

Kung seaman ka,
being away from anyone
makes you feel that you have less control of your feelings.
You will feel not loved by your family--nga kwarta ra ilang gi-apas nimo.
You will feel na dili ka nila love kay dili motext or mosuwat man lang nimo.
Mafeel sad nimo nga dili appreciative ang imong mga anak.
Magsigeg pangayo bisan unsa murag sayon ang pagpangitag kwarta didto.
Dili sad makita ang ilang sakripisyo.
Mao nga mudangop na lang sila sa alcohol or women to give them comfort.
Once man gud maka inom na manginit ang lawas ug mangita na dayon og chicks.
Mao nga kung dili lig-on og values ug prinsipyo ang usa ka tawo,
maglisod siya pagsurvive sa trabaho sa gawas without losing his family.

Well, that cannot be considered as an excuse for my dad. One thing is that he isn't a seaman. My family has been living under the same roof ever since. And another thing is that he's allergic to beer - less than one glass is enough for the allergic reactions to manifest.

On another note, being weak and being away from home is not an excuse, especially if the deed becomes more than just a one night stand. Sa mga storya diri sa, sobra pa sa one night stand ang gipangbuhat - gibuntis pa, gipamily pa jud. Is there such a thing as an excuse for adultery?