"Out of sight, out of mind" vs. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" Which is true?

[Soul_Captive]

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"Out of sight, out of mind" ...my take...this is only applicable to people without the capacity for imagination.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...my take...so you're saying, you weren't that fond of him/her to begin with, when he/she was near?

All funny, really. The only truth--there is no truth.

-RODION

The relationship is all based on imagination then?

[rodsky]

The relationship is all based on imagination then?

May I ask you to define what is real in this world? If reality is just an impression based from all your collective neural input from the five senses, and that imagination is just an amalgam of residual experience based on previous input plus your desires and fantasies, then can you truly distinguish what is "real" from what is "imagined"?

And to answer your question--it's not necessarily based on imagination, but imagination has an enriching power in a relationship--the moment creative imagination starts to wither, chances are, the relationship itself will follow suit.

-RODION

[Soul_Captive]

May I ask you to define what is real in this world? If reality is just an impression based from all your collective neural input from the five senses, and that imagination is just an amalgam of residual experience based on previous input plus your desires and fantasies, then can you truly distinguish what is "real" from what is "imagined"?

And to answer your question--it's not necessarily based on imagination, but imagination has an enriching power in a relationship--the moment creative imagination starts to wither, chances are, the relationship itself will follow suit.

-RODION

The debate on what is reality has remained unsolved up to this date..That is as far as I know..Reality, no matter how objective it sounds, is actually a matter of thinking of each individual..My own reality may be highly different compared to yours..

On the topic at hand, i certainly agree on the ENRICHING POWER of imagination in any relationship, and most especially in a romantic relationship, but it is not a single factor behind the success of a relationship nor does it play such an important role that it can actually make a relationship, especially a long distance relationship, work..

[splendid moonlight]

Lisud kaayo tubagon which one has more 'wisdom.' People can actually have a debate using purely adages because a lot of adages contradict.

To quote from a sitcom (Mad About You) I happened years ago, Helen Hunt's character was browsing around a bookstore looking for a book on pregnancy but was confused which one to pick as they were saying different things. Her husband's reply was "find out what you want to do and look for the book that says it's okay." Ironically I have to use this quote to drive a point, which is that basically people believe in the wisdom of adages based on what is more convenient for them to do so or what is more readily acceptable to their belief systems. As convenience is a major factor here, it is therefore hard to tell which one carries more wisdom. Before these adages came to exist, people already know certain things and only use adages to drive a point or make concrete an already existing belief.

Adages as tools: The adage "out of sight out of mind" is a tactical tool more than it is a romantic concept - I think this one has been wholly misinterpreted by the thread-starter. This adage is very practical to people you find disagreeable or vice versa. Kung naa kay ka away unya di ka gusto manumbag niya or ipasumbag siya, pwede na nimo balik balikon ug sulti to yourself as mantra. Some quotes can be used as tools but they are not necessarily truths. So again, this is a tactical tool more than it is a romantic concept.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so highschool (love this term, got it from an istoryan friend) for me. Sorry.

[chormatus]

Lisud kaayo tubagon which one has more 'wisdom.' People can actually have a debate using purely adages because a lot of adages contradict.

Adages as tools: The adage "out of sight out of mind" is a tactical tool more than it is a romantic concept - I think this one has been wholly misinterpreted by the thread-starter. This adage is very practical to people you find disagreeable or vice versa. Kung naa kay ka away unya di ka gusto manumbag niya or ipasumbag siya, pwede na nimo balik balikon ug sulti to yourself as mantra. Some quotes can be used as tools but they are not necessarily truths. So again, this is a tactical tool more than it is a romantic concept.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so highschool (love this term, got it from an istoryan friend) for me. Sorry.

The adages are not misleading. This was a survey conducted in North America. Curious, I tried whether the results will be similar with Filipinos. Source: Myers (1999) Social Psychology

[-CL-]

Out Of sight, Out Of cOntact....Out Of mind...(fOr nOw)

[Soul_Captive]

Adages as tools: The adage "out of sight out of mind" is a tactical tool more than it is a romantic concept - I think this one has been wholly misinterpreted by the thread-starter. This adage is very practical to people you find disagreeable or vice versa. Kung naa kay ka away unya di ka gusto manumbag niya or ipasumbag siya, pwede na nimo balik balikon ug sulti to yourself as mantra. Some quotes can be used as tools but they are not necessarily truths. So again, this is a tactical tool more than it is a romantic concept.

I bet to disagree..The concept of out of sight, out of mind is very much applicable to romantic situations..In psychology, the development of positive feelings, i.e. love, like, care and admiration, are highly affected by the presence of the subject of the said feelings..Although, long distance relationships may last, it is bounded by greater and different forms of trials considering the fact that one is not fully aware of the other person's conditions..More so, feelings may, in the long run, fade and be lost as an effect of the distance between two people..

[rodsky]

More so, feelings may, in the long run, fade and be lost as an effect of the distance between two people..

That is beginning to change. In a world where technology practically keeps us connected wherever we are in the globe, the only remaining challenge for couples would be to have true, simulated physical contact, for lack of physical contact is the only true reason why some couples define their relationship as "fading". By "true reason" I mean that given the various means nowadays of staying in touch with one another, communication, which is essential in a relationship, is constant--we no longer have the excuses of the bygone days when people had to wait for weeks or months for letters to be sent and delivered between two couples who are apart from one another. But indeed, people need touch/feel--and when the technology arrives when that too, will be simulated, then it will happen--the concept of "fading and losing" will gradually disappear. In the future, there will be no such thing as "fading due to distance" because that concept of "distance" will become seemingly virtual in itself.

-RODION

[ajol]

Absence makes the heart GO AND WANDER.....

[splendid moonlight]

I'm saying personally it is a tactical tool *more* than it is a romantic concept.

I'm not trying to argue against the importance of physical (including emotional) contact in a relationship. I'm trying to figure out exactly how the adage out of sight, out of mind came to mean if my love is not near, I love the one I'm near. Kay para nako, dili man na maoy akong nasabtan nga maoy iyang pasabot.

The adage, for some people, could mean they avoid LDR because they cannot bear being too far away from their partners - yes. Or it could mean like the way I understand it. It could mean someone has a short-term memory loss so he/she has to be constantly near his/her partner to remind the partner; dali ra kaayo siya ma out of sight out of mind gud. Pero if my love is not near I love the one I'm near?" It did not occur to me mao diay nay iyang pasabot; doesn't make sense to me. But okay I'll assume that's exactly what the adage means. Then I'd have to say it's not applicable to me. Even if yes importante ang physical contact but grass isn't always greener on the other side, whether it be on the next hill or seven mountains away.