cool operator's cool comedy!

[WinFlo]

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[WinFlo]

[WinFlo]

[WinFlo]

[WinFlo]

:mrgreen:

[WinFlo]

[cool_operator]

Wife's Photograph ***

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he asks the bartender to prepare another double martini.

After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and asks the bartender to bring another double martini.

The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The man replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."

[cool_operator]

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted is hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.

"You bastard," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

[cool_operator]

This blonde was sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So she made up her mind that she would show her husband that blondes really are smart. One day, while he was at work, she purchased a can of paint and decided to repaint the living room.

Her husband arrived home at 5:30 and smelled the distinctive odor of paint. He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He observed that she was wearing a ski jacket as well as a fur coat.

He went over to her and asked if she was OK. She acknowledged that she was.

He then asked what she was doing. She replied that she had set out to prove to him that not all blondes are dumb and, to do so, she had elected to paint the living room.

He then asked why she was wearing both a ski jacket and a fur coat.

Her response was that she had read the directions on the paint can and they said,

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

[cool_operator]

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.

The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says "It smells like semen."

The blonde reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this building?"