OT:
Yo, farmboy....have you seen the movie SUCKERPUNCH, your observation of the crazy people of our streets (you mentioned above) and the concept of the movie had an
eerie similarity, w/ LOBOTOMY as the final solution......Try watching that movie bro, (but refraining from being actually LOBOTOMIZED ok?

you lovelorn fool

)
OnT:
You mentioned you suffered long enough................long enough,
WOW.
Really? How old are you TS? (if you don't mind me asking

)....and how long have you suffered?
This might sound impossible ok? ...but if you can try telling your sad story to some
African child warrior.....I bet they would only shrug their shoulder and would willing exchange places with you, given the chance

.....
THEY have suffered long enough, and far worse.
Don't get me wrong TS..I'm not pouring hot water over you......I just want to help you see sense, just like most of the istoryans who responded to your thread
Move on bro, the pain will fade eventually.