Originally Posted by
ain
As painful as it is to think about, as Americans, we have to face the knowledge that zombies are out there. Every day, their numbers increase exponentially. Eventually, they will be numerous enough to walk out from the shadows and begin feeding on the flesh of innocent victims openly. Sadly, those bitten will also become zombies. When, not "if," that happens, you will need to know what to do to survive. This article will give you some helpful hints to survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
- 1
Find shelter. You need to find a place to hide that has both food and water as well as more than one exit (a bidet is optional). Of course, barricading yourself into a building is always a wonderful way to keep the zombies out. However, if they manage to break down your barricade, your secure fort turns into a very large tomb (or buffet depending on your point of view). - 2
Understand the type of zombies that you are facing. Up until recently, the vast majority of zombies was very unintelligent and slow moving. Then, in the 1980s, scientists began experimenting with the Zombification formula. They ended up creating zombies that were stronger, more durable, more intelligent and faster than any that were previously seen. With any luck, you will be facing the slow moving type that are easily outmaneuvered and killed. However, you may have the misfortune of encountering the newer type. If so, you need to be prepared for zombies that can outrun the average human being. Watch how they respond to injury. Many of the newer zombies display a certain, almost ghoulish regenerative ability. If you are facing a ghoul, avoid direct confrontation. They move much too quickly and are much too durable to stand and fight. - 3
Assess what you have to use. While it would be wonderful to have a pair of Mark XIX Desert Eagles or an M16 with the grenade launcher attachment during the apocalypse, this may not be an option for you. Sometimes, you have to make do with what you have available. For example, even a candlestick can be a lethal weapon if it is used to pierce a zombie's skull (brain). Aerosol and a road flare can make a pretty good torch if you're desperate enough to try it. Knives are good for close combat, but can leave you at a disadvantage against a large group. Improvise! I suggest using Molotov cocktails since they aren't very difficult to make. All you need is some oil, a glass jar and a flammable liquid. Fishing line works very well for decapitating someone. Remember, you have to think outside the box if you are to survive. - 4
Be faster than the slowest member of your group. It is not a happy thought but, most of the people that you know will not survive the struggle. There may come a time when only a few of you can make it out of a situation alive. I am not advocating that you sacrifice anyone. I am simply stating the obvious: the fastest runners stand the best chance of getting away. If you are a slow runner, your chances of survival are greatly reduced. As a preventative measure, you should monitor your speed now, before the apocalypse, and work on improving it. - 5
No ***...at least not for a while. I know that this comes as very disappointing news, but *** will have to be postponed for the greater good. While *** is a great stress reliever, it also diverts your attention. You may become so wrapped up in your partner that you fail to notice the warning signs: the creaking of a door, the cracking of glass, the moan that isn't coming from either of you. - 6
No drinking or drug use. Similar to ***, intoxication lowers your awareness of your surroundings. Alcohol and drugs are even more dangerous than *** because the chemical rush lasts significantly longer than a sexual act. With ***, you can stop at a moment's notice. With drinking and drugs, you are at the mercy of the chemicals. - 7
Conserve your weapons. If, by some miracle, you manage to get your hands on a gun, for the love of God save your ammo. The zombie virus spreads quickly. You're going to need all the bullets you have to survive. Here's a good rule of thumb, if you can't score a headshot, don't bother shooting at all. - 8
Wear thick clothing if at all possible. When you have on enough layers, you put a buffer zone between your skin and zombie's teeth. That turtleneck that you hate might end up saving your life. - 9
If all else fails, have a way to quickly take your own life. I know this seems opposed to the idea of surviving but, if you really don't want to become a member of the walking dead, you might have to...take matters into your own hands. If it comes down to it you need to weigh your options...death or undeath.
Nyahahaah sakto sad ni dah.. nice nice.
i bet nag research jud ka ani noh...
Reply With Quote
Posting Permissions
