I'm not really in the position to tell you what to do. I just want to share a story.
There was a man who blames himself for his wife's death and dresses up as a clown on his way to work everyday. The last time he saw his wife happy and laughing was the day before her death when they went to the carnival and got entertained by a clown.
Despite his good performance at work, somebody filed a lawsuit against him because of his manner of dressing. He got himself a lawyer hoping he could stay on being a clown, insisting he's not harming anybody. But after misbehaving in court and pissing the judge off in the process, he realized with the help of his lawyer that that wasn't the way his wife wanted him to live. And he slowly took off his wig and makeup.
As it turned out, the person who expedited the complaint against him was a coulrophobic, a condition characterized by an abnormal and exaggerated fear of clowns.
Sometimes in our grief (and not just when someone passes away), we hide in our shells. Not knowing that in the process, someone may get hurt. Your friends and family want to see you well. So does your mother.
You're in a rut, and it's natural to think of her. Think one step at a time. Fix areas in your life that you can fix now. You're not Super Woman, though, so you might want to distance yourself from other areas that will take longer or harder to fix especially now with your frame of mind. You can get back to them when you're better. For now, think of what's important and what will directly affect your future.
That being said, I hope I can follow my own advice; I need some fixing myself. God bless!