Haaay Badtrip!

[Blackjellybean27]

@Blackjellybean27

Sis, lisud au predicament, and your answers narrows down the possibilities...and you are right you are not being selfish...rather I see some immaturity with the guy.

I think you must show him what you are actually worth, and one way is finding a place you can stay.

I asked question number 1 thinking that it was your idea but if your partner totally supports it then it rules out the possibility that he may be trying to introduce you as a mother figure to them. Apparently, both of you have communication problems, you don't handle major problems with letters, its gives too much room for excuses and misunderstanding. Talk it out properly, if you need to talk to your partner like a kid explaining every detail then you should.

A few more questions...

How active is the mother in attending to their children?

Are you totally sure both of them are NOT communicating?

Can you not be promoted to at least Girlfriend?

Where are the children staying if not sleeping over at your place?

thanks for the advice bro...

yes lisod jud sya kaau. regarding the letter, i wrote it in desperation nalng. we already talked about this in the past, face to face... i try to make him understand several times na... so i thought i better write it down in paper, in black and white for him to understand me better..

*about the mom, hmmm, well she hired a yaya and a tutor for them. and she doesnt work by the way.. so hmmm ikaw na bahala assess how active is she in attending to them.. i guess active in a way, i guess she's a good mother... i know na she doesnt make pabaya with kids... i've nothing bad to say about her mothering... not just a very good wife, obviously...

*oh, they communicate. and i don't really mind if they do. i know the only reason they communicate is because of the kids, i know that for a fact.... it's me and her who don't talk to each other, she doesn't even know me....

*as of the moment, i choose not to be promoted as the girlfriend. we haven't talked about this for a long time now... and the reason why i dont want to be known as the girlfriend is because i keep thinking kng unsa kaha ma feel sa mga kids na ang mama nila naay bf, unya ang papa na pod.. i come from a broken family, mao na ma understand ko kng unsa kaha ma feel nila.. i feel they might feel "abandoned"... (hay, see what i mean, i keep thinking about his kids gani and how they would feel..)

*they're living with their mother of course.... and i think i mentioned in my past post, that they don't live far from us.. it's very easy for my bf to see his kids ANYTIME..

[Klave]

*as of the moment, i choose not to be promoted as the girlfriend. we haven't talked about this for a long time now... and the reason why i dont want to be known as the girlfriend is because i keep thinking kng unsa kaha ma feel sa mga kids na ang mama nila naay bf, unya ang papa na pod.. i come from a broken family, mao na ma understand ko kng unsa kaha ma feel nila.. i feel they might feel "abandoned"... (hay, see what i mean, i keep thinking about his kids gani and how they would feel..)

*they're living with their mother of course.... and i think i mentioned in my past post, that they don't live far from us.. it's very easy for my bf to see his kids ANYTIME..

To start things off...

I think it is about time to talk about it again. Do you think as long as you don't say something they won't find out? Even though they are kids they still have enough comprehension to know that you have a relationship with their father. You are having a baby, when it goes out, the secret goes out with it. Take advantage of the sleepovers, get to know the kids, you don't have to be motherly, you can just be whoever you want to be. I understand you don't want them to feel abandoned but aren't you abandoning them now, avoiding them by claiming to be just a stranger, refusing to take part in this roller coaster ride they are in right now. You are a part of them now, being their father's girlfriend. When that baby comes, mapun-an napud ilang insecurities.

So acknowledge gyud nako, imu kalisod ron, lisud gyud au. Hopefully makaya lang nimo tanan. You may be in for a world of hurt.

[PORNSTAR]

ay nahug ka sa luwag miga!

wa mana ayo imu ka live-in ky irresponsable mana mao nagka buwag cya sa iya asawa saona!

unya karon, ikaw na pud nabiktima. tnawa ra unsa na ky way batasan tawhana. saon taman na nga nabuntis naman ka.

[crstina]

bitaw,
try to open it up and discuss it again
if dli man gani mresolve the way you wanted it to be

then i think it will be good time to think about you and the health of your baby
look for another place where you can sleep, sleep like the way pregnant women do

sad man ni decision,
pero i would rather think for my baby's health rather than the me doing self pitty..

[monrose29]

direct to the point nalang ko sis bahalag masuko ka nako....

kapila naman na ninyo istoryahe? syaro ng lakiha di kasabot ako gali laki ko di pa gyud ko buntis 4-5 hours sleep deli gyud enough sa mga night shift...

unya sugot lang ka ingon ana-on ka niya? sus intawn nimo sis malo-oy ka sa imong self oi.. ayaw palabi og hatag og favor anang imong bf.... buntis pa gyud ka..wa kay saktong pahulay.... ka hilas niya mo ingon nga selfish ka ga matulog nalang gali ka sa sala tungod kay na-ay iyang mga kids... haller.. wake up oi...maka lagot sad ka usahay ngano sugot ka anang nga set-up....

grabe pod wa sya ka huna2x anang gikapoy ka and ganahan ka ma maka tulog og tarong or sobra-an lang ka sa kabo-otan...i dont know unsa history sa inyo relationship knowing nga imong bf na-ay kids i dont think sakto nga nga idea nga mo sleep over sila sa imong place and inocente ka ayo kung unsay inyong tino-od nga relationship..walay asu nga makumkum sis... asa mana padung inyong relationship? karon na buntis naka.. makasabot na baya na ang 10 years old... inig gawas anang bata-a unsa may reaction unya ana sa kids sa imong bf?

love na kong love wala koy karapatan mo husga sa imong bf pero sa iyang gipakita nmo and sa imong mga gi antos nga problema karon kong mag padayon kang ingon ana lo-oy ka ayo ka....

love your self sis oi deli tanan time mo sabot nalang ta permi kay love nato ang tawo ang resulta na no-on kong mo reklamo ta ingnon dayon ta og na usab coz a anad naman nga mosabot nalang ta permi bisag supak sa atong kaugalingon.. ipakita sad nga dapat ka e respetar deli isip usa ka GF kun deli isip usa ka tawo nga masakitan..malain..dunay kasing2x...

charot.. hehhe bitaw sis.. ayaw palabi sa imong ka buotan...para deli pod ta abusaran og ma ayo...

[kishniquin]

bitaw i agree gud bro dili nana uso ron and to be honest agi naman diay ni ninyo both of you have past relationships nah why didn't it worked out? nya karon kani nasad i mean based from both experiences you already know what will be the consequences right......nya sis sakto gud you should love your self first importante kaayo nah ron sa imo situation ma luoy ka sa imo anak oi kung mag cge ka depress ingn ana nya wala paka sakto pahuway usa pa mau nana height sa inyo relationship mau nani time na masukod nah nimo og unsa gud ka para sa iya.....Nya sis lisod au mkaig kompetencya sa usa sad ka responsibilidad dili man niya matarong og dala iya mga anak regarding sa situation ninyo unsa nalang kaha sa imo......Come to think about sis what most important to you now its only a matter of choices and sometimes dili tanan choices pwede nato mkuha. Nya mau rasad way na ma realize sa usa ka tao unsa sad importante para nya.

[Blackjellybean27]

ay nahug ka sa luwag miga!

wa mana ayo imu ka live-in ky irresponsable mana mao nagka buwag cya sa iya asawa saona!

unya karon, ikaw na pud nabiktima. tnawa ra unsa na ky way batasan tawhana. saon taman na nga nabuntis naman ka.

we've known each other before cla nag buwag sa asawa and i know it wasn't his fault that they separated. I'm just getting facts straight here okay.

bitaw,
try to open it up and discuss it again
if dli man gani mresolve the way you wanted it to be

then i think it will be good time to think about you and the health of your baby
look for another place where you can sleep, sleep like the way pregnant women do

sad man ni decision,
pero i would rather think for my baby's health rather than the me doing self pitty..

i'll have to see this weekend if it's gonna happen again. i already laid out my feelings to him and i'll make an exception sa last weekend k gikan cla outing and all, so i'll push that aside muna.. yes, i know i'm once again giving too much of myself by trying to understand pero cge lang, like i said we'll see this weekend.

as for moving out, hahaiz. this is the hard part.

direct to the point nalang ko sis bahalag masuko ka nako....

kapila naman na ninyo istoryahe? syaro ng lakiha di kasabot ako gali laki ko di pa gyud ko buntis 4-5 hours sleep deli gyud enough sa mga night shift...

unya sugot lang ka ingon ana-on ka niya? sus intawn nimo sis malo-oy ka sa imong self oi.. ayaw palabi og hatag og favor anang imong bf.... buntis pa gyud ka..wa kay saktong pahulay.... ka hilas niya mo ingon nga selfish ka ga matulog nalang gali ka sa sala tungod kay na-ay iyang mga kids... haller.. wake up oi...maka lagot sad ka usahay ngano sugot ka anang nga set-up....

grabe pod wa sya ka huna2x anang gikapoy ka and ganahan ka ma maka tulog og tarong or sobra-an lang ka sa kabo-otan...i dont know unsa history sa inyo relationship knowing nga imong bf na-ay kids i dont think sakto nga nga idea nga mo sleep over sila sa imong place and inocente ka ayo kung unsay inyong tino-od nga relationship..walay asu nga makumkum sis... asa mana padung inyong relationship? karon na buntis naka.. makasabot na baya na ang 10 years old... inig gawas anang bata-a unsa may reaction unya ana sa kids sa imong bf?

love na kong love wala koy karapatan mo husga sa imong bf pero sa iyang gipakita nmo and sa imong mga gi antos nga problema karon kong mag padayon kang ingon ana lo-oy ka ayo ka....

love your self sis oi deli tanan time mo sabot nalang ta permi kay love nato ang tawo ang resulta na no-on kong mo reklamo ta ingnon dayon ta og na usab coz a anad naman nga mosabot nalang ta permi bisag supak sa atong kaugalingon.. ipakita sad nga dapat ka e respetar deli isip usa ka GF kun deli isip usa ka tawo nga masakitan..malain..dunay kasing2x...

charot.. hehhe bitaw sis.. ayaw palabi sa imong ka buotan...para deli pod ta abusaran og ma ayo...

mao lageh, i am posting my problem here. because honestly i get confused kng tinood bah na selfish ko, k in my own opinion i am not being selfish. but i just want to hear the different opinions k basin nag think lang ko na d ko selfish, unya selfish diay ko.
ma confuse ko because why is it that our housemate said na "ako nlng dapat mag give way".. i don't know if she said that to appease my bf, or what... and what hurts the most k he tends to talk about me behind my back, manglibak sya nako... pero d sya mu talk ug tarong...
ako never jud ko manglibak niya. i only told one friend about this, and of course naturally nag side sya nko... i don't know why he won't talk to me but will talk to other people...
yup i know kalagot jud attitude nako, k ever since i'm really like this. i try to understand the way people act, and forget to understand myself in the process.

bitaw i agree gud bro dili nana uso ron and to be honest agi naman diay ni ninyo both of you have past relationships nah why didn't it worked out? nya karon kani nasad i mean based from both experiences you already know what will be the consequences right......nya sis sakto gud you should love your self first importante kaayo nah ron sa imo situation ma luoy ka sa imo anak oi kung mag cge ka depress ingn ana nya wala paka sakto pahuway usa pa mau nana height sa inyo relationship mau nani time na masukod nah nimo og unsa gud ka para sa iya.....Nya sis lisod au mkaig kompetencya sa usa sad ka responsibilidad dili man niya matarong og dala iya mga anak regarding sa situation ninyo unsa nalang kaha sa imo......Come to think about sis what most important to you now its only a matter of choices and sometimes dili tanan choices pwede nato mkuha. Nya mau rasad way na ma realize sa usa ka tao unsa sad importante para nya.

thanks for your opinion sis. my friend said, it's hard jud daw ang situation 'cause we are dealing with kids here. and aside from that, d pa jud kids ko. so usually k misinterpret sa mga people, especially him i guess... pero i already explained my side, that would have been enough. i'm finding it hard to deal with this every single weekend... i just wish he would stop being selfish and see it my way...
kasabot gani mo na d ko kaano ano, sya dapat kasabot pod nako... but it's hard to see things my way if he refuses to understand me.

[Blackjellybean27]

To start things off...

I think it is about time to talk about it again. Do you think as long as you don't say something they won't find out? Even though they are kids they still have enough comprehension to know that you have a relationship with their father. You are having a baby, when it goes out, the secret goes out with it. Take advantage of the sleepovers, get to know the kids, you don't have to be motherly, you can just be whoever you want to be. I understand you don't want them to feel abandoned but aren't you abandoning them now, avoiding them by claiming to be just a stranger, refusing to take part in this roller coaster ride they are in right now. You are a part of them now, being their father's girlfriend. When that baby comes, mapun-an napud ilang insecurities.

So acknowledge gyud nako, imu kalisod ron, lisud gyud au. Hopefully makaya lang nimo tanan. You may be in for a world of hurt.

Thanks for your opinion bro.. I don't force myself on them, never will..
lisod jud sya, it's like dealing with a horse with blinders.. doesn't see anything around but straight ahead lang..

[monrose29]

ako pa nimo mag lain mo kanang kamo ra duha walay lain mo ipon...

[Klave]

Thanks for your opinion bro.. I don't force myself on them, never will..
lisod jud sya, it's like dealing with a horse with blinders.. doesn't see anything around but straight ahead lang..

Isn't it fate/circumstance forcing all of you together?

Besides you can take the easy way out, you can completely get away from the kids by living on your own, not together with you partner. You can tell him, you can sleep there (your new home) if you like. But the point is dili naka dependent niya. Though practically, I'm basing it on my own living conditions, mahal gyud mangita og lain. But to get away from the unnecessary stress, unya dili naka mag sige balhin2x sa imo stuff...

More power, you'll need it.