Originally Posted by
Snowfly
This is a copy of my reply to another thread about Seaman, I send this coz the issue is almost the same. I hope its okay lang.
The bad impressions about seaman started a long long time ago when the contract was still 1yr. or more. Those seaman nga extravagant maong walay pondo or those naay project to accomplish mo extend pa gyud para naay take home.
The issue of infidelity depends on the person himself,whether you are a seaman or not or you are a wife of a seaman or not? Kadaghan nga broken families nga dili mga seaman ug dinhi ra sa Phils. nag trabaho diba?
As far as I know,not more than 10 months nalang ang term of contract sa mga seaman nga gamay ra ug rank, and for the officers 4-6months the most. There are cases wherein they can reach 1 yr. esp. if the shipping agency cannot find a reliever for them.
About "women" in every port, it is not true to all , bec. it all depends of the person and the kind of ship they are in. In a chemical, product or oil tanker ships for example,the port is too far from the city "women" are not allowed to go on board.bec. the cargoes are highly volatile and or dangerous to ones health if not wearing the proper gears.
Since the time nga naay nakit an nga filipina entertainer nga nag lutaw sa dagat in Singapore and believed to be murdered by a " seaman ", naa nay law that prohibits visitors to go on board any international ships. Dili na maka sayon sayon ug saka ang visitors w/o proper documents and official business permits. They must pass series of port officials and security guards for inspections.
Well, am sure seamen are already wiser these days because they have to undergo pre departure orientations and management crises seminars every time they join any vessel.Some agencies also give lectures to their wives or families. And if we are going to compare them w/ land job workers nga 2 yrs. or more ang contract abroad, the vulnerability of temptation is totally very different since seamen cannot go out anytime as they pleases,they experienced long travel that even lasted for more than 30 days yet it would form part of the hectic schedule when at port, one can only go out for a very limited period of time if he is not on duty and if they got the chance, thats to "UNWIND".
Drink and dine? or Pay,Play and Go, otherwise known as Hit and run. Majority of seamen w/ 2nd families are just here in the Phils. very few lang na ang toa sa lain nga countries bec. kalain lain man nga countries ang ilang adtoan, so dili sila maka permanente. Those who have 2nd families here chose to do it to compensate whats lacking from his ist family.
We should not condemn all seaman for this matter because not like anyone else they offered their lives at sea and away from their loved ones just to give their family a better future and they are a boost to our country's economy too.
Being the wife of a seaman, is a very tough job,she must do almost everything, washing clothes, taking care of the kids and the home, cooking,sewing, teaching the kids how to read and write, attending school activities alone, driving to and from school. plumber, electrician,gardener, etc. one has to balance everything, being a mother and father to the children at the same time. Lisod jud most esp. if the kids are in the adolescent stage.
To those faithful wives, I know that there isn't an hour in her life without his husband in mind, they are a lot more scared than they would admit of losing him one day because of his husbands work and the distance that separates. There are times that they feel jealous but just don't want to go into details of arguing about these things all over again when his already home bec. they have no evidence at all,and they don't have enough time to discuss about it at a limited period of time coz she wanted to live a peaceful life w/ him.
Money wise, it is very true nga mas naka lamang jud ang mga seaman or OFW workers, but it all depends on how they handled their finances in the right place. There is always a social cost to it and one should be ready.
Nowadays, a lot of people fear of KARMA, whether we are to indulge or not it is our prerogative, none of us would want to see our family crumbling into pieces like others just bec. of a one night stand, diba?Our choice must be something based on a solid reasons and a balance of feelings.the much awaited guidance comes from the Lord if we will ask for it.
My husband's work entails him to be away from us for months, I fought these fears by telling myself i am the only one in his heart.I tried to make our house a home worth coming and make him feel he is wanted, needed and loved. I tried a hundred possibilities on how i can be w/ him all the time and I was able to achieve it. He lets me join w/ him halfway in almost all his trips....sooo there must be an effort for both.
Lack of time is already part of our journey as husband and wife but it has also shown us what is precious....our love for each other, our family and the value of hard earned money.
To TS, If you have already found the man of your dreams, the love of your life, whether he is a seaman or not, we always have to climb the highest mountains and swim the deepest sea if you really wanted your marriage to work.
I received a gift from a friend on my wedding day. He personally wrote the saying and box framed it ,,,,,,and it says.....
" Love knows no bounds, nor hurt and pity, it doesn't give reasons, it just feels and understands, with true love, everything is wonderfully beautiful including sacrifices, pain, and self denial."
My dear,,,,,,the choice is yours,,,,,cross your fingers when you get there.
Wish you luck!
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