10 Facts I've Learned About Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer:
1. If you use akimbo shotguns, you are a douchebag.
They’re so overpowered, it’s literally a glitch in the game, and every time I see a shaggy sniper sprinting around Overpass with these, I want to reach through the TV and beat his head like a snare drum with each one of his shotguns.
2. If you got a tactical nuke, you are either cheating or camping.
Look, if a 25-0 kill run and subsequent tactical nuke occurred once in a blue moon, I might be less skeptical, but when a solid 10% of my games end this way, I start to get suspicious. This is part of the primary argument that most people make when they say that
COD rewards camping. And it does. It clearly does. Really the only way to get these high level killstreaks, outside of being virtual Jack Bauer, is to sit in one dark corner, and quietly pick people off all game with some sort of silenced weapon. If you are moving around the map, the chance of someone not killing you randomly from behind at least a few times is almost non-existent. Fortunately, for campers, this is why corners were invented.
3. Scrambler is the worst perk in the game.
They should just call it the “Hey guys, I’m coming!” perk. Once your radar goes fuzzy, you know to be on the lookout for an enemy very nearby. Sure it masks their shots, but if they can see to shoot at you, one of you should be dead before it should even matter. And when he’s using this perk, it’s usually him.
4. If you stay at level 70 forever, you are a douchebag.
Sure, dick around with your newfound AK for a few games, but this is why Prestige mode was invented. It’s just lame to permantly have all of the best guns and equipment ever all the time, so I’d say after about 10-20 games, it’s time to move on.
5. Sniping is lame, because I can’t do it.
There is nothing more frustrating in this game to me than A) being sniped, or B) trying to snipe. This is not the games fault per se, but god damn do I hate it. I hate click to breathe, I hate no one-hit kills (most of the time), I just hate all of it.
6. Killstreak rewards are the most unfair thing in the world, until you get one.
Killstreak rewards are kind of bullshit, let’s face it. It’s like if you were playing
Super Smash Bros. and your friend is kicking your ass so badly, the game sees it fit to reward him with a giant crate full of hammer, hearts and stars dropped directly in his lap. It makes about the same amount of sense in
Call of Duty, as terror is raining down from the skies in the form of a Chopper or AC-130 being piloted by a man who already has 15 unanswered kills under his belt. BUT, when that man is you? It’s one of the most fun things in the world. If I was better at this game, I think the trade off would be worth it.
7. The riot shield is fun for a grand total of three minutes.
I’m sure there are a multitude of advanced riot shield team tactics, but it’s more or less useless for the average player. I’ve so far never seen anyone make it through an entire game playing as a shielder, as they always end up annoyed and change class by the end. When I first started playing the game, I used it and got about seven kills in a minute because people didn’t know how the hell to kill me and I beat everyone’s ass down. That was short lived however, as everyone soon discovered the dreaded “step to the side” technique that the shield doesn’t have an answer for.
8. If you use the grenade launcher rifle attachment as your primary weapon, you are a douchebag.
It’s not skill if you have Danger Close on so when you launch a grenade if it lands within a football field from someone, it kills them in one hit. Sure, there’s a little bit of trajectory physics involved, but it’s mainly for people who don’t have the hand eye to shoot people with a red dot. But yes, this is coming from the guy who doesn’t have the hand eye to shoot people with the sniper scope.
9. There are far too many ways to make your profile reference weed in this game.
It’s one thing if you make your Gamertag ChronicBluntman. It’s another if you make your clan tag 420. But did Infinity Ward really need to include what seems like a dozen Callsigns that reference weed? “High Times” “Blunt Trauma” ha. ha. It’s funny until EVERY SINGLE fourteen year old playing thinks he’s being cool by using it.
10. The most satisfying feeling in any video game ever is successfully killing someone with a throwing knife.
In all my years of gaming, I don’t think there’s anything that feels quite this gratifying.