i would be a downright hypocrite if i say that i'm not having the time of my life. in fact, at this point in time, i may be part of the luckier half of the world, enjoying the benefits of a new love and reuniting with old friends. but despite everything that i'm having right now, i still feel afraid and hesitant. it's like my world has stiffened, and it's getting harder for me to open up to new people everyday.
the best feeling in the world is being in love. yes, to others it may seem oddly unfair and wicked, especially to those who've been unlucky, but the most amazing thing about love is that you defy personal limits and boundaries you never knew existed.
you go that one extra mile for that special person, even though you've probably journeyed more than you ever could. and what's more fascinating about it is the feeling of contentment when you see the look on your love's face, just that sparkle in his eyes makes every single effort bathed with your blood, sweat and tears worth it.
love varies. it all depends on the person experiencing it. others prefer to flaunt it, and display their affection for the whole world to see. some just choose to sit in a quiet room, gaze into each other's eyes and hold hands. and quite a number struggle to get even a small hint of acknowledgment from the one they adore.
but you couldn't blame me if i say i'm terrified of the future. as much as i'm living the life i've always dreamed about, i can't help but wonder, until when?
what if i've become too attached to this happy world that when the wheel turns again, i can't cope up anymore?
i've been through enough. you could say, i've been to hell and back. the last two quarters of my 2008 has been almost a fight for survival. there came a time when all i could do was wake up in the morning, only to find out it was still eight, then i'll go back to sleep. it did that every time i woke up during the day, so that at night, i could party with my friends and get dead-drunk from too much alcohol. my eyes always hurt, because at times when i'm alone with my thoughts, tears would pour all over again, even when i thought i've let them all out. i was on the brink of depression, and it took a lot of courage to wake up from that nightmare and take a step forward to recovery.
now, i'm blissfully in love with a guy i never would have come to know if i didn't open myself to him during this summer. i could perfectly say that he's probably one of the best guys there is. and i'm awfully lucky that he's just as crazy about me as i am about him. though i know it's too early to tell, but i can see him in my future, and he plays a very significant role in it. but who knows what'll happen, right?
Others can say this might not turn out the way i'm hoping it would but they don't know us the way we do, and they have no idea how much i trust him, despite the distance, in spite of his controversial past. "so get used to it, 'cause that's how it's gon' be," cassie sings in her song "keep on loving me". i'm in love. and this time, it's all real.
i can't bear to think about what may happen or something would just ruin this too-good-to-be-true moment for me. i'm tired of getting hurt, and i'm finished with feeling sorry for myself. but if one day, God decides this wonderful guy isn't meant for me, then i never wanna fall in love again.
-=.kc'09.=-
PS:
@ gARN - this is the part 2 na. haha. feel nako bati ang pagkasulat kay gadali ko.. haha. just arrived from my flight ^_^
just a heads up for other pips who's not familiar with my threads.
naa man gud koy thread na "the one that got away". then i decided to make a thread to tell my followers na naka relate sad (haha. unsa ni?twitter? lols. just kidding) as to how it all started and mao na, i've made a thread entitled "my Plan (ranttings of my heart)" which is the part 1 of the story and makes the first thread the part 3. and para makumpleto ang trilogy series. haha. gahimo ko ug part 2.
so run down...
Part 1 -
https://www.istorya.net/forums/love-i...-my-heart.html
Part 2 - Then I Never Then I Never Wana Fall in Love Again (uhmmm.. will you?)
Part 3 -
https://www.istorya.net/forums/love-i...t-reading.html
i do hope all of you will enjoy reading it and tell me as well as to how you feel....
Then I Never Wana Fall in Love Again (uhmmm.. will you?)
Originally Posted by maitoots
pero...everytime na'y chance to fall in love,, my rational mind takes over my heart..so if i think of those things, the chances of getting together, feasibility ingon pa, maybe family approval, etc....mu.back out nako daun hahaha so, unless that "somebody" comes who can sweep me off my feet....i wont fall... :P
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