Religion
* Taoism: Shit happens.
* Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
* Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
* Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
* Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
* Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
* Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
* Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
* Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
* Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
* Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
* Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
* Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
* Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
* Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
* Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
* Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
* Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
* Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
* Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
* Creationism: God made all shit.
* Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
* Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
* Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
* Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
* Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
* Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
* Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
* Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
* Mormonism #3: Crap happens (you can’t say shit in Utah)
* Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
* Wiccan #2: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
* Wiccan #3: The Goddess makes shit happen
* Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
* Scientology #2: All this happens to be shit
* Scientology #3: If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you
* Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock Knock, Shit happens.
* Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
* Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
* Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
* Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
* Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
* Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.
* Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
* Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
* Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
* Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
* Agnostic #4: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
* Agnostic #5: How can we KNOW if shit happens?
* Agnostic #6: You can't prove any of this shit
* Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
* Atheism: What shit?
* Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
* Amish: Shit is good for the soil.
* Amish #2: This modern shit is worthless.
* Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
* Bahaism: Why do you keep shitting on us?
* Baptist: You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
* Baptist #2: We'll wash the shit right off you.
* Southern Baptist: Shit will happen. Praise the lord.
* Charismatic Catholicism: Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
* Mysticism: This is really weird shit.
* Orthodox: St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.
* Greek Orthodox: Shit happens, usually in three's.
* Shamanism: Whoaa...Holy Shit!
* Shintoism: You inherit the shit of your ancestors
* Sikhism: Leave our shit alone.
* Televangelism: Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening.
* Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
* Voodoo #2: Let's stick some pins in this shit!
* Voodoo #3: This shit's gonna get you
* Pagan: Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Philosophies, etc
* Nihilism: No shit.
* Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
* Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
* Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
* Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
* Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
* Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
* Darwinism: This shit was once food.
* Capitalism: That's MY shit.
* Communism: It's everybody's shit.
* Feminism: Men are shit.
* Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
* Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
* Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
* Environmentalism: Shit is biodegradable.
* Marxism: The rich shit exploits the poor shit, but deep down all shit is alike.
* Masochism: Do shit to me!
* Sadism: I will shit on you!
* Realism: I think I need to take a shit.
* Surrealism: Fish!
* Avoidanceism: With all this happening, I think I'll go shit.
* Fatalism: Oh shit, it's going to happen!
Personalities
* Einstein: Shit is Relative.
* Heisenberg: Shit happened, we just don't know where
* Joseph McCarthy: Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?
* M.L. King: Black shit and white shit CAN coexist...
* Freud: Shit is a phallic symbol.
* Thales: Earth, Air, Fire, and Shit
* Epicurus: If shit happens, enjoy it
* Socrates: What is shit? Why is shit?
* Aristotle: The essence of shittyness…
* Archimedes: Hmmm… why doesn’t this shit float?
* Archimedes #2: Give me a place to stand and I’ll move any piece of shit
* DesCartes: I think, so why am I in this shit?
* DesCartes #2: I shit, therefore I am
* Leibniz (as interpreted by Voltaire): The best of all possible shit in this world made for shit
* Thoreau: I wanted to live deliberately… to suck all the shit out of life
* Sartre: Shit is meaningless
* Sartre #2: What is shit, anyway?
* Godel: It can be proved that it cannot be proved that shit happens
Originally Posted by kenjoenue
Jesus Christ came down to earth 2000 years ago to save mankind not to bring religion...well,i don't want to argue with you ky mkasala noon ta basin bati na noon ang mangawas sa ato mouth..so better hilom nlang.ko and praise the Lord instead of arguing...God Bless...
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