6-Day Poetry Scratch Pad Challenge

[beyee]

hala mana ang haiku?

[beyee]

leaving me hanging
by Beyee

begging to be loved
i cry like a child for you
in the dark i bleed

here i am waiting
the door would open willing
wishing and hoping

weeks and months gone by
no sign of you nor a glimpse
could this be the end?

05.02.09

[Sol_Itaire]

@Evening Spark thanks for the feedback. much appreciated (newbie 'poet' here)

and here's my entry for Acrostic Poetry:


Heartache
by:Solitaire

Have you ever tasted the bitter pill of crying
Every time, for some time?
Absentmindedly staring at the wall, not knowing
Rivers of tears have fallen.
Thoughts of the past oppress, dashed hopes of the future overwhelm
All’s left is the present’s pain.
Comfort is the time you are asleep, albeit sobbing.
How will you navigate this long, dark tunnel whose
End you’re struggling to fathom?

[hypocrisy]

I need you
-hypocrisy-

We sit down and talk
As i listen to your mourns
That you needed him

Tears fall down like rain
As i wipe them off your cheek
You quiver, shiver

I grasp tight your hands
I hugged you as tight and close
We stayed for a while

We held as i dream
My own tears fall secretly
I need you! Wake up!

[hypocrisy]

"heartache"
-hypocrisy-

Hearing voices of past
Experiences all around,
As blurry eyes filled with tears
Recapture the moments.
Trying to fathom the whole paradox,
At the same time fighting the pain,
Crying to scream off the
Hallucinations that linger
Even when among others, this feeling of loneliness.

[Evening Spark]

Tyburn

A six line poem consisting of 2, 2, 2, 2, 9, 9 syllables.

The first four lines rhyme and are all descriptive words. The last two lines rhyme and incorporate
the first, second, third, and fourth lines as the 5th through 8th syllables.


Example:

Inspiration

Sweetest
Warmest
Happiest
Prettiest
Shining in the sweetest, warmest face
There in lives the happiest, prettiest race.

[Evening Spark]

leaving me hanging
by Beyee

begging to be loved
i cry like a child for you
in the dark i bleed

here i am waiting
the door would open willing
wishing and hoping

weeks and months gone by
no sign of you nor a glimpse
could this be the end?

05.02.09

Hi Beyee:

Is this your first attempt with Haiku?
As I read it, I felt the strong feelings
running through the verses. It displayed
a longing for someone in much pain.

The readers can appreciate the
thoughts. There's no mistake in your
syllabication counts, all is well for that
category.

I would like to offer you a suggestion.
Although the final decision is yours:

the door would open willing -

How about this:

my heart waits for you only

or something like that idea...

You have a great piece here.

-spark-

[beyee]

LIES
by Beyee

Living in your so-called 'sugar-coated' half-truths
Imaginative and so believable, with your
Evil eyes piercing through my soul
So painful and searing through my heart

Led me to this sick cycle, you trapped me
In constant fear and doubt
Ever wanting to break free from
Someone so cunning as you

Let go of me
I beg of you, please don't
Ever lure me into your trap again
So my heart can mend


05.05.09

[beyee]

@ SparK

thanks for the suggestion, it sure sounds even better and has the "longing" sound to it too... thnx soo much for "sparking" my interest in poetry again hehehe...

i did some haikus ages ago but I never thought I could find my muse again in this forum... Thanks so much SparK

-Bey

[Sol_Itaire]

LIES
by Beyee

Living in your so-called 'sugar-coated' half-truths
Imaginative and so believable, with your
Evil eyes piercing through my soul
So painful and searing through my heart

Led me to this sick cycle, you trapped me
In constant fear and doubt
Ever wanting to break free from
Someone so cunning as you

Let go of me
I beg of you, please don't
Ever lure me into your trap again
So my heart can mend


05.05.09

I like this ha

@Evening Spark
don't you think we all have intense emotions here? thanks for this exercise...ari nalang ko magpahungaw hhehe