Stupid Questions with Smart Answers

[lilfries]

---

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
________________________________________
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
________________________________________
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
_______________________________________________
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
_______________________________________________
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
______________________________________________
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
______________________________________________
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
______________________________________________
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
__________________________________________________ __________
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
__________________________________________________ __________
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
______
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
______
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
______
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

[AlienMagic]

Because George still had the axe in is hand....hahaha

[KASAAC]

WAHAHAHA nice one....cool stupid questions with smart answers cool

[iRviNe]

ahaha ahaka sa last part oh..

[joshua_loquias]

nice bro........

[ditto_cheeky]

hahaha nice

[c_cebrecus]

pretty ugly... nice

[inchit]

wahahaha hilarious.. ka funny wui.. esp. yung teacher and also about the patient

[k9]

Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

hahaha

[Roel Quejada]

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
________________________________________
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
________________________________________
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
_______________________________________________
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
_______________________________________________
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
______________________________________________
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
______________________________________________
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
______________________________________________
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
__________________________________________________ __________
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
__________________________________________________ __________
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
______
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
______
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
______
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_______
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

The 'questions' don't sound stupid and the 'answes' don't sound that smart either. Mao man kini'y ginatawag nga "pinilosopo".