Ask me Any question about life

[Soul Doctor]

i have a question its all about my life and in my future.. my problem now is my father.

1. why my father whatever plans i have iya mn ko controlon. even sa ako lovelife.

dili ko makahimo og ako rang decesion kay mag apil2x siya. dapat siya ang masunod which is i dont like. i am old enough to stand alone.
tnan nku boyfriends naa siyay comment nga dli maayo.

i can stand alone and i want to prove him that i can do it.

please help me soul doctor, i believe you na ma clear ako huna2xa sa imu tubag.

Ashleh thanks for your confidence in my answers.
Assuming you are a girl on her "right" age.

There are different kind of fathers.
And there are different kinds of parents.
And parents have different ways of dealing with their children (young or old).
There are reasons why controlon niya imong lovelife

(1) maybe because you yourself has not shown that you can choose responsibly by yourself.
Meaning, wala siyay salig sa imong pagpili og uyab.
Fathers are like water filters.
They are men and they know how men operates.
It is to your advantage when fathers "filters" your boyfriends.
They can see through a person's facade.
Girls just look for the face value and the potentials, fathers has "men" instincts and can see deeper things.

I can not explain it better but by giving my own experience as a father.
I too have a twenty year old daughter.
It may be a different situation,
but I hope it can give you an idea of how some father thinks.

For me, young women should do things at the right time.
If you are still studying, wala jud dapat boyfriends.
So fathers (like me) will, conveniently, find faults in your boyfriends-
simply because he did not want you to have one yet.

That's how I see it.
Why? Because in Schooling, walay hormones involved.
When you touch your book or notebook, you won't feel anything.
But when you touch a boy or boyfriend, its a different story.
So, Between studying and boys, I put my bet on boys.
Meaning you would rather be with your boyfriend than with your books.
So, your studies will eventually take the backseat.
And your "studies" is most important thing (though you may not know it yet) at this part of your life.

[Soul Doctor]

gusto ko ni soul doctor kay payter kaau og mga tubag.....

ma clear gyud imu huna2x.

Fathers only looks out for the good of their daughters.
I hope you could see that.

Understand that we are only looking out for your future.
Women and mothers are only concerned with the "NOW", and "what do we have for dinner?".
But, fathers see farther than that.

[ditch_azeroth]

parallel talk lang gamay - that's why most sensible daughters end up marrying the "right man" (the right man being somebody who closely resembles their father's personality).

[Soul Doctor]

Now back to my daughter's story.
She is 20 now.
She's on her fourth year fine arts major advertising course.

When she was in high school, we struggled with the "boyfriend" issue.
I told her that boyfriends will have major impact on your attitude and future. Remember "hormones"?
You see, having a boyfriend at an early age will result to the feeling of having an "unnecessary need".
Meaning you could get hooked to the idea that you will always need a boyfriend to be confident with yourself.
You think that you can only be happy if you have a boyfriend.
This also goes with the other things a girl or a boy could get hooked on at an early stage.
Telebabad, Cellphone texting (or unlimited calling and texting), 0nline games(Dota and counterstrike etc.) and chatrooms, Smoking, Drinking, Drugs, Gambling and ***.

So she have a boyfriend in high school. Her studies took the backseat.
Her grades went down and many times I have to ask her teachers not to fail her.
She graduated at the bottom list of her class. And to think shes brilliant and talented.

And to cut the story short, she's buntis now with her boyfriend's baby.
For a girl who have all the potentials to be a successful individual, poof!!
Her future is dim now career-wise.
And for what? A boyfriend.

[Soul Doctor]

parallel talk lang gamay - that's why most sensible daughters end up marrying the "right man" (the right man being somebody who closely resembles their father's personality).

thus the saying:
"Girls marry their fathers".

[ashleh]

Thank you so much soul doctor...nindot kaau imu mga answer.

In my humble speaking i am a good daughter to my parents.
Unsa ila gusto ako buhaton just to satisfy them.
Yes i understand his point, but since when i was in high school till college, i have only one boyfriend in college. once he knew that i have boyfriend.
nasuko siya and iya ko paundangon, so what i did,
ako gibuwagan ang laki mski sakit kay i don't want to stop.
Mo ingon ako papa before na asa ra na ang uyab if humana og skuela so yes i agree but since naka grad nku sa college. mao mn ghapon way nausab.
All my boyfriends before and present he has a bad comment each of them.
i can feel na dli siya gusto mag uyab2x ko which is opposite sa ako mother.
i am 23 right now.
mo abroad nlng ko hopefully soon mao ghapon.

in other side wala pa sd koy plano mag minyo even though my friends cge ingon na minyo na para maundang imu papa but i think its more complicated if mo sod ko ana na dli paku ready.

[ashleh]

Now back to my daughter's story.
She is 20 now.
She's on her fourth year fine arts major advertising course.

When she was in high school, we struggled with the "boyfriend" issue.
I told her that boyfriends will have major impact on your attitude and future. Remember "hormones"?
You see, having a boyfriend at an early age will result to the feeling of having an "unnecessary need".
Meaning you could get hooked to the idea that you will always need a boyfriend to be confident with yourself.
You think that you can only be happy if you have a boyfriend.
This also goes with the other things a girl or a boy could get hooked on at an early stage.
Telebabad, Cellphone texting (or unlimited calling and texting), 0nline games(Dota and counterstrike etc.) and chatrooms, Smoking, Drinking, Drugs, Gambling and ***.

So she have a boyfriend in high school. Her studies took the backseat.
Her grades went down and many times I have to ask her teachers not to fail her.
She graduated at the bottom list of her class. And to think shes brilliant and talented.

And to cut the story short, she's buntis now with her boyfriend's baby.
For a girl who have all the potentials to be a successful individual, poof!!
Her future is dim now career-wise.
And for what? A boyfriend.

sad to know but this kind of situation is very rampant now.

Thank you soul doctor for sharing the story of your daughter.
It will help this story to some other istoryan member's here na mga magtuman sa gusto.

[ashleh]

Fathers only looks out for the good of their daughters.
I hope you could see that.

Yes i agree and i understand in some other situation.

[ashleh]

Ashleh thanks for your confidence in my answers.
Assuming you are a girl on her "right" age.

There are different kind of fathers.
And there are different kinds of parents.
And parents have different ways of dealing with their children (young or old).
There are reasons why controlon niya imong lovelife

(1) maybe because you yourself has not shown that you can choose responsibly by yourself.
Meaning, wala siyay salig sa imong pagpili og uyab.
Fathers are like water filters.
They are men and they know how men operates.
It is to your advantage when fathers "filters" your boyfriends.
They can see through a person's facade.
Girls just look for the face value and the potentials, fathers has "men" instincts and can see deeper things.

Yes, i can feel wala siyay salig sa ako pagpili og uyab and what he want siya ang mopili unsa iya gusto o klase na uyab or my husband to be which he can't dictate my heart.

[Soul Doctor]

Yes, i can feel wala siyay salig sa ako pagpili og uyab and what he want siya ang mopili unsa iya gusto o klase na uyab or my husband to be which he can't dictate my heart.

But you said you have not planned to get married yet.
Then there is no reason why you should have a boyfriend.
You see boys have only two years before they get bored with a girl.
So if you have a boyfriend and you were not married after two years then the percentage that you ever will be married is getting slim.
It is like buying a TV when you still have no plan of using it.
It does not make sense.

No father or mother should choose for their children's husbands or wives.
It happened to me too.
When I got married,
my in-laws tried their best to separate us, because they want their daughter to marry a foreigner.
This usually happens to materialistic parents.
It was really tough having in-laws with those type of mentality.