The Myth of Monogamy

[krapzamber]

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Actually I was intrigued by your Blog since I also believed that there is some truth to it. However as it progresses, the topic was already far fetched. I believe you wanted to bring out more opinions by making an argument and you have been successful. You knew a variety of field and stood by them. And best of all, you know English very well.

About the issue of rationality and superiority in men, my opinion is that God made us to become stewards of his creations. That makes us more rational and superior since other animals can't take care of us the way we can take care of them. Am I right? I understand your purpose by trying to explain that there are hidden reasons about peoples actions (conscious or unconscious), but you misjudged them by being irrational basing by there mistakes in the past. It's not being irrational, it is being human. As we go on living in this world, we are confronted with different schemes of life and we change with it. Thanks to those mistakes in the past, we have learned from it. Of course, there are always individuals who think they are a far more greater being than others, that's why they bring chaos and misunderstanding. I also believe you have a great pool of ideas in your head that you wanted to share even if it is against the norms. Think about it before you even say them. Sometimes our words can't be erased from others point of view.

Well, bloodthirsty individuals do make this thread colorful.

[tokidoki]

@iagosmom: mao pud but naa gyud but basta mo give in na mawala naman ang konsensya ba. :O when you start doing something good or bad you don't think about it anymore. like when I touch type I can't tell you where the keys are I just instinctively do. A soldier who has killed and a soldier who hasn't are different people in their careers but they all start out as the latter. "what hurts the most about taking a human life is when it doesn't hurt anymore." -- anonymous soldier.

@krapzamber: well it could be worse I could have simply conformed to the norm and say "it was the devil that made me do it". where's the fun in that? that is totally lame. most of my ideas are unpopular and some are a little touching. if it's your fault, it's your fault. walay pasangilay. pustaanay ta, if that was my argument, everyone would welcome such an idea that the devil is behind our polygamy. that is one aspect of our beliefs. we so much want to find someone to blame for our weaknesses and look for someone to look for hope. that's why we have devil and a god. right? i guess it would be clear as you read my blog i was never much of a conformist.

Me being irrational is irrelevant because that is my argument from the start. I play the bad guy the other supposedly plays the good guy. but if people who claim to be otherwise end up being like me they are only proving me right. haven't you observed that in their replies? that's part of the experiment. you know, like test driving your invention. i'm surprised how someone with a psych course fell for that. :-/ even more surprising is that the book I have mentioned is written by a considerably known psychologist and a pyschiatrist and he doesn't bother to argue with them. (ako lang siguro kai "basin sayon" pildihon) I believe they are more "at level" with him. kai nagdali man pangita ug bikil.

If my ideas in that blog are a little far fetched you should see my other blog that I started about theoretical technologies that just came off the top of my head. hehehe... i'll bet mr. you-know-who won't fall short of insults on that blog as well. after all, when a friend of mine many years back said it was a stupid idea to start a forum for cebuanos, Istorya was born, right? and we here we all are now using that "stupid idea forum" to communicate with other cebuanos. it's just a matter of guts lang ba to just throw caution to the wind and JUST DO IT.

in the rules of debate when someone degenerates (or when degenerates degenerate - if that's even possible) into name callling it's a sign of desperation na. strike napud. just coz they run out of words to say they go on to say "bogo ka" or "what a stupid idea". i really love that part.

[Soul_Captive]

Maybe it's all a matter of opinion, Mr Tokidoki..But, murag nawala naman ang sense and original thoughts ani nga thread..I did not read all of the posts between some people in this thread, but I maintain my first position on what this thread is all about..As for your thoughts that instincts work ahead of your own brain, speak for yourself then..My brain is the center and source of all my actions..All processes in my body starts from my brain, including signing up for Istorya and writing these thoughts right now..That separates me from the other animals..As for you, it is your choice if you want to be one of them, but still polygamy will never be acceptable in this society where you currently are a part of..You either deal with that or go live with your instinct driven brothers somewhere else..

[tokidoki]

@Soul_Captive
hmm... you're the only one person who noticed the drift from the topic? oh, well, at least naai nakabantay. better to have one than none. amen.

Polygamy will NEVER be acceptable in society? What society are you talking about? The Christian society? FYI, Not all cultures follow monogamy as part of their society. (It is still an ongoing debate whether polygamy existed in the bible as well. Please don't go there!) I am currently part of a society where there are different people with different beliefs so don't be too quick to judge what other groups of people believe in. So, no, I am NOT PART of the society you are talking about. That's like you're telling me that Muslims who practice polygamy are unacceptable in OUR society.

What is right or wrong is relative to the group that defines them. Hence, my motto: DO NOT JUDGE IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. For example, to an American, Harikiri is brutal and inhuman but it is perfectly acceptable and even DIGNIFIED to Japanese culture. Even more closer to home, to you it may be wrong to belt your children but in another house it is a means to discipline. And don't tell me wala ka silingan na ing-ana? Do you steer clear of these people because they are "not like you"? Do you build walls around your house because you find them too weird? There are many people in YOUR society that don't see things your way. The only thing wrong with your argument is that to blend in with you (just you) I have to conform to your beliefs. Do I or any of the examples I have mentioned make us a bad people?

I have friends from many religions and countries and the reason why they like me is because I am open towards them. You'll never hear me taking potshots about eating pork to a Muslim or throw in some fag jokes to gays. I am so totally against discrimination.

btw, thanks for staying on topic.

[Soul_Captive]

@Soul_Captive
hmm... you're the only one person who noticed the drift from the topic? oh, well, at least naai nakabantay. better to have one than none. amen.

Polygamy will NEVER be acceptable in society? What society are you talking about? The Christian society? FYI, Not all cultures follow monogamy as part of their society. (It is still an ongoing debate whether polygamy existed in the bible as well. Please don't go there!) I am currently part of a society where there are different people with different beliefs don't be too quick to judge what other groups of people believe in. So, no, I am NOT PART of the society you are talking about. That's like you're telling that Muslims are unacceptable in OUR society.

Hey don't get me wrong..For one, I have a number of Muslim friends and have nothing against them..I have everything going against polygamy though..Which cultures are practicing polygamy, sir? Can you name them so we can probably check on how things are going on there compared to how our society is doing now? By the way, the society I am talking about is the general one where we are currently part of..It is not bounded by such shallow delineations as the ones you've mentioned (i.e. religion and the likes)..Religion is shallow, in this sense, in the way it is used as a form of creating exclusivity, and not that religion in itself is shallow (para klaro lang bah)..And please, I am not judging anybody..I am merely forming my own opinions based on what I have read which is what you have said in behalf of yourself..
Now, I'm starting to think that polygamy might somehow get back in action considering how passionate some people are in advocating for it..And honestly, I am getting scared of that time..I hope I won't be around to be in the mid of such chaos..

[tokidoki]

Sorry, I wasn't done with my post. hehehe...

I would also like to clarify my intentions. If you have read my article, it is in no way encouraging polygamy. I was discussing my distaste in the realization that monogamy is not a natural act. Well, since nobody bothered to read it might as well mention a bit about it here. *sigh*

I was asking a lot of questions in my post. Ang naka apan ana ron is ako naman nuon gipangutana. LOL

I also mentioned that earlier in life I was going about it the wrong way. What's the point na magselos ta about such acts na mao man diay na binuhatan sa tao? It's not necessarily a generalization as what others claim but rather we have the "default" behavior to be polygamus. But, yes, naai choice. HOWEVER, that choice may not necessarily be in your favor. Even with man's so-called independent thought your partner would still choose to be polygamus. How would you react to your partner who thinks that way?

In summary, I'm just cushioning people's worries about a polygamus partner by sharing what I learned. The sooner you realize it the better off you'll be - forget the "instinct debate" because that OT in the first place. Kung baga "kung mamiga ka diha siguardua na di ka mabuntis kai kung lain ang amahan ana, you're on your own." All the while not judging your partner as a whore. Learn to let it go. Maybe it's a reality check for you that maybe you just weren't doing your best in a relationship even though you think you did. After all, there's no better revenge for a 3rd party than to let them keep her. hehehe....

I know what you're thinking. I'm weird but that's just me. LOL

You may believe in monogamy but not everyone will see it that way and you may not want to believe it. But like an angel once said: "Some things are real whether you believe in them or not."

[Soul_Captive]

I'm not thinking you're weird or anything Mr. Tokidoki..Well, I actually did not read your blog and was just reacting to your posts in this thread..
Polygamy exists, and that is a fact..However, this thread has been started to rationalize the act itself..That's how I see it, and I'm sorry if I am wrong..It is real, but that does not mean we have to follow on it..Polygamy exists, but we do not have to be polygamous..We can exist and live better lives in a world of monogamous relationships, so why the need for the polygamy?

[tokidoki]

well, i apologize on behalf of certain individuals here that cannot seem to follow through. hehehe... i'm kinda proud of my ability to think differently - even at the expense of how I look to other people.

certainly there is no cure for polygamy (it isn't a disease to begin with) unless you want to take that out of the human blueprint.

but good thing I have an answer for your last question. I get asked a lot about that in the past but back then I didn't have an answer. So lucky you.

it pains me to poke at this issue again but it is an animal instinct. Monogamy = Human defined. Polygamy = nature defined. And there's polygamy as a legal marital bond.

Before I answer, set aside your religious inclinations for a moment here. hehehe...

Why do we do it? For males, it is the urge to spread his seed (daghan kaliwat). For females, it is the desire for superior genes (daghan maliwat). This explains why men like to screw anyone and why women like the good looking men (kaliwat, paliwat). If you're monogamus, yes, I know, digusting! Diba?

Of course, we do have a choice but our ability to choose is a GIVEN. I cannot elaborate further on monogamy because that's already an agreed "right decision" by most. It's a lot more interesting to analyze the things we consider in society as taboo. Let's open doors others want to close. heheh... The truth hurts but you discover things that you once thought was inappropriate.

I also watch Penn & Teller's: BS. Penn mentioned that if we were all monogamus the human race would be extinct. The math for the propagation of the species just wouldn't make a sizeable amount of the human population. This makes sense. 1:1 = x that's one offspring in a single year (multiple births aside). Now 1:17 that's 17 children in a year!

So the only reason ngano daghan ta is daghan lang gyud bigaon na tao diha. LOL

[Soul_Captive]

Lolz..The last part was funny..Let's suggest to the government to prosecute those people as a population control measure..

Anyway, my point in all this is that monogamy was created to maintain order, and that we are capable of such..Thus, I do not see any point why people (most especially the guys) cannot control their urges and be loyal to one person of the other *** when the women (who are supposed to be inferior) are able to do it..

[tokidoki]

hey! With all due respect I don't think women are inferior! *bows* in fact, i believe it is the opposite OT for a bit here, in every creature on this earth it is usually the female that dictates how life moves.

for some reason, women are not sexually inclined compared to men. i guess it is by nature's design that you gals can handle it. i'm not sure about it but maybe testosterone is more aggressive than estrogen. hehehe.. but more so i believe it is because women's *** drive only runs for a short period of time. what do you think?