the eye...
my mom only had one eye. i hated her... she was such
an embarressment.. my mom ran a small shop
at a flea market. she collected little weeds and
such to sell... anything for the money we needed she
was such an embarressment. there was this one
day during elementary school.. it was field day,
and my mom came. i was so embarressed. how
could she do this to me? i threw her a hateful look and
ran out. the next day at school... "your mom only
has one eye?!?!" ..and they taunted me. i wished
that my mom would just dissappear from this
world so i said to my mom, "mom.. why dont you have
the other eye?! if you're only gonna make me a
laughingstock, why dont you just die?!!!" my
mom did not respond.. i guess i felt a little bad, but
at the same time, it felt good to think that i had
said what i'd wanted to say all this time.. maybe it
was because my mom hadnt punished me, but i
didnt think that i had hurt her feelings very badly.
that night... i woke up, and went to the kitchen to
get a glass of water. my mom was crying there, so
quietly, as if she was afraid that she might
wake me. i took a look at her, then turned away.
because of the thing i had said to her earlier,
there was something pinching at me in the corner
of my heart. even so, i hated my mother who was
crying out of her one eye. so i told myself that i would
grow up and become successful. cause i
hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty..
then i studied real hard. i left my mother and came
to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the
Seoul University with all the confidence i had. then, i
got married. i bought a house of my own. then i
had kids, too.. now i'm living happily as a
successful man. i like it here because it's a place that
doesnt remind me of my mom. this happiness was
getting bigger and bigger, when.. what?! who's
this?! ...it was my mother... ..still with her one eye. it felt
as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. my
little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye. and i
asked her, "who are you?!" "i dont know you!!!" as if
trying to make that real. i screamed at her," how
dare you come to my house and scare my
daughter!" "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" and
to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, i'm so
sorry. i may have gotten the wrong address,"
and she dissappeared out of sight. thank good
ness... she doesnt recognize me.. i was quite
relieved. i told myself that i wasnt going to care, or think
about this for the rest of my life. then a wave of
relief came upon me... one day, a letter
regarding a school reunion came to my house. so, lying
to my wife that i was going on a business trip, i
went. after the reunion, i went down to the old
shack, that i used to call a house...just out of curiosity
there, i found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
but i did not shed a single tear. she had a piece of
paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me. my son... i
think my life has been long enough now.. and... i
wont visit Seoul anymore... but would it be too
much to ask if i wanted you to come visit me once in a
while? i miss you so much.. and i was so glad
when i heard you were coming for the reunion. but
i decided not to go to the school. ...for you...
and i'm sorry that i only have one eye, and i was an
embarressment for you. you see, when you
were very little, you got into an accident, and lost
your eye. as a mom, i couldnt stand watching you
having to grow up with only one eye... so i
gave you mine... i was so proud of my son that was
seeing a whole new world for me, in my
place, with that eye. i was never upset at you for anything
you did.. the couple times that you were angry with
me,.. i thought to myself, 'it's because he
loves me..' my son... oh, my son... i dont want you to
cry for me, because of my death. please dont
cry.... my son, i love you so much..
the eye
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