Need Bisaya - english translator please

[RyzoR]

asa na man si ts? unsay ipatranslate diay?

[Wynna]

nosebleed mn ko unsaon paghubad sa bisayang pinolongan ang problema nga nahiaguman aning atong amigong dako kaayug suliran....amigo, palihug og sangyaw.....

I'm having difficulties translating these Bisaya statements concerning our friend's predicament.

Friend , please dance

[brilumz]

palihug ko ug translate : I was wandering in the wonder land!

[Hubert007]

This seems to be particular hard to translate to english...
Hahaha samag lagot ra...2log nq te jo ky pla ka adlaw nq kulang og 2 log...

[my_hEaD_isBIG]

Kalooy sad sa foreigner, nangabit tawn iyang partner. Bagaa nawng sad sa Pinay. Mamurikat palang na siya kaysa mangilad ug tao.

[luff101]

na unsa na intawn kaha ni ang TS. wa naman pakita... asa naka ni siya ron... basin gi deport nani....

[keen]

palihug ko ug translate : I was wandering in the wonder land!

hahahah

kani sad: i was wandering in the wonder land full of wonderful wandering wanderers.

[brilumz]

hahahah

kani sad: i was wandering in the wonder land full of wonderful wandering wanderers.

ako nalang mo translate ani @keen para nimo

Translation: Naglatagaw ko sa usa ka langob nga puno ug sagbot nga gipuy-an ug lampinig,putyukan ug kiyot..

[Hubert007]

Could anyone please translate this sms into english

she,,,Baga`kau kag lips!As in !
he....Hahaha samag lagot ra...2log nq te jo ky pla ka adlaw nq kulang og 2log.

[obelisk]

Could anyone please translate this sms into english

she,,,Baga`kau kag lips!As in !
he....Hahaha samag lagot ra...2log nq te jo ky pla ka adlaw nq kulang og 2log.

Translation:
She: Your lips are so thick! (A term used for people who feel no shame)
He: Same as being angry. I'll sleep now sister Jo because I lacked sleep for days. (sister meaning older sister)