makigbuwag or dili?? advices are highly appreciated....

[sugarcakes_babe]

well you know, i trusted him too much, that by the time nga when we were dating yet, we're too into each other nga kami najud, kami najud lagi as in, that we want to grow old together,so i gave in everything, pero infairness sad we never had any third party/infidelity issues so far.. until i got pregnant, til i gave birth, panatag rako na mo.propose rajud xa cguro sa d madugay, pero i kept mum, until ni 1yr old na among anak, dha nako ni.express ug hinay2 bout kasal thing, kay wala gyud siyay hisgot, he jus t made promises, then came 2yrs old bday sa among anak, then nag 3yrs old nlng among anak, way kasal nahitabo,,, by this time, maforesee najud nako nga walay padulngan ning among relasyon, nga wlay marriage mahitabo...nga as in wala, nga as in luoy rami s akong anak in the long run, tho gi.apil niya sa iyang mga benefits among anak, but ako as in wala, zero pas zero balance... sagdi lang oi,,,, life must go on....

[sugarcakes_babe]

So basically with this being said, you're choosing between love and security. Well, I understand if you go with security, I who can blame you. But if your husband really loves you, the way that you have described and if that's really the case, I will stick to him if I were in your shoes.

And tell me TS, by saying "Security" is this financial, or support for the kids? I mean what kind of "Security" are you refering to? If this is the case, then you're like saying nga dili trustworthy imo husband. The reason why I asked this para pud maka sabot ko sa ako GF karon which goes through the same dilemna. Oh by the way, getting married is not really a big thing for me but it's not top 1 in my priority list.

Why is it na always luoy ang babay? Why is it that you invite these negative thoughts na "What if" plus "negative statement"? So magpakasal ka para pa kiha nimo imo bana if something goes wrong? If that's the reason why you're getting married TS, I think you don't really love your husband, you just want to make sure nga dili ka nya biyaan mag inosara magbuhi sa imong anak. You're thinking about yourself. And you can't say that you're husband is thinking for himself, when iya man kaha kang gi supportahan, ni kayod man kaha imong uyab?

...infairness sad hinuon niya, wala sad ko/ kami sa iyang anak pabay.i, trabaho jud nuon sad xa, and i also did my job as a housewife as well... pero kutob ra dha? maypag magpasustento nalang mi... it is just so sad, nga lahi2 mig ug prinsipyo sa akong uyab, i believe in wedding, and siya dili or shoudl i say kamo dili.... and it pains for girls like me who has the same prinsipyo.... and wa jud mi nagkailhanay dinha dapita when we were yet dating... too bad... now its too late when everything is already complicated for me to let go... ayaw pud anang d nako siya love oy, haha i love him with all my being, siya gani akong first bf and everythig, i even chose him over my parents and brothers, i neglected my profession, maynalang gani nakapasar sa bord exam haha....everything para niya and i let my world just spins around him.. shit...

[sugarcakes_babe]

Okay, I get your point. But, for me basically what you're saying is that, you're love doesn't count, if we don't have papers to show that we are married? And here I thought that "Love" is important than anything else, if your bf loves you, then you shouldn't have any problems with it. I mean, tell me what's would be the difference lage between a married couple, and those couple who are not married? Not to disrespect you in anyway, I get your point, but the thing here is that do you understand mine?

ON T: If the reason nga makigbuwag ka kay dili magpakasal imong bf nimo (bisan og pinangga jud ka niya), then I cannot say na sayop imo buhaton or sakto ba. I can only give my own opinion about this since there isn't really right or wrong on this only consequences. Firstly, naa bay mawala nimo if dili ka makigbuwag/makigbuwag ka?

Of course, I'm not sure sa imo situation, and og unsay batasan sa imo BF. But base sa imong pagkatubag, insecure jud siguro ka (IMHO). Please don't take it the wrong way if mo ingon ko na insecure ka.

...too bad but yep im insecure with my status, for i am way conservative, i trusted him too much lang jud that he will never let me feel insecure, that he will never allow this issues to be getting a big deal sa akong part..., pero mao cguro ni gi.ingon @gotnowheels nga "mayra!"...

[sugarcakes_babe]

So basically with this being said, you're choosing between love and security. Well, I understand if you go with security, I who can blame you. But if your husband really loves you, the way that you have described and if that's really the case, I will stick to him if I were in your shoes.

And tell me TS, by saying "Security" is this financial, or support for the kids? I mean what kind of "Security" are you refering to? If this is the case, then you're like saying nga dili trustworthy imo husband. The reason why I asked this para pud maka sabot ko sa ako GF karon which goes through the same dilemna. Oh by the way, getting married is not really a big thing for me but it's not top 1 in my priority list.

Why is it na always luoy ang babay? Why is it that you invite these negative thoughts na "What if" plus "negative statement"? So magpakasal ka para pa kiha nimo imo bana if something goes wrong? If that's the reason why you're getting married TS, I think you don't really love your husband, you just want to make sure nga dili ka nya biyaan mag inosara magbuhi sa imong anak. You're thinking about yourself. And you can't say that you're husband is thinking for himself, when iya man kaha kang gi supportahan, ni kayod man kaha imong uyab?

....i guess those are not negativities but possibilities, c'mon everything could happen, and that happens in real life, like in just one snap everything could change unthinkably.... well as of now, ayl just let him take it for granted, and starts to accept these things slowly...swerte ra niya, ayaw nalang kung dili xa, never najud ko mu.ask about it, really!

[quirkychinita]

....agree... pero swerte rapud kaau ang mga laki kung ing.ana dba, like matud pang @quirkychinita "responsibility without commitment! that's bullshit! " im still sticking with the idea nga kasal dapat before anything else, i don't agree with live.in2 before wedding.... saon all i could say is im stuck with the wrong guy who's not willing and brave enough nga barugan and pakasalan ko, it's just so tragic, really tragic, the feeling is tragic, dinha nana mo.come in ang pag.sinabtanay, sabot2 and overcoming all obstacles, and cguro pag.ilhanay, we've been five years in the relationship, i guess that's enough, we've seen each other at our best and worst....

I beg to differ, TS. But it's just MY opinion, heheheheh! (Altho sauna, di jud ko uyon ani until I thought it over) Living in before marriage isn't bad at all. It's like testing the waters if kauyon ba ka or not so you'd have the chance to leave (pati pud ang guy naay chance mu-back out if he's seen something bad) if you've seen something na DMD jud. My sisters nakig-live in mga 2 years before marriage. Even my parents okay ra ani kay they know my reason is valid. Pero syempre, if the guy doesnt really show any sign of initiating or even proposing and specially marrying the girl.... THEN better leave than be left! Why stick to a person who doesnt give you any kind of VALUE and RESPECT at your opinions at all? All I really wanted is to make things LEGAL pud and at the same time live the life of HAPPY EVER AFTER.

It's really nice to see that ring in your finger and that new last name in your ID's and papers baya. Labaw nag love kaayo nimu ang guy. It feels a lot like..... That warm, butterfly-in-the-stomach, sweet feeling that the person who gave you that promise shared a part of him that nobody else could and ever will but him alone..... sumthing like that....as shared by the women in my family...

It's not that, just because the whole clan in my family strongly believes in marriage and the power of it, but why in the world would MARRIAGE exist if di na sya mahitabo sa couple? unsa lugar na? balaod na gibuhat out of binuang or biga or some other stuff I forgot to mention? ever wonder nganung bisag unsa ka contradicting ang LAW ug RELIGION (USAHAY in some aspects) they somehow share the same beliefs and laws of marriage?

And oh! My boss (who happens to be HAPPILY married!) from my previous company told me that if a guy doesnt propose marriage after about 3-4 years of the relationship, there's a REASON behind it.....

Another boss in my current company told me, "Pag GUSTO, maraming paraan... Pag AYAW may DAHILAN"

Living in a liberated world does not even make enough reason nganung marriage should be ignored, even same gender marriage exists.... ever wonder about that?

Also, no child wants to be called a (sorry for saying this but I cant find the right term) BAST*RD... frankly speaking, I have half sisters and half brother in the family and they told me the pain of how it's like to grow up in their situation, nadaut ilang childhood even after a LAW existed (I think back in 1992 ba to?) na even a bast*rd can have the father's lastname.

Trust me, you don't want a child who kept asking you questions about why their playmates or classmates have pictures of their parents in wedding attire and you dont. or why you both have no commin rings in your fingers...

Marriage is important... It doesnt matter if bongga or simple. Bisan civil wedding (even my parents agree) will do. It's that bond that makes a relationship stronger.

does these help?

[sugarcakes_babe]

...like i said @quirkychinita , i'll be sticking with the idea nga magpakasal jud mi, nga dapat naay mahitabo nga kasal in the near future... i grew up with parents unmarried because my mother's marriage to his first husband is not annulled yet and u kno..but it was never their reason not to take marriage seriously, in fact they encouraged all my three older brothers to prioritize it before anything else, so all of them are legally wedded to their wives pero it got them into some real trouble kay nagbinuang jud sila tanan except sa eldest namo pero padung napud separate sa iya wife i guess kay a lot,lot,lot of irreconcilable differences, his wife is too liberated, the type of when the cat is away the mouse will play, i mean wa ko magjudge pero ive seen it with my two eyes,as in raaawr kaau anyways, nalayo najud ko hehe and so my two other bros status now is TNT hahay, i don't kno if i will desperately stay sa ing.ani nga sitwasyon, hopefully lang matinuod lang jud iyang mga promises, next promise is mid next yr napud, i've also thought about my daughter growing up with no dad, but i too grew up without a father and what happened? pagka.ila2 jud nako ani niya nya naka.uyon dayon ko, pak kuyog dayon and all, hala date2 didto, date dri against my parents permission hahahah pero before he came, i had suitors man pud pero mga lousy, the last one i had before him kay nagpropose kaha, ambot lagi, my sister-in-law that time told me nga i.entertain kuno to nako nya seryosohon ba nya tagsa ra kita laki gentleman nya propose dayon, pero murag dili man pud mao, he proposed kay i prohibited him from holding any parts of my body, wedding first, joke ra nako ba, pero iyang g.seryoso, nya g.binuang.binuangan ra nako, then came this guy karon ug kalit, junk dayon si proposing guy over this bad guy, hahay paets...asa na kaha siya run....

[zairon1988]

kung ganahan naman diay ka magpakasal, tabange nalang og tigom imong uyab para madaun jd na inyong kasal..tingali naglisod jd na cya kay kulang sa budget

[MaInEvEnT]

Imo nlng cya buwagan kay dli pa makig minyo so wa kay assurance and basin nya mangita ug lain nya biyaan ka ug sayon2x... so biyaan nimo kay hadlok ka byaan ka.. libog ko TS hehehe

[sugarcakes_babe]

Imo nlng cya buwagan kay dli pa makig minyo so wa kay assurance and basin nya mangita ug lain nya biyaan ka ug sayon2x... so biyaan nimo kay hadlok ka byaan ka.. libog ko TS hehehe

hahahahha naa sad kay point, pero mas maayo man gud nang akoy mubiya kaysa akoy byaan,

- - - Updated - - -

kung ganahan naman diay ka magpakasal, tabange nalang og tigom imong uyab para madaun jd na inyong kasal..tingali naglisod jd na cya kay kulang sa budget

...i only want civil wedds and it doesnt cost too much, the least cost of money that could make it possible is 500, pero siya he wants some bonggacious wedd which is superb impractical, with our situation? that we are constantly hunted by numerous bills, i dont think so.... its obviously a lame excuse..

[MaInEvEnT]

^^Bitaw kidding aside, of course mas nindot man jud ang minyo kaysa sa dili pero, if wala cya nag binuang ug wala cya nag kuwang sa iyang responsibilities ninyo sa inyong anak, ayaw lang sad buwagi.. storya-i lang na ninyo ug tarong and if problema cya sa money, tabangi nlng pud, bhala kanang barato lang na kasal basta ang importante nimo is ma minyo lang mo.