Then, I tried to lay low... I really tried but everytime I receive a text from him, I just can't resist him! We still see each other but I no longer go to his house. I never showed myself again to his family. We just go out together silently. Until 1 night... he sent me to work.
M: I realized something..
Me: what?
M: That no one can ever replace you.. Not even her.
(I didn't answer)
M: I wanna get back to you.. if you'd allow me.
Me: How about her?
M: I don't want her to get hurt but I don't love her at all as much as I have loved you. I am such a mess! Akoa ni sala tanan! Why did I ever hurt you in the first place? Our love was perfect! pero.. ako lang gisayangan.. nahadlok kaayo ko! nahadlok ko na basin ug mubalik ko nimo, ikaw na sad ang mupalayo nako.
Me: Why would I stay away from the person who is my everything? And besides, I am pregnant!
Silence was all I heared..
Me: 3months na.. Sometimes, I just wish this didn't happen but naka-think ko na basin mao na ni way na mubalik na jud ka nako.. finally!
M: I am happy to hear na daddy na jud ko at last! Now, kahibaw na ko unsaon nako pagpangita ug way na makabalik lang nimo.. Just wait for me.. Ikaw ra jud akoa.. pls..
Me: Syempre! ikaw biya papa sa akong baby!
Then we didn't see each other after 2 months... Until his graduation day! March 19
I went to their house to surprise him. To congratulate him! I was 5 months pregnant that time but it's un-noticeable! Nobody would ever think that I was pregnant that time. I and M are the only person who knew about it. Not even his mom, nor any of his family.. Not even our friends knew about it..
When I arrived their house, they had a lot of visitors! I am happy that he has now graduated from college. From a 5-year course.. Very happy ko that time,. I brought cake for him. But then.. the mood started shifting when I noticed his mom's face na mura ug gi nerbyos.. I asked where M was.. And they said, "Naa sa likod nimo.. naa sa sofa.." When I turned my back, I saw M.. sitting right beside the girl... He introduced me to his girlfriend. And when the girlfriend stood up to shook hands with me.. I noticed something.. I was looking at her.. greatly staring at her.. as if mura ba ug slow motion.. (Tinuod jud diay na nga mahitabo na nga murag muslow-mo imong kalibutan) Then I realized.. we have something in common! We are both Pregnant! Only that, her tummy is bigger.. So that means it's now more than 5 months or maybe manganakay na.. Damn! napanganga na lang ko uie.. I was looking at the girl's tummy then sa nawng dayon ni M. And I saw him looking back at me trying to say "Sorry". He is lip-syncing it! the word "Sorry!" Then, nibalik na ug kagubot akong panan-aw.. I can hear a lot of noises na! And I was distracted by his mom trying to offer me something to eat. Then I said, "No, busog ko.. maybe naa mo pampabugnaw diha.." then, they offered me ice cream.. Nag-eat ko ice cream while gubot kaayo akong huna2. I can feel pain pero murag faded pa kaayo siya.. Namula ko ug maayo.. nanginit ko.. wa ko kasabot sa akong na-feel actually. Mura ba ug gikumot akong dughan. Kahilakon ko but I stopped myself from crying coz I can't stand myself be humiliated when they see me crying in front of all these people!
Then his Tita suddenly asked me.. "Karon pa mo nagkita ni J dai? Karon pa mo nagkaila?"
Me: UU Tita, karon pa.. (forcing myself to smile..)
M's Tita: "Buntis man na cya dai.. mag 8months na.."
Me: "Mao ba? congrats! (as I looked at the happy couple) "Muadto na diay ko uie! sayo pa mi mubiyahe ugma.. Team Building namo.. sa Bantayan.."
M's Mom: " Hayahaya na nimo dai noh.. miski asa na man ka maabot. "
Me: "Hehehe.. anah! chill2 lang panagsa gud.. Lingaw2 sa self..
M's Mom: "ayo2 dai ha.." (Then she hugged me tight) "Ihatod sa na si P didto M!"
Me: "No na uie.. Naa ra man sad diha sa gawas akong mga friends.. sila na lang maghatod nako!"
Then.. nilakaw na ko.. dugay kaayo ko nakahilak ato..
Didto na pag-abot sa Bantayan. Nagwala ko ug maayo! Nanghagis... nihilak ug maayo!
But I never showed my friends about it. Nag rent ko ug separate room didto sa Bantayan.
Then I texted his father..
Me: Unfair kaayo mo uncle! Ngano wala man ko ninyo sultie sa situation ni J! Gipaasa ko sa wala sa inyong anak! Nisalig ko niya.. ug ninyo pud na unta mutug-an mo kung unsa'y tinuod para kahibaw ko mulugar kung asa ko bagay mulugar! Pero inyo ra pud gitagoan ang baho sa inyong anak..
M's Papa: Sorry kaayo dai.. Wala jud na namo tuyua. Gusto kaayo mi musulti nimo pero si M ang nipugong namo. Giingnan mi niya na dili lang mi maglabot2. Kapila na gani na nag-away si Mama niya ug si M tungod lage ana.. Pero ingon si M na siya lang daw musulti nimo kay di daw siya ganahan masakitan ka..
Me: Pero unsa man iya gibuhat karon uncle? Unsa'y tan-aw niya sa iyang gibuhat nako? Gihimo ko niya bu*ng! Gipasalig sa wala! Unya unsa man tan-aw niya ron? Wala ko masakiti?! Pasensya kaayo uncle kung ingon ani ko manulti nimo karon.. Nasakitan lang jud ko ug pagmaayo uncle gud! And naka feel ko na inyo ra kong gitabangan ug binuang!
M's Papa: Dili jud na mao dai.. kahibaw jud ka dai ug unsa ka namo ka-pinangga.. Pero angay man sad jud na si M ang magsulti unta nimo.. Wa man sad mi magdahom na maabot sa punto na ikaw na mismo ang makakita.. Pasayloa jud mi day.. Wala jud na namo tuyua..
---- wla na ko nireply..
I started eating very less.. I lost weight.. I cried every night until makatulog ko.. Gihilak lang nako until mawala ang pain.. pero whenever inig mata nako.. maka feel gihapon ko sa pain.. I took a week leave.. I went traveling to places.. ako lang isa.. I went hysterical.. then magsige na lang jud ko ug hilak... Feel nako.. mura ko ug nabuang ato kadiyot.. Until I lost my baby.. I even forgot that he was existing inside me.. Napasagdan nako akong baby..

When I lost him.. na-ospital ko na ako lang.. It was only my cousin who assisted me in the hospital. She tried texting him about what happened to me but she never got any reply from him..
From that day.. I started accepting that I was really stupid for falling to someone who is 5x more stupid than I am.
Wala na ko pakita.. I changed my number.. For another 2 years... I started naming myself as iMallalone...