he impregnated two girls at the same time, should i stay or should i leave?

[pinkhair]

Hi fellow Istoryans,

mangayo ko og advice sa akong complicated situation:

-there's two of us who's been impregnated by my BF a year ago, we're just a month or less apart. (i found out late about this na, 4mos on the way nko)
-since i gave birth, the situation was like, ako ang gipili, or should i say ako jud ang gibarogan. (i have already forgiven him about the other girl). He was there when the other girl gave birth but that was it, while sakong situation all throughout he was there, like even after birth.
-our child carries his surname (so does the other one)
-my family does not anything about his other family
-it's been over a year already and we're still not married

now you see, things started getting messed up. I found out that he has some other girl (a new one), and ni-angkon sya nga yes sila daw.. (he's not based here in Cebu man gud, so LDR but he comes home every long weekend, communication, etc were all okay before 3rd party came).

now this is my dilemma, I don't know if I should continue fighting for this relationship or should i let go. i grew up with absent parents, i only grew up in the care of a yaya, i have always wanteed to have a complete family, iwant to make this work but i dont know how to trust and believe him anymore.

SHOULD I STAY or SHOULD I GO?

[trinalla]

you have the same situation with my friend, gi dungan sad sila ug buntis and naa sad unta to plan nga dunganon sila ug kasal, not literally same day but the same month. ana ka boang ang laki, my friend decided to break the guy during her pregnancy, ang laki cge gukod nya for how many months, what happen to their situation makes my friend decide that its enough, years pa gani sila sa guy same with the other girlfriend sa guy, gi dungan sila for how many years, totally blind sila sa na happen. so do not waste your time with this stupid guy, the fact nga gi dungan mo ug buntis, thats a sh_t........... you can still find a guy, who will make you happy, while its still early leave him, you will have a miserable life with him, he is not worth it. someday u can find a guy who can complete your family

[havaianatic01]

pareha sab sakoa friend. ngdungan silag kabuntis adtong other girl, taz naa pa gyud diay lain girl na bag o lang nanganak before nagkasila. ang lalaki magpakasal unta taraw sa akoa friend, pero wala nisugot akoa friend (maau ra sab naminaw xa sakoang pagbabag nga magpakasal sila) so wala sila nakasal. didto siya nagpakasal sa babae nga nabuntisan nya few months lang ang pagitan sakoa friend. baw naunsa na sila karn. kung ako sa imuha, mas maau mokalas na ka anah sa imuha boyfriend adisir ka makatok sa sitwasyon. mura jud kag naibtan og pila ka tunok basta makahawa na ka sa iyaha kinabuhi.

[iwantmyboyfriend]

sa akong tanaw sis murag dli na giud na matagam lakiha. the thought lang na 2 iyang nabuntisan at the same time kay dapat matagam na. kung wala gani siya nahadlok anang hitaboa kay murag dli na giud na siya mahadlok sa miski unsa.
mayta maminaw ka sa tambag na ikaw na dapat mu palayo kay ma liwat unya na imong bata anang iyang amahan. dapat pd para dli siya (imo bata) ma ulaw or mag lagot, dli nalang unta siya makabalo unsay batasan sa iyang amahan na way ayu. tsk tsk.

be strong lang jd for your kid.

[beyee]

You wanted to have a complete family?
Yet the guy involved wants to be everybody's father.
Doesn't add up sis.

From your story alone, he's not emotionally ready to be the head of the family.
So you can never rely on having a complete family like you've been hoping for.

I'm not going to tell you what do with your situation because at the end of the
day, you call the shots whether to stay or leave him cold.

I'll just leave you with these questions for you to ponder on...

What if the other girl gets knocked up by your guy? Are you ready for that?
Do you believe that you deserve all these crap? Are you willing to give that to your child?
Which weighs more, having a complete family alright but he treats you like trash or
being on your own providing your child a healthy home/environment?

Truth be told sis, once a kid grows up and he/she sees you being maltreated by his/her father
but still you tolerate such cruelty, you'll end up having your child lose any respect for you.
How can your child respect you when you yourself don't give a tinge of self-worth to begin with?

Hope you'll gain more strength in facing your dilemma sis.
God bless.

[Vanillaskies]

Unsa man ning lakiha oi hangul man ug...

Ayaw na ana TS, kapoy antos sa tao way pulos. Concentrate nalang sa baby nimu.

[pinkhair]

You wanted to have a complete family?
Yet the guy involved wants to be everybody's father.
Doesn't add up sis.

From your story alone, he's not emotionally ready to be the head of the family.
So you can never rely on having a complete family like you've been hoping for.

I'm not going to tell you what do with your situation because at the end of the
day, you call the shots whether to stay or leave him cold.

I'll just leave you with these questions for you to ponder on...

What if the other girl gets knocked up by your guy? Are you ready for that?
Do you believe that you deserve all these crap? Are you willing to give that to your child?
Which weighs more, having a complete family alright but he treats you like trash or
being on your own providing your child a healthy home/environment?

Truth be told sis, once a kid grows up and he/she sees you being maltreated by his/her father
but still you tolerate such cruelty, you'll end up having your child lose any respect for you.
How can your child respect you when you yourself don't give a tinge of self-worth to begin with?

Hope you'll gain more strength in facing your dilemma sis.
God bless.

mao lagi sis, one of my fears now kay what if ma-buntisan sad to nya ang isa. galisod ko sakong situation kay iya rang family ug ako ang nakabalo re the other girl. recently lang sad nakabalo iyang family.. lisod bitaw kaayo magpa-as if okay mi maskin dili. right now if i ask him, iya ra tubah almost always kay "im not yet ready". i am so tired na nga sige lang paasahon unya kytob ra sa storya, wlay buhat but wa ko kabalo if dapat let go na dapat ASAP or should i push myself to the limits pra walay regrets nga wa nko nabuhat tanan?

- - - Updated - - -

sa akong tanaw sis murag dli na giud na matagam lakiha. the thought lang na 2 iyang nabuntisan at the same time kay dapat matagam na. kung wala gani siya nahadlok anang hitaboa kay murag dli na giud na siya mahadlok sa miski unsa.
mayta maminaw ka sa tambag na ikaw na dapat mu palayo kay ma liwat unya na imong bata anang iyang amahan. dapat pd para dli siya (imo bata) ma ulaw or mag lagot, dli nalang unta siya makabalo unsay batasan sa iyang amahan na way ayu. tsk tsk.

be strong lang jd for your kid.

my kid is a little girl. girls both sides. mao nah akong stand before ko nanganak, i told him nga kung wala man lang syay plano barogan mi unta di nalang sya magpakita namo kay di ko ganahan mka.establish pa og memories akong anak niya. with our situation now he's been to every milestone of our little girl so far.. ang hate lang nko any is if magbulag njud mi, how do you explain who's dat stranger on the picture? kay honestly i have no plans na magpakita pa mi niya if i decide to leave. sakto ra kaha na?

[beyee]

He handed to you the answer, "he's not ready."
Go for plan B sis, think of your child's future.
If he's big enough for you to leave him to his
gramps then find a job if you don't have one
so in due time, you can stand on your own.

Lisod au na sis, mag agad ka sa tawo na Walay
nada tawn sis... Malooy ka sa imo bata sis.

[pinkhair]

He handed to you the answer, "he's not ready."
Go for plan B sis, think of your child's future.
If he's big enough for you to leave him to his
gramps then find a job if you don't have one
so in due time, you can stand on your own.

Lisod au na sis, mag agad ka sa tawo na Walay
nada tawn sis... Malooy ka sa imo bata sis.

vague kaayo iyang im not yet ready, financial kuno which is dapat di man gud mahimong isyu namo because we both have high paying jobs with commission on the side pa. I earn more than he does and right now murag ako nalay gbuhi sakong anak kay wala sya gahatag unless ingnan. kapoyan ko mag cge og remind kay dba dpat kung love nmu ang isa ka-tao magtimaan man gud ka dapat.

galisod ko sa situation with his family ky na-attach nami sa ilaha, di ko ganahan madamay cla if mag decide nko nga di na magpakita sa amahan sakong anak

[beyee]

What's vague in that?
What else do you need to realize that he has no plans of owning up to his responsibilities sis?
Sorry if I'll be blunt with you sis, it's futile for us to advise you on how you deal with your
problem when you yourself refuse to accept the fact that the guy is no good for a husband nor for
a father even. It's hard when one points out to you the hard fact yet you on the other hand keep
making excuses.

Like I said, it's still on your court ~ whether to leave or stay blind. Just make sure once you stay,
you have no right to complain because you chose to be treated that way when we all know you
and your child deserve more.

Lisod man jud na at first to be away from your in laws but makasabot ra pod na sila. Ang faet if
complacent ra ka sa nahitabo ron. Basta Mao ra ni ako masulti nimo sis k mahulog ra pod ta sige
tuyok2x sa storya.