What to do if your husband to be don't want u to help your family?

[bbnescia]

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abi nimo sis freesoulyra...ingna lang imong bana nga motabang gihapon ka pero ginagmay nalang. sa akong side man gud since wala jd koy work nya ako rang bana... sabot jd mi nga kada sweldo mohatag mi sa akong mama bsan gamay para lang daw pang gasto sa akong mga manghod. nya akoa pud side akong gipasabot nga tabang ra jd mi ginagmay, nya ako pud sila giingnan nga ayaw lang mo cge ngayo kay wala man ko work..sa akong bana man ko ngayo kwarta. naa ra jd na day sa inyong pagsabot sabot sa imong pares pero kung dili siya mosugot paghunahuna nalang kung mao na ba jd kaha ng imong mabana puhon...for me man gud mas maayo tabang ta gamay sa atong pamilya kay kahibaw baya ta nga lisod kaayong panahon karon usa pa dili ta permanente hayahay..wala ta kahibaw nga kita maoy galisod nya sila napud ang motabang ninyo.

[maddox_pitt]

When u will be committed for life to be with the person and now he will clearly tell u na u have to stop helping relatives and family unsa imo buhaton? to let go of him? or to abandon financial help to your family?....ask lang ko mga ideas kay basin sakto cya or sayop ba ko?

depende guru na... ok raman mutabang basta dili lang kaau na wala na sad ang imuhang own family...

pwede mushare?hehe

same happened kc to us..my dad kc is a self-made man..his mom left him to the care of his aunt when my dad was only 6...my grandma and his other siblings lived in Manila since then...my dad was an errand boy in his aunt's house...he also sold goods around the neighborhood just to send him to school...fortunately, he's academically good... so, he finished grade school and high school with honors... at college, he worked as an artist...charcoal was his medium then.....he had other odd jobs as well..so, finally he graduated from college, topped his eng'g board and got hired in a good company in Makati... since he already had a stable job, his mom and other siblings would ask for his help with their finances which was fine with him c0z he was still a bachelor then...in short, he became the breadwinner of the family and the extended family of his siblings..but then he met my mom and they got married...my mom thought my dad would support us just the same... pero lahi diay... my mom was a resident doctor when she had me so at least she had her own money..which supported both of us...gahaman man gud akoang lola...she wants all of my dad's money to herself... at first it was okay..at least my dad still gives something for my milk and all... but when my mom finished her residency she became pregnant with my younger brother...sadly she had a difficult pregnancy so she had to stop working for sometime.... my dad brought us all to Manila to live with him.. it would've been a great idea...but when we were there...lahi man diay ako lola... she kept my dad's money to herself...there was even a time when i had no milk for a whole day.... it pissed off my dad pero same man japon..his money goes to my lola because accdg to my lola, we still live with her in her house...i think it's one of my earliest memory..my lola said something like "kumakain na naman yan eh...pakainin niyo ng lugaw"
so my parents decided to find a house for us to live...problem was, every time they try to visit a prospective house, my grandma would barge in..daghan ra ang reason...kesyo ganyan at ganun... and in almost every time, we'd all end up going to my aunt's house in Caloocan... and there, my aunt would treat my yaya as her maid...sige ug sugo bisag unsa na lang.. so i'd end up in my mom's care who was then pregnant nga.... same cycle goes.... so finally, just before my mom gave birth (as in 2 wks before giving birth), she called her brother and asked him to send us money for our plane tickets... the day we left my grandma even asked my mom about my dad...she was like "pano na si (my dad)"? and my mom's answer was like "ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya...iwan ko na siya sa yo"... then we went home...
my dad followed soon after that...he thought we just went home because of my uncle's wedding...but after two months of being away my mom finally said she won't come back anymore.... i think my dad stayed in Manila for two more years before finally going home... ang nakabati, kay even if he was home, his money does not go to us..or at least gamay ra ang naa namo... my mom pays for our bills japon..i think my dad only paid for our tuition when we were in HS and part of our college.. siya japon ang musend ug money sa ako mga cousins and his siblings sad bisag makatrabaho man unta sila..... it's as if they dont have a backbone and they'll only depend on what my dad is giving them... it's actually fine with me, with us... what we just dont like is the fact that they are asking for too much, too much na dili na mi intawn katagamtam sa kanindot sa life...ang focus sa akong papa sila man dili na nuon kami...there was even a time, we were in the car and i was asking my dad for a load...he said he doesn't have money... pero laliman ka, after a while na'y nitext..when my dad got out of the car to get something i got his phone and read the message... ang akong tiya diay ug ig-agaw nangayo ug load...then moments later my dad came back and gave me 300 pesos...ingon dayon siya, "Palit ug 200 and 100 na load niya i scratch daan i send sa imung auntie ug ig-agaw".... i was really hurt...kay anak ko niya bisag 30 man lang wala nihatag...niya sa uban nuon naa... simple lang na na sitch pero it happened alot in different ways... it saddens me...it saddens us... even up to now my dad still supports them...although di na kaayo kay nakagawas naman ug Pinas ang akoang duha ka.ig.agaw.... i guess part of the reason why i pursued my post grad is para mafeel sad nako na musuporta ang ako-ang papa....
faet*** when i was in grade5 i think, my grandma and my uncle went home to live with us... ato na time galisod ang akoang auntie sa Manila... niya mutan-aw na sila sa ref niya usually naa jud na'y sulod kay kami sa akong manghod di ma jud mi laagan, naa ra mi sa balay..so magstock jud ang akoang mama...dayon muana dayon na akong lola kayo maraming pagkain dito, sila dun wala and they say it in a voice that's as if telling you "you dont deserve this life"... it came to worst when my dad and mom almost separated... i think that was the start of our messy family life... my grandma and uncle left the house pero just the same, sige ra japon sila ug salig sa akoang papa... and to think my uncle's my dad's younger brother...which meant he still can work..samot na ato na time..bata pa siya ato..mga late 20's or early 30's...

[gcc4426]

i think its not being selfish. nagpakasal gud ka to live ur own life wid him. i mean, gusto ba ghapon ka musalo sa imung pamilya...? kung mao man gni na, wa nlng unta ka nagpakasal. say may punto?

pwd tngali mutabang pero dli prmintihay. di man sd tngali na nimo obligasyon ky naa na gud kay kaugalingong pamilya.

[vanix09]

hmm.. for some points sakto sad jud ang soon to be hubby kay the moment man gud mu sud nakas marriage life, ang inyo ng future inyong atimanon.. pero helping is good man pud.. ambot.. di kaau ko ka explain.. hehe.. XD

[freesoulyra]

thanks sa ng share ug inputs ...well lets see ako try na dili na support sako family if makaya rba nila coz i want to have my own life na pod....

[beerlight]

When u will be committed for life to be with the person and now he will clearly tell u na u have to stop helping relatives and family unsa imo buhaton? to let go of him? or to abandon financial help to your family?....ask lang ko mga ideas kay basin sakto cya or sayop ba ko?

..sayop jd xa oi..
family gd na nmu..
mutabang jd ka.. bsag gnagmay lng gd..
kung magkadayon mn gai mu,
dakong gubot jd ng in.ana n issue..
labi na if nahan jd ka mtabang
nya imung husband to be kai mejo gamayon
ug utok..

well, anyway.. kelangan lng jd na nnU storyaan..
bsn, na.worry lng pd xa ba na bsn ang sweldo
nya kai adto rpd mpunta sa imung family..
if n.ana jd iyang concern...
pagtalk lng jd mo..

[jbass]

Depende sabot ninyo sa imung bana. Pero kung ginagmay lang kay ok raman pero if lahe na natabang kay murag lisud naman gud na kay naa na baya mo pamilya..

When u will be committed for life to be with the person and now he will clearly tell u na u have to stop helping relatives and family unsa imo buhaton? to let go of him? or to abandon financial help to your family?....ask lang ko mga ideas kay basin sakto cya or sayop ba ko?

[APRILiiciious]

It depends with the situation.. Okay raman mutabang pero ug kung kanunay na sad dili na sad siguro maayo, syempre minyo na gud ka. Walay problema ug daghan kay kag kwarta. Hehe storyae nag maayo ninyo sa imong partner. Syempre anak man gud ka, natural lang jud nga mutabang ka sa imong pamilya basta di lang pud sila grabe mangabusar.

[cuteboy_kahoy]

TS if your mommy and daddy still can handle a small business why not talk to your future husband to give your family a small capital to give them enough money for everyday expenses and beside businessman/women gud mo teach them how to handle the money...and if your brother/sister are still in school mas ok kung college na atleast ma gaan nimo og part-time job kung need inyong business or sa laing kaila na nanginahanglan....kinds of help...."small capital, understanding, patience, with love"....


TS try to ask this to your future husband if his happy that your parents raise you well and give their blessing to both of you?"

if nag problem jud ka kung mo give up ka nya nya hadlok ka ala laing parehas nya...aw tingali wala na parehas nya pero naay daghang laki na kamao mo balance sa imong situation og kamao mo sabot og mo treat sa imong family na iya na sad kadugo....but if forever na jud magsalig imong family sa imo dili na sad maayo.....


ask lng ko dato imong bf?? kung dato sya aw dili jud na sya kasabot sa imong situation..