Dear Mama,
Today makes a year since I last laid my eyes on you and kissed your sweet cheeks. I miss you so much. The pain never ends, I know you are in Heaven now with Jesus and God BUT I still need you so much. I’m happy you’re not in pain anymore BUT I really need you so much. My life has fallen apart since losing you. Some days I wonder if it’s even worth going on. I sit and try to remember the good times and it makes me miss you even more. I love you so much. This is ripping my heart out Mama. Why did you have to leave me all alone in this cruel world. I get so mad at God sometimes for taking you from me. You were only 40. I need you mama! I know your pain was Great. Heart Disease plus Diabetes is a cruel way to die. BUT I can’t get passed seeing you die and the pain I saw u go through...You were brave I’m not sure I can be..You were more than my mom you were my best friend. I don’t know IF you can hear my prayers at night or me talking to u telling u goodnight and I love and miss you BUT I hope u can. U didn’t deserve the life u had. You deserved so much more. I’m trying to be strong.
Please mama IF it’s at all possible Please share some of your strength with me and help me. I pray to god all the time BUT it’s like he isn’t listening. I depend on you. You were always my rock. Now I feel so lost, so alone. I remember as a kid all u taught me and I still hear your voice saying “Karen u got to move forward Not backward”. BUT it’s not easy. I wanted so bad to be at your grave today so I could talk to. Please forgive me for being weak. I love u and miss u so much. I want so much to have your arms around me again/ having u kiss the top of my head and saying “Karen its gonna be ok”. I don’t feel like it’s ever going to be ok again. Ma, I’m sorry I’m NOT strong like you were. I am TRYING to keep all my promises to you.. I want to be with you again. I cry so much, I cant help it. I know u didn’t believe in crying, BUT it’s so hard now days. I want one last time of being with you and hearing you talk, seeing your face light up, Feeling your love. All the pictures in the world can’t take ur place. I still need u Mama. I know I’m 22 years old and should be able to handle it all BUT I can’t, I need you!!!!!! I’m sorry if I ever let u down.. I will promise to be a good mother to my daughter, like what you are to me. I will close this letter for now. My tears are blocking my typing....I love and miss you mama. I’m so sorry you had to die........id trade my life for yours any day, if only it worked that way, I’d gladly die so u could live pain free.. Happy Mother's Day.. I love you and will always do..
Love always Your baby girl.
Kaiy
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<Mother's Day Special> post mo dri sa inyung greetings! tribute to all mothers.