cool operator's cool comedy!

[Tin_Tin]

---

wooot hehehe...

[miss tapya]

nyahahahhaa..... timing pa jud nga naa ko close friend nga Janjan ang palayaw amo sad tawgon og dodong janjan... atert!

its soooooooo funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyy that i almost cry out loud!

[blackmagic]

hala si father hehehehe

[cool_operator]

Special Question

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that
on each Friday, she will ask a special question to the class and anyone who
answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday. On the
first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?"
Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?"
and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next
Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.

So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The
next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just
when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to
the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room.

Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire
class starts laughing.

The teacher says, " Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"

Little Johnny was thinking of black testicles...
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"

[cool_operator]

One day little Johnny's teacher decided to play a spelling game
where she give a letter of the alphabet and the kids have to spell
a word starting with that letter and then use it in a sentence.

Starting with A, Little Johnny's hand is continually in the air,
but the teacher ignores him, because she afraid he'll be crude.
"Yes, Susan?" says the teacher.

"Miss, A is for Ape, A-P-E, An ape likes bananas" says Susan.

"Excellent " says the teacher, and proceeds through the alphabet.
When she reaches F, she looks around, determined, under no
circumstances to call on Little Johnny. Finally, Mary raises her
hand.

"Yes Mary."

"F is for Fairy F_A_I_R_Y, they're little girls who live among
the flowers," says Mary.

"Great" says the teacher, "next is G".

Only little Johnny has his hand up so the teacher thinks about it
and decides G is a 'safe' one.

"Yes Johnny?"

"Miss, G is for Gnome G-N-O-M-E. A Gnome lives among the flowers
too."

"Excellent, Johnny!" exclaims the teacher, very happy that for
once little Johnny wasn't out of line.

"Yes Miss, and I even know what Gnomes do best!"

"And what is that," asks the teacher.

"They're best at f u cking the Fairies!" replies Johnny.

[cool_operator]

Three guys, a Canadian, an Iraqi and an Israeli are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.


The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

The Iraqi was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Iraq, so that no infidels, Christians or Jews, can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Iraq.

Izzy Goldberg, the Israeli asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out."

Izzy says, "Fill it up with water."

[dredd41v576]

hehehe. dumot man.

[cool_operator]

Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula ng letter A
Pare: approachable?
Bobo: mali
Pare: amiable
Bobo: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige, sirit na nga
Bobo: Anest

Isang binatilyo pumasok sa isang gay bar. Nalaman ng nanay niya at nagalit
Nanay: ano naman ang nakita mo dun na di mo dapat makita?
Binatilyo: si tatang po gumigiling

Policeman arresting a prostitute
Prosti: I am not selling ***
Police: Then what are you doing?
Prosti: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms with free demo.

Bush: What are the pollutants in your country?
Jingoy: We have lots of pollutants....we have sisig, kilawin, chicharon, mani
Erap: Anak, may nakalimutan ka, Boy Bawang (cornik).

Tindero: Hoy, bili ka gatas ng baka? 10 piso lang isang baso
Manong: Ang mahal naman, may tig piso lang nyan?
Tindero: Meron po, pero kayo na po ang dumede sa baka.

Pasyente: Dok, bakit po ganito ang operasyon sa ulo ko? Halos kita na utak ko
Doctor: Ok lang yan, yan ang tinatawag na open minded.

A naked girl rode on a taxi
"Bakit" asked the girl at the driver na nakatitig sa katawan nya
"Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad?"
Driver: "Hindi po miss, iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago pamasahe mo"

Wife shouting..... "Honey magimpake ka na, nanalo ako sa lotto"
Husband: "Wow, anong dadalhin ko?"
Wife: "Wala akong pakialam basta lumayas ka na"

Pare 1: 'Pare, magkaiba medyas mo, isang pula at isang azul'
Pare 2: 'Ewan ko nga kung saan nabili ng misis ko ito. May isa pa nga
akong pares na ganito rin and kulay sa bahay'

Juan: 'Itay, ang classmate ko madamot.
Tatay: 'Bakit naman?'
Juan: 'Di man lang nya ako inimbita sa libing ng tatay nya...
Nakakain sana ako ng kornik....
Di ko rin siya iimbitahin sa libing mo itay
ha....'

Beauty contest.....
Emcee: What's the big problem facing the country today?
Contestant: Drugs.
Emcee: Very good, why do you say that?
Contestant: Ang mahal kasi eh!

Amo: Bakit ka umiiyak?
Katulong: Sabi po ni dok tatanggalan po ako ng butlig.
Amo: Butlig lang iiyak ka na...
Katulong: Kasi ok lang kung right lig or left lig lang po pero bakit
naman butligs pa.....wah wah wah

Doc: Ano trabaho mo hija?
Girl: Substitute po.
Doc: Hindi kaya prostitute?
Girl: Hindi po, mama ko po ang prostitute at kung may sakit siya ako po yung substitute....

Doc: For your health, take only a cup of rice, lean meat and a saucer
of kangkong. Fruits for dessert and lots of juice....
Fat guy: Doc, shall I take them before or after meals?

Nahuling may kodigo ang estudyante...
Guro: Ano 'to?
Estudyante: Prayer ko po, ma'am!
Guro: At bakit answers ang nakasulat?
Estudyante: Naku! Sinagot na ang prayers ko!

Nakaamoy si Ngongo ng pabango sa isang store.
Sabi ni Ngongo, "Ale, mango!"
Sabi naman ng saleslady, "Pabango 'yan, hindi alimango!"
Ulit ni Ngongo, "Ale, mango!"
Nag-agawan si Ngongo at ang saleslady sa pabango.
Nahulog ang pabango at nabasag.
Sabi ni Ngongo, "Ale, masag!"

Dumalaw si GMA sa mental hospital...
Dok: Let's welcome President Arroyo!
Pumalakpak lahat ng pasyente maliban sa isa na nasa sulok...
GMA: O, dok, bakit 'yung isa, hindi pumalakpak?
Dok: Ma'am, magaling na po siya!


Pulubi: Boss, palimos po.
Tonyo: Iinom ka o magyoyosi?
Pulubi: Wala po akong bisyo.
Tonyo: Okey. Sumama ka sa akin para malaman ng nanay ko ang nangyayari
sa taong walang bisyo

Anak: Tatay, hindi ako makatulog, kasi, maraming lamok!
Tatay: Papatayin natin ang ilaw para hindi tayo makita.
(Pagpatay sa ilaw, dumating ang mga alitaptap...)
Anak: Hala ka, Tatay, nagdala sila ng flashlight!

Kulas: Miss, isa ngang siopao, 'yung babae.
Waitress: Babaeng siopao?
Kulas: Oo. 'Yung may papel na sapin. Kumbaga, napkin.
Waitress: Ahh, ganun po ba? Lalaki po ang nandito.
Kulas: Lalaki?
Waitress: May itlog po sa loob.

[abuot]

eheheh

[kent666]

nice one!