Dili magkasinabot ang imong asawa ug imong mother...what would you do?

[ivymarie]

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just be there for both of them. share your side..... tell them your sentiments regarding that matter.

[DebutsAndIDos]

sometimes, just live the life the way it is. i visit my parents w/out my wife. ok ra basta dili lang confrontational ang away coz lahi na ang sitwasyon kung mahitabo na. but if i were to chose, i'll chose my mother rather than my sick wife in case your wife is sicker than your mother, hehehe..., IMHO lang.

Sorry, I dont agree.

My mom and my lola (dad's mother) dont always get alomg. Usually, he takes his mother's side.
I have to admit, it hasn't been a healthy example for us kids.

If a guy will side with his mother instead of his wife, the wife will feel neglected and this will reflect on the family dynamics, including the kids. But, if the guy will side with his wife, the mother will be forced to be humble kay mingawon man sa mga apo.

In my experience with my lola, if the guy always sides with the mother, mugara man ang mama. She has to learn her place, dili na siya ang pinaka-important woman in her son's life.

As a daughter, I definitely wanted to see my mother treated with more respect from her husband and my lola. MY mom would lower her pride but my lola would just continue to look down on her and be rude to her. Then, one time, napuno na akong mama, so she stood up for herself. She and her kids (us) dili na mubisita niya. So then my lola also tempered down and behaved herself better.

I have a son and I would hate to be isolated from him. But, the Bible says, 'For this reason, a man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife. And they will become one flesh'.

When a man chooses a girl and marries her, he makes a commitment to honor her above all other women, including his mother.

*sigh! That's why, even though my son is only 2, I am already praying for his wife. That he will have wisodm and discernement in choosing a wife, and that there will be peace between her and me.

For me, a mother should fight her son about his choice before he gets married. After na makasal na na sila, naa na man na, wala na siya'y mabuhat. She should set the example because she is older and try to get along.

Oh, well, good luck nalang and God bless sa imong case,

[n`gel]

Yay I totally agree... honor your wife above all other women including your mother. Pero may pud gyud nang magkasinabot sila daan pero ug dili gyud I agree with debuts.

[rey04]

I used to be the closest to my mom rather than my siblings. its my own way of thanking my mom who has never done wrong on my marriage. its my own way of disciplining my wife who eagerly wants to own all my time and effort. I had to balance things out and i decided no to totally abandon my parents. for me, one can have so many wives rather than a losing a single parent. daghan ikapuli nga asawa ang inahan usa ra.

that case is only applicable if my wife is sicker than my mother but if its vice versa then i would be on my wife's side and teach my own mother on ethics.

as of now my method was working and my wife realizes what i mean. that the love from a man to his mother is different from the love to his wife. as of now everything is well and understood by both sides. it takes leadership to know whos wrong and whos right and where would be the man stand when the conflict arises.

[n`gel]

Well sakto pud na @Rey... that's good to hear.

[rey04]

Nice story to ponder...pls read on......


The First Lady in My Life



After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.

"I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.

"But I love YOU," I protested.

"I know, but you also love her."

The other woman my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who thinks a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited at the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress she wore to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu to her. Her eyes could only read large print. Halfway through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.

A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time for you to relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary – but catching up on recent events of each other's lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" my wife asked when I got home.

"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and giving our loved ones the time they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off until "some other time".

Someone once said, "I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life." I think this is true with your in-laws, grandchildren, sisters, brothers and your friends – anyone who means something to you. You should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can.

[Zahara]

Thank God, i don't have this kind of problem kay stressful kaayo ni.

My MIL is very accomodating and approachable. She is very supportive. Although naa siyay mga batasan na dili ko ganahan, tolerable pa man. Ako pud, as a daughter, i always try to be pleasant and patient with her. Even if muabot sa point na mag-away mi, dili jud ko mutubag. 'Coz i respect her as a person. I know i would hurt my husband's feelingsif dili mi magkasinabot. Since im younger, ako na lang mangitag way, akoy magpaubos. And that's how it should be. :mrgreen:

[tagatisa]

let it be, there is nothing u can do about it. ang lisod ana ug naa mo puyo kuyog ni mama.
nagminyo man ka, imong responsibilad paghatag ug pinuy-anan sa imong pamilya.
sa among pamilya or mga ig-agaw, walay nagminyo nga wa kapabuhat ug balay. magminyo gani, maglahi jud na.

[sheka]

more patience... try para ma ok sila... lisod ng d sila magka sinabot

[syangi]

Ayyy. mo agree gyud ko nimo @Zahara.. pareha tah!! :mrgreen: anah man gyud guro ang dapat paray walay gubot.. and ang naka good thing lang sa ako na case is my husband is only child.. so wla sad koy lain inLaws na mka deal..