since the breakup, i've become indifferent

[alterego]

---

several moons have drifted, and i still feel the same. my mind has been aimlessly wandering.
its been almost 3 years. and i have moved on, yes. nadawat na nako tanan. but as i tread along during those times, i've notice a change in me.

di nako hilig makigtagay sa akong mga kaila, panagsa na lang mulaag, and i can't seem to find light jokes as funny like i see them before. i've become introverted, contrary to what i was before.

i've been constantly wearing masks, para dili ko nila kaluy-an nga ingani ko ron.
my co-workers think nga im busy with my life with other friends maong panagsa rako kuyog nila, wherein truth, sa kwarto ra akong padulngan kada uli. i have no social life.

i drenched myself in focusing on my job alone, ngita'g sideline jobs despite nga dako akong sweldo, just to keep myself from idling. yes, mawagtang imong kalaay, pero mubalik ra sad cya.


my ex-gf is about to be married on November this year, and im very happy nga ingana na cya ron.
i try not to feel pity on myself, but i always question myself kung unsa akong mga plano sunod.

"ikaw, mag unsa man ka?"

[kuyabog]

^^ are u invited to her wedding? i warn you, that will be so VERY painful. i know, i did.

wearing a mask to hide the pain is your way of coping. and that is good, others commit suicide.

[alterego]

yes. but i told her nga tanawn lng nako.
i know nga i can stand it seeing them, dili magsakit akong dugan. i mean, i don't have any issues with her na. i let her go na dugay na. and im very much willing to attend it kung bakante ko.


what i can never endure is....kanang mangutana sila nga kumusta nako? how i've been doing.
that would make me feel like a pitiful specimen. baw lang gyud bai. i don't want to them to see me like in a "luoya sad nimo" expression. you know, ego issues.



kanus-a pa kaha ko makakita ug lain. la sad ko gana mangita.

[kuyabog]

i believe you are on the better track, getting busy with jobs, and saying "dili magsakit akong dughan" seeing her on that altar getting wed with another, means you are over her.

get back to ur old self, you find life once again. sulking in your own room is just going to add to the "luoya sad nimo" projection you have about you.

[yiennahs]

don't worry the right one will come along

don't let your love life ruin your whole self geng
depression can be overcome by you and you alone
so what are you waiting for?
make a choice
be happy

[Tristan25]

Don't worry TS the perfect person is just out there.

[alterego]

i may be depressed, but i never let it rule over me. and im not suicidal either.
it's just that mingaw kayo akong lugar, gimingawan ko sa akong kalibutan. and for 3 years ni ha...i've lost contact with friends, most of them have got tired in inviting me kay ako mang i decline. i just don't feel like going. i only see them in facebook.

im very much satisfied sa naabtan nako karon, but im not happy.
and i still cant find the reason how to be. im getting impatient. hehe

[SeptemberII]

think about the bright side lang gud bai. wa ta kabaw di jud siya para imo. hinumdumi jud nga if God closes His door, He will surely open His windows. mao jud na ang nahitabo nako. socialize pud bai para mawala imong ka laay. tabangan man jud ka sa imong friends ana nga mo recover ba

[yiennahs]

i may be depressed, but i never let it rule over me. and im not suicidal either.
it's just that mingaw kayo akong lugar, gimingawan ko sa akong kalibutan. and for 3 years ni ha...i've lost contact with friends, most of them have got tired in inviting me kay ako mang i decline. i just don't feel like going. i only see them in facebook.

im very much satisfied sa naabtan nako karon, but im not happy.
and i still cant find the reason how to be. im getting impatient. hehe

simple ra jud
find someone

[kuyabog]

i may be depressed, but i never let it rule over me. and im not suicidal either.
it's just that mingaw kayo akong lugar, gimingawan ko sa akong kalibutan. and for 3 years ni ha...i've lost contact with friends, most of them have got tired in inviting me kay ako mang i decline. i just don't feel like going. i only see them in facebook.

im very much satisfied sa naabtan nako karon, but im not happy.
and i still cant find the reason how to be. im getting impatient. hehe

from a view point of psychiatry, these are the statements of someone in a state of denial!
alter ego indeed...