CaLLCenTeR BLooPeRs

[cearism]

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Agent: Can I have your complete name?
Cx: (lisud kaayo ug name) Nebuchadnezzar Wojtyla.
Agent: Uhhh... Do you have another name aside from this?
Cx: What?

[VinRex]

very humble customer: u know, im not very good at computers, u need to steep down to my level.
agent: sure, don't u worry sir, i will walk you through and make it as easy as possible. so how can i help you today?
very humble customer: i just want you to teach me how to direct the DNS traffic to my server which is on virtualization.
agent: (mute) @t@y! @#$%^&*(), unsaon kaha ni?

paytera ani oi...humble pa kaayu, pero ang agent di di ay kamao.

[mickaela]

ako ako ako

while doing my own calls.. my co-agent has a really loud voice...

agent: hi good day this is ___. im calling on behalf of ____. blah blah blah...(opening spiel)

customer: not interested

agent: namugos..take 1..action..but perhaps sir you might be interested on this and want to take advantage for our 1 month free trial...

customer: no, not interested still (going to hang-up)...

agent: namugos.. take 2.. action.. just give me one minute si to walk you through with this offer.. this trial we are offering is specially offered to selected people (hala buot2x nah..! ni simang na sa rebuttals.. mamugos much?)

seatmate nga agents: giggling... and whispering..then the agent goes on with his rebuts in a very loud voice..

customer: are you having a conference there?

agent: oh No Sir, as i have mentioned this offer is a way to increase your sales as you will be on the priority listing.. (other atik atik boret..)

customer: ok.. your good might as well try it..(bang na dani lageh!)

hahaha.. swerti wala na monitor kay bag-o lang siya nahuman sa monitoring turn niya...

[mickaela]

kani kani

me: just to very your e-mail address it would be ______..

og sa dihang ako nang gi spell niya using the phonetics..(i'll just mention a few of the letters..)

me: a for alpha.., customer:u mean apple?.., me: yes sir as in apple..

me: f for foxtrot.., customer:as in fairy?.., me: yes sir.., customer:ok go on

me: j for juliet.., customer:u mean jar, ryt? me:yes sir correct

me: z for zulu.., customer: zulu?.. me: z as in zebra sir.. customer: ohw ok!

gi ahak nah! kinder style sad ni iya...

[yencortes]

how i miss my days as a call center agent.. ;p

from an online source:
Agent: “Thank you for calling [mobile carrier's name]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I have an issue with my iPhone.”
Agent: “I will be happy to help you. What is the issue with your iPhone?
Customer: “It’s just that when I turn it on, the apple on the screen appears bitten. Is that okay?”

[endlessknight]

Well, my supervisor was coaching my teammate about customer empathy. He wanted to show the agent how to get a call right. Feeling confident about his abilities, he told my teammate that he will take the next call as an agent.

Supervisor: Hi, my name is ***, how can I help you.
Customer: Hi, I'm **** and I need help with my computer.
Supervisor: What operating system are you using?
Customer: Windows XP.

Call goes on for a couple of minutes, when suddenly my supervisor stood up.

Me: What's wrong, ***?
Supervisor: WTF! The customer is asking for a supervisor!

Bang. Mao na.

[okimura]

hahahahahaha...

[okimura]

how i miss my days as a call center agent.. ;p

from an online source:
Agent: “Thank you for calling [mobile carrier's name]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I have an issue with my iPhone.”
Agent: “I will be happy to help you. What is the issue with your iPhone?
Customer: “It’s just that when I turn it on, the apple on the screen appears bitten. Is that okay?”

kani ang nindot...!!!!

[fejazir]

my share...

Tech: Can you press 'P' sir?
Cust: What 'P'?
tech: the letter P sir
cust:where's the letter P
tech: (na-irate na) P! P on your keyboard sir
Cust: What? (suko2 pa)
tech: P! P on your keyboard?!
cust: what?! (suko na jud) I'm not going to do that!

Hahaha...bugo jud...ambot nganong iyang sabot ky naabot sa 'pee on your keyboard'..pagka-amaw!

[fejazir]

naa pa jud usa...

tech: Hi thank you for calling yada-yada-yada. This is 'tech' speaking.
Cust: Hi there. How are you?
tech: I'm good sir. Thanks for asking. Can I ask you a question sir?
cust: Uhh.. (naglibog ngano) sure!
tech: How may I help you today?
cust: uhhh?

heheehehe...