He's my best friend... but then he loves me

[ulyssa_marie]

murg na in love naman ang TS sa iyang best friend ani pero she doesn't know it yet

haha no no. I see him as a she-best friend. Us girls, we see each other like sisters.

So between him and I, i look at him like a sibling. I dont even put a gender to it..

thinking about yourself falling in love with your sibling feels.... morally and ethicially wrong right? that's the emotion i feel when i think about the possibility of me and him -- it just feels wrong. I can't even entertain the thought.

[bowee]

haha you sound like my bf scolding me. he told me the same thing.

I see him like a best friend, in that manner where its like a she-best friend. I know that's not fair since he's not a girl, but i see him like a sibling. There was a time at the begining of the friendship when i was confused by that emotion, where i thought that maybe i MIGHT be developing romantic feelings for him, but over time, i realized that it was just that feeling of a sibling. I determined that and treated him that way.

I don't entertain his affection either. I simply brush it off as if i he didnt do anything. (he doesnt do anything phsycial by the way, just the sweet talk , etc)

i dont understand though why he keeps at it. Its obvious that i dont react nor accept, and yet it doesnt stop. what benefit is ther?? I have minimized my time with him though. he is pretty upset but he told me upfront that things wont be like it were.

To others that ive consulted, they say that it's just my nature of being "too nice" and not being able to say "no" to people coz i tend to empathize.

My bf is my main priority so i wouldnt do anything to betray that bond, thus ive minimized contact with my friend. I know in time he'll get over it...

you just cant help but feel guilty.. you know?

@TS

being too nice is okay.. just don't apply it generally to guys.... why? because it could send mix signals to us.... A girl is too nice and too comforting, can give mixed notion to guys as two things...

One: (POSITIVE) that she is well friendly and is a good natured bubbly
girl...

OR (Negatively) that she is a soft nose girl....

Again, feeling for your friend's plight is okay.. but don't ever make the notion that your leading him on.. to his feelings for you. I know your just treating him as a younger brother or a 'kuya'.. BUT then again... to a guy's point of view.... you being too nice and comfy to him, would allow him to have feelings for you in the long run.

I guess this friend of yours doesnt have any GF by the looks of it sa?? or else he wouldn't be acting this way jud...

Anyway... as confucious said.. A journey of a thousand miles... begins with one step....

Learn to take that step... to be strong and learn not to empathize to the feelings of others... remember.. being nice is okay.. but 'TOO NICE'? hmmmm.. it would cast a cloud to a guy jud.. not just your guy friend.. but to any guy you would meet eventually (other than your bf)...


Good luck TS

[ulyssa_marie]

@TS

Learn to take that step... to be strong and learn not to empathize to the feelings of others... remember.. being nice is okay.. but 'TOO NICE'? hmmmm.. it would cast a cloud to a guy jud.. not just your guy friend.. but to any guy you would meet eventually (other than your bf)...


Good luck TS

i honestly didn't know the effects on being too nice to guys... nor did i imagine it to be that confusing. So perhaps i am at fault as well for not being aware of it.

Note to self... only be "too nice" to gurly friends, and moderately nice to guy friends.. haha

Thank you for your advice. I shall put it in mind and into practice.

very enlightening

[bowee]

------

[yndai]

i think TS likes her guy bestfriend pero dili lang siya mo angkon. malouy ka niya, d nimo carry na mawala siya coz u have feelings for him naman. though friend ra imong tan aw niya pero sa imong subconcious mind, like na nimo imo guy friend.

[ulyssa_marie]

i think TS likes her guy bestfriend pero dili lang siya mo angkon. malouy ka niya, d nimo carry na mawala siya coz u have feelings for him naman. though friend ra imong tan aw niya pero sa imong subconcious mind, like na nimo imo guy friend.

Dili. Please scroll up for my earlier replies. I see him as a she-best friend (even though guy sya).

And u know us girls, we see each other as sisters. So for me, when i look at him, i see a sibling. My feelings for him are exactly the same as the way i look at my brothers or girl best friends.

I can't even imagine the emotion of romantically liking him. It feels ethically and morally wrong jud.

[LeeLeePot]

i understand you on this part TS having a she-bestfriend once upon a time who went overboard and said he has feelings for me...i told him that we could only be bestfriends since i see him as my twin brother and i feel that would be incest if i said yes to him...he knew the rules but he got tired of it and he transferred to another school...maybe you have to give your bff a time off...i'm not saying you'd push him away but tell him to take a trip or go somewhere or continue his night life and not think about you for a second..it would be great if you'd lessen the phone talks and the meet ups...you could also introduce a few girl friends of yours that MIGHT deviate his attention from you.

[meltd0wn]

ka-relate ko sa side sa guy da..hahaha!!actually, just recently, na-close sad ko sa akng female friend..ako pd nahimu niyang confidante..samot na katong nagbuwag sila sa iyang uyab..pero even during the breakup, she would still go out with her uyab..pero at the same time, we also hang out always..to the point na mura na gyud lagi daw mig nag-date..so at some point murag nag-expect ko ug "something" from her..pero love jd ata kaayu niya iyang ex until recently na nagbalik sila..i think ang difference lng namu TS sa imung guy friend is that wa jd naku gi-totally drown akng self sa akng female friend (luod mn ang girlfriend paminawn gd..haha!!)..i know where i stand, and kibaw ko and i accepted the fact na naa pa siyay feelings sa iyang uyab..wa lng sad ko ksabot sa problema sa imung best friend ha, pero dpat jd na siya mkasabot na naa kay uyab..i think you are not at fault here..

[Chedot]

Sa akoa lang TS, maayo palayo sa sa imo friend. . Ako tan-aw iya hunahuna ron nag dahum siya na mausab pa imo feelings para niya and your current bf lumalabay lang. Sa uban pa, "Ang mag-antus, ma Santos. Ang magdugay and mulahutay, maglipay!". .

Nag sinakitay ra mo sa inyo kaugalingon, TS. Nasakitan imo friend kay dili nimo madawat iya gugma. Nasakitan pud ka kay gibalibaran nimo siya.

Or worst pa jud. Nag ginamitay ramo. .

[pboi]

hala noh! mas maayo tingali istoryahan nimo sya imu ingnon nga friends rajud mo.