Torn by Trouble between me and my partner's family!

[azz_gurL]

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me and my partner are not yet officially married right now, we're cool though with the fact that we are committed to one another its just that we dont have the blessing from God almighty

my problem started when his parents start manipulating us. overriding us with our decisions over household and over baby problems. i mean, ok lang ko ana.. its just that moabot ang time na, ma feel na nku na they no longer respects us in terms of decision making.

i grew up to be a very independent person and its really a nightmare to have someone always telling you what to do. for me, sometimes i just would like to give up on our relationship cause i felt so unhappy with his parents around always buzzing us.. i love my partner its just that, man.. his parents are absolutely monsters.

opinions everyone.. c",)

[joshbonz]

you have to take into consideration that even tho you're use to being independent.. you are 'committing' yourself to someone... and being w/ that someone means you have to accept his backgrounds also (family,relatives, etc...)

His family might not know that you we're being raised independently.. (not relying on someone). They are raise differently from yours.. perhaps its in their traits already that they should always mind for the welfare of their son and with their grandchild. After all. its their grandchild also. (their first grandchild?)
they have every right and respect to tend and being trivial about it.

I think it just boils down to you adjusting your 'in-laws'.. after all.. I think, for all married couples and live-ins.. the inlaw are the very ones they have gripes about..

I know, it's normal to gripe in your in-laws.. it just a matter of learning to adjust on your being 'independent' and take things as it is.. don't treat them as annoying but instead work and find ways that you both co-exist w/ each other. I'm pretty sure your in-laws would love to know more of yourself also.. maybe one way you can make them understand is by telling or talking to them jovially that your being raise independently and in as such.. your not quite use with them always running or intruding you and your partner's life.

I'm pretty sure that in time they will learn to understand you and accept and respect your decision. key is.. timing and show to them that you're perfectly capable to run you own family.. w/ their GUIDANCE..

[azz_gurL]

well, ive tried adjusting mn pud with my in laws then murag nanobra na bah.. murag wala na btaw respect sa imoha.. gusto na lng nila ilaha perme masunod jud..

daghan mn gud advice naku na buwagan daw nku ako partner for that reason kay if you keep relying on someone mn gud daw, dli ka mo grow then dli baya forever ang life sa tao.. hes so used to relying on his parents mn gud then i felt sad na dli jud niya makaya if sya lng magbarog on his own.

knowing ha na sya pa nmn ang lalaki.. naabot man gud sa certain point na gusto mi maglain na jud ug puyo. we've stayed in bangkok for a couple of months.. tried to get a job and hopeful to live there forever and then, there was one time na nanawag iya mama na papaulion sya.. pauli pud daun mi.. bati mn gud cause naga depend sya sa iya parents..

[joshbonz]

we'll if his a clingy type.. (totally opposite of what your personality is, i guess..) you really can't do nothing about it than sacrifice nalang...

it just lyk the old adage - when you're in rome, do what the romans do...

You have to accept the fact that your partner is clingy type.. and you have to swallow it like a pill, in your present disposition, that his parents will always be and forever be a shadow on both your lives...

Love is never an easy feeling.. it takes a big leap of faith to accept the things we cannot change. If you really and I mean REALLY love him, you must really be the one to jump borders to accept this things.

Confide to your partner that you are really feeling uneasy much annoyed if his parents would intrude your lives... tell him that you would rather seek guidance from them rather than asking them to meddle your private matters.

If he can do that, then I wish you well... if he can't, then I would suffice to say that you're forever be damn to live w/ the shadows of your in-laws, I sure do hope he is not a weakling and steadfast with his decision in life.. After all he is the foundation of your would be family in the future.

Good luck.

[diem]

@azz_gurl, just to clarify matters, are you and your partner and his parents sharing the same residence under one roof, compound. Are you living in with his parents? Or is his parents living in with you?

[azz_gurL]

hmm. we'r actually living with his parents.. i mean, we wanted to make bukod on our own pero pugngan pugngan mi iya parents then if unsa gane problems occur mamoyboy daun ya parents.. but mind you, we dont depend on them with regard financial matters..

[mydps]

@azz_gurL
your situation is really tough .. but i think it's just a matter of how to ride along with them ... that's basically it

[azz_gurL]

yeah, i know. but i guess am tired na jud. though i love him jud pero i cant take it na he just let his parents mangilabot to us with our problems jud..

[diem]

hmm. we'r actually living with his parents.. i mean, we wanted to make bukod on our own pero pugngan pugngan mi iya parents then if unsa gane problems occur mamoyboy daun ya parents.. but mind you, we dont depend on them with regard financial matters..

Thank you for answering my question.

Then the options for you in order to solve your problem are:

A) Move out of your partner's parents' house no matter what they say. After all, you and your partners are adults and are as you say, financially independent. If your partner really loves you and is a mature man, he would respect your wishes on this matter.

or if you're still set to stay then...

B) Try to get along with them as much as it is humanly possible. Try a heart to heart talk with them if you're up to it. If you're not up to it then just try to be civil with them as long as you reside under their roof.

There are ways to distract yourself from their meddling, just don't take it too seriously, try to apply your sense of humor in most matters related to your partner's parents. If you don't have a sense of humor or you've lost it, I humbly suggest that you purchase or grow one immediately.

The only one you can change truly is yourself, worrying over things and people whom you have no influence over will just kill of years of beauty and happiness in your life.

Wishing you all the best.

[tallthel]

i knw how it feels jd coz ive been thru it na lahi lng ako situation...but maau gni nka overcme najd mi ako huby..he chose me man jd..mas maau jd mg lahi nalng jd mo arn mka lihok mo tnan gusto nnu buhaton w/o ur in-laws....