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With all the political heat, anger and angst around the Politics and Current Events board, I just wanted to share this with everyone, so please do cool down and lighten up! 
Disclaimer: This article expresses the comedic witty opinion of one Joey De Leon, comedian entertainer, and in no way reflects the opinions of the threadstarter or the iStorya.net forums but there is a sincere hope that you do find it funny!
‘Luhod’
From De Leon's Den by Joey De Leon (or J.Dl)
Manila Bulletin, March 12, 2008
http://www.mb.com.ph/ENTR20080312119169.html
I’m sure that some members of media and a lot of the regulars of ASAR (Addict sa Rally) were somewhat disappointed that nothing untoward happened at the 22nd anniversary celebration of the 1986 EDSA People Power and likewise, at the Interfaith rally in Makati last February 29. Bakit kasi ang hihilig n’yo sa gulo eh? Let us just think that whatever happens, mahal pa rin natin ang ating nanay at ang mga sinasabi n’ya na pinaniniwalaan nating katotohanan — in short, truth ng ina n’yo!
Suddenly, everybody’s suffering from a "truthache" — many sectors, organizations and movements seem to be playing god again and "nagmamarunong" on how to run this government. These pseudosaviors and self-proclaimed liberators of the land are becoming to be irritating already. Let’s call them Insectors!
Eto ‘yung mga madaling imbitahin to appear on TV. Kinukunsinti naman nung mga TV station owners lalo na ‘yung kakampi nila. They believe that they have the solutions and answers to our problems. Sila daw ang sagot sa lahat-lahat — in short, mga all-all!
You don’t know anymore who are real and who are just using their TV exposure and stance to promote themselves for 2010. Really, every-body wants to be in showbiz today. Gusto lahat makita sa TV. Some think that through their litter, they could achieve the glorious glitter — in short, o kinang ninyo!
Sometimes, I tend to cede and agree to the idea of just giving each sector a chance to manage and rule the government. Pagbigyan kaya natin, mga one to two years bawat isa — oh yes, para matapos na ang gulo-gulo. Kalimutan muna natin ang mga pulitiko. Pabayaan nating magpatakbo ng gobyerno ang mga pari at madre, militar, mga businessmen, mga estudyante, mga maka-kaliwa at pati ang mga bakla! Pati na ang mga artistang wala nang magawa.
Actually, it was my idea in a material I wrote long time ago for our gag show "TVJ" on Channel 13. The script was about the taking over of government by the gay population — our life under a gayvernment. We even had a name for the presidential palace along the Pasig River which we renamed Papasig River. We called it Malakendeng Palace. The leader would be known as the Head. The gay army was even called Ang Sandatahang Magnanakaw Ng Lakas Ng Pilipinas!
Our form of government would be called Federacion. Our National Anthem would be "Papang Hinirang." The Senate and Congress would be abolished and changed to Houses … of Beauty! All the representatives would be known as Gayvernors. And of course, the cabinet would be known as… the Closet!
And now that the priests and nuns are obviously muscling in their way in these protests and even taking part in some political controversies, sometimes taking the lead, eh di ibigay ang hilig. Here’s a scenario and what we could expect from a "religious" government. All those involved in running the government will be known as Running Priests. Naku, papaano na ngayon si Fr. Robert Reyes? Hindi na n’ya solo ang credits.
The head will be known as a Priest-sident. His veep will follow him around holding the laylayan ng kanyang abito. All the non-catholic organizations will be the new opposition. Meron lang malaking problema: For our taxes, we will have a second collection!
Going back to the idea of a gay administration, I would like to recommend as the new national anthem, instead of "Papang Hinirang," the song from my new album Kagat Labi entitled "Luhod." This is to be sung to the tune of Sugarfree’s "Sugod."
Luhod mga kafatid
Tayo ay magsama-sama
Ipagdasal ang mga bakla
Tayo ay dumami sana
Itabi mo na ang mga pang-ipit
Close the parlor
Stop muna sa paggupit
Tawagan mo na
Si Paula’t Samantha
Tayo’y hahada
Walang kokontra (walang kokontra)
Ilang linggong pinag-ipunan
Ilang ulo ang hinugasan
Waldasin ang lahat ng kita
Sa mga mhin lang mapupunta (bongga!)
(Repeat first stanza/instrumental)
Ngayong gabi ay magsasaya
Maghanap na ‘day ng mga bola (yes, balls!)
Magbasketball tayo mga bruha
Man to man ating laro at dipensa.
(Repeat third stanza)
(Repeat first stanza twice)
To sing this new anthem, I recommend groups like The Chupremes, Old Spice Girls, Both Mamas and the Papas, Gums and Noses and the Pussycock Dolls. These groups are slated to do Baks to Baks concerts. Yes, they won’t stop daw until the world is in a butter place.
I heard that these groups would be performing for free in a show called "A Concert For Jun." This is according to its organ-nizer, the Yoko Ono of the Philippines — Yuko Ulo.
By the way, although they do a lot of kneeling, I don’t recommend "Luhod" to be used by the priests and nuns in their government.
Joey De Leon's Take on Present Politics and Personalities~
What we do in life echoes throughout eternity~ Please support your lokal artists and their efforts to promote the Cebuano identity and culture!
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