Dealing with a LIFE BULLY... Am I traumatized?

[quirkychinita]

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Breathe in... Breathe out....


Okay, have you ever had a childhood bully?

I do... and it was traumatizing!

It was my fourth grade in elementary when I transferred to another school since my family moved to another location. I was the most silent person among my classmates and most of them hang out in groups. Im the type who dont make it a habit to hang out religiously with a group or person. I like to hang out with different people or alone by myself...

Then there's this girl who came into class and was enrolled middle of the year cuz they said she was expelled from her last school for stealing and hurting other kids...actually nibalik raman xa sa same school after xa ma expel. (I just heard those rumors from several kids who hated her which I guess was true cuz she never hang out with anyone but me cuz I guess I never knew her at all and I dont mind what other kids said.)

She was vulgar and she steals and she would lie and even shout back on some older kids. Even makes stories. There was this one time she came to me crying cuz she said she hates our school becuz all kids hated her and hurt her a lot.

Oh yeah, not to mention, she pulls my hair, slams me against doors and takes stuff from me. But one good thing about her is that she protects me from those mean girls at school who picks on me ocassionally cuz we used to own a bar and I was always called a "whore" or a "G.R.O".... wtf.... She would (Ocassionaly) fight for me. Well... She herself calls me a G.R.O too... FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I WAS STILL 12 YEARS OLD!!!! Lolz.. :-p

One day, she was expelled on our school after a year of complaints from kids and parents. I never knew where she is until I graduated gradeschool and enrolled for highschool...

One day (AGAIN!) she came into my house, which surprised me cuz wala nako siya gidala sako balay EVER! Talked to my parents and asked money kay nangutang daw kog BARBIE STICKER nia? WTF!!! ako pud syempre i told my dad wala ko nangutang kay in the first place, my parents gave me everything I needed and Im easily contented.... Kuratan man gani ako mama, pero hatag na lang silag 50 pesos atu nia pero gikuha sakong balon... HUWAAAAH!!! I never saw her again....

Until I was in college when I was riding this jeepney, and it was so congested and I have been carrying BIG NURSING BOOKS and nursing stuff on the other bag, plus two grocery bags.... in short, galisud ko sakong gaingkuran cuz I have a habit of not letting go off my bags when Im in public. there's this fat woman who sat beside me, dala TULOD (She pushed me para naay space saiyang ingkuranan, nya galisud naman gani ko, ako pajud ang una munaug!), so I said "Miss galisud naman ko dari and munaug na ko unahan ra, pwede ka sa unahan, pero since naa naman ka diya gaingkud, ay pud ko ituklod"....

To my surprise, she vulgarily yelled at me na murag gabaligyag isda sa merkado. cursing me and calling me by my real whole name and announced it to everyone....

bawus pud kog pamalikas gamay... but im not good at cursing and being vulgar, so she won.... ulaw kaayo kay everyone was looking at us.... I dont even know her address....

She even said pagnaug nako sa jeep "Di naka maabtan ug adlaw ugma!"


I was scared! I even called my BF at that time atung kami pa to bring him his airsoft and sleep at our house, cuz I was scared na basig balikan ko nia or masig madamay akong parents.... Nothing happened though.



And recently... JUST THIS AFTERNOON when I was waiting for a friend at I.T park, a large woman approached me and asked if I was Iris, I said yes but gaduha duha kog oo. She asked kung karemember bako nia, I said no, she introduced herself... and I recognized her, but I denied and said I dont remember you, nor your name... what's worse, she knows I work at the same callcenter but different accounts..... WTF!!!!! She asked where I lived, My heart was thumping and gipaningut kog ayo bisan gainum nakog pearl milk tea at I-Tea... I said "Sa LAPULAPU", she reacted na nganung layu daw kaayo. wa nako gitubag. I just said, "SORRY HA? MEJO HALAP MAN GUD KO, NALIMTAN NAKOG DALA AKONG EYEGLASSES" ... nangurog najud ko ato, and wa nakoy lain gabuhaton but put my friend's dachsound close to me kay basig hadluk sa iro ang gaga.... huhuhuhuh... she just went on and went back to our office kay break man xa ato....


My GOD! It was awkward and I was so scared that pag abot sakong amigo, pirting lipaya jud nako kay kahilakun nako laych sa kahadluk.... Ingani jud diay ang trauma...

Although, she sounded nice, she is a MARKED WOMAN for me, and she has a history of sudden rage eversince I met her.

question, what do I do if I meet her again? How do I react? have I acted stupid? How do I deal with this?

Kapoy basa noh?


....

[Klave]

Not a bad read at all...

In my case, I was an odd kid, if someone tried bullying me, I end up hurting them seriously. (My inner hulk protects me)
In this case, it might be better to keep up your ignorance act, this is one dangerous B*TCH!!!
I think you tried to act your best with your current composure, and it can only get easier.

Best way to act in front of a confrontational person is no acting, or no movement or less reaction.
If she tries to imply something to try and start the argument, just agree to end the conversation and leave.
On another note though, she is somewhat a fateful person for you, I would not be surprised if you have more episodes with her.

[æRLO]

The firmer your demeanor is, the harder it is for bullies to take you lightly. just don't be abrasive.

TS, is this the same person throughout the different anecdotes?

[Crimson_Viper]

judging on how long your story is.. YEP.! TRAUMATIZING.!

[rAiNe_]

hi girl..

hhmmmm trauma lang jud ka girl pero dont think lang pud nga anyone who would approach you,would hurt you..
kay wa ka kahibalo friend to nimo before ang ni approach nimo and matingala unya why you were acting weird
basin makaingon nga nausab na imong batasan.

Free your mind from thoughts regarding your past . Past is past.. You can't dwell on it. . Basing on your story, what I see is you have planted fear on yourself. I know you need to be cautious , it's understandable being cautious doesn't mean you will distance yourself from people whom you don't know have cared for you ( like kana kaila nimo nga niingon layo kaau imo bhaus sa office)

[whiteKelso]

ignore lang ts...ayaw ug sakay sa storya

[quirkychinita]

hi girl..

hhmmmm trauma lang jud ka girl pero dont think lang pud nga anyone who would approach you,would hurt you..
kay wa ka kahibalo friend to nimo before ang ni approach nimo and matingala unya why you were acting weird
basin makaingon nga nausab na imong batasan.

Free your mind from thoughts regarding your past . Past is past.. You can't dwell on it. . Basing on your story, what I see is you have planted fear on yourself. I know you need to be cautious , it's understandable being cautious doesn't mean you will distance yourself from people whom you don't know have cared for you ( like kana kaila nimo nga niingon layo kaau imo bhaus sa office)

The firmer your demeanor is, the harder it is for bullies to take you lightly. just don't be abrasive.

TS, is this the same person throughout the different anecdotes?

hi! Yes. Shes the same exact person.

I just hope she has changed. She really is a nice person but she has a record of sudden rage. And im scared of rage.

[rAiNe_]

AHW HALA.. same person sila katong nangaway nimo sa school?
hmmmm.. maybe nag change na xa girl? she's a grown up woman anyway
just give her the benefit of the doubt..

[AntitaniC]

This is more paranoia than a trauma to me.... (or they're both the same in some ways) that fat friend of yours won't hurt you in front of IT park unless she is mentally ill..

[æRLO]

hi! Yes. Shes the same exact person.

I just hope she has changed. She really is a nice person but she has a record of sudden rage. And im scared of rage.

oh, I think she let bygones be bygones from what I can tell in the last part of the story. Immature lang gud siya atong higayuna nga bully siya. You can be cordial with her while being aware of her past. You can be the bigger person by just forgiving her.