Help! A Baby Stalker!

[love_stinks]

---

A college guy, 7 years younger than me, is deadly serious in his mission: making me his first girlfriend, and gosh! what a bug he's turned out to be. I politely told him I have a boyfriend (my bf is working abroad, but the child doesn't know that, i guess). He says "I don't care". I gently told him even if I'm available, I don't think I'll want him as a boyfriend not just because of the age difference but also because of the conflict of interests, besides, di ko talaga sya type, walang chemistry. Again, he says "I don't care". Then, I roughly told him he's already getting into my nerves, texting and calling me all the time, visiting me sa boarding house almost every night and even showing up in my workplace! Again, he says "I don't care", this time, it's followed by an emotional "I love you so much, I'll do anything to have you" na- na! WHAT MUST I DO WITH THIS CHILD?

[jugs_06]

first of all, a 17/18 year old guy isn't a child nor a baby, if you will..

BUT, you wouldn't want a relationship with someone this age if we're talking about being in a serious relationship.. that is, you picture yourself spending time together in the future.. chances are, this guy's a plain buff, playing around trying to get your attention so he could feed his imaginative mind.. duh?

and worse, you got a boyfriend.. he's abroad, that shouldn't be an excuse for you to even entertain this "child"..

one thing's for sure, this "child" is obsessed with you.. you must be hot.. well, i don't blame him for being obsessive.. i myself am obsessed with a woman 8 years older than me.. but she's my girlfriend, i don't stalk.. hehe.. well besides lurking through her posts that is..

[diem]

^^@jugs_06, bro I don't think you're helping solve the problem of love_stinks


@miss love_stinks, let me first say that I have some mild doubts about this current thread that you posted. This is because you had posted a thread just recently about your (in your own words) "psychologically imbalanced" boyfriend which gives me cause to wonder what happened to that particular problem.

Is he the boyfriend now staying abroad or have you found a new relationship with a new guy who is abroad?

That was pretty quick. I sort of figure you might want to take a break from relationships because it just seems to me, again basing on your posted threads past and present, that you have the mutant ability to be A BEACON that attracts men (or boys) with mental and emotional problems.

However, concerning about this issue, though I do admire persistence and perseverance in courtship, I severely detest these when it breaches personal boundaries and respect, particularly for that of the bothered party.

So I'm posting these thoughts and information not only for you, miss love_stinks, but for all persons who finds themselves in such an unfortunate and irritating situation such as this.

[1] First things first, please remain calm and confident. Something can be done with the right information and direction. Do not fall into desperation and anger because it would just make you feel helpless and look weak. You don't definitely want that. You want to present a strong, firm and unyielding resolve especially in front of this 'bully' who's pursuing you.

[2] Give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder... and when I say COLD I mean ARTIC as in the freezing desolate wide wasteland of snow and ice.

You do not respond to his calls or text. You do not to talk to him or recognize his presence if he appears to you.

You do not have to be rude, you do not have to be polite. He does not exist therefore you cannot see or detect his presence.

If he makes a fit or a scene,he is not your responsibility since you have no relationship. If anyone asks, you say "he's crazy and I do not know him."

[3] Please get yourself some protection or security. Do you not have any reliable male friends, co-workers or relatives who can be with you for company and security? Just in case this stalker might do something more pathetic, you might need witnesses.

Do you have security personnel at your workplace? Then inform the guards you do not entertain visitors particularly this one.

Are your landlady/landlord and boardmates at your boarding house aware of your problem? Could you ask assistance from them?

[4]"Obsessive" stalking is an invasion of privacy and a violation of human rights, particularly that of the affected party who is you. Therefore, it can be deemed a serious "CRIME".

If you have tried all means of reasoning with him and he truly ignores your feelings and your thoughts (THAT IS A SIGN OF HUGE DISRESPECT FOR WOMEN.. I SO DETEST THAT!!!) then tell him calmly as possible that you have no recourse but to take proper action by informing the proper authorities, his parents and family or the police.

I do not suggest you tell on his parents or relatives about his behavior.

It is because most likely he doesn't have any that took care of him and brought him up RIGHT during the formative years. This is apparent because of his present rude behavior towards you. Maybe he is seeking for love and care, and maybe he is going after you because you could be a MOTHER FIGURE for him. Hmm.

What I do suggest is you arm yourself with information of who to call and report this behavior. GO TO THE POLICE.

You could go to the police stations nearest to your boarding house and your office to file your complaint and request aid because that is what the men and women in blue are there for, the Philippine Police is here to serve and protect.

If you're too busy to go to the police station directly in person, you can call the regional Police offices at the following telephone numbers:

Danao City  (032) 200-30-05  Poblacion, Danao City

LAPU-LAPU  (032) 340-49-00 Brgy Pusok, Lapu-Lapu City
                          341-1311  

Toledo City  (032) 322-5166  Brgy Poblacion, Toledo City

Talisay City  (032) 273-36-36   Poblacion Talisay City

Cebu City  (032) 231-58-02    Camp Cabahug, Gorordo Ave, Cebu City
                        233-07-62    

Mandaue City  (032) 344-12-00  Brgy Centro, Mandaue City
                             344-63-14  

There are laws to protect women from this kind of "abuse". For further information, please refer to
http://www.pnp.gov.ph/down/content/laws/RA9262.pdf

@miss love_stinks, though I have still have my doubts to the reality of this problem of yours, I would like just to say (AND THIS GOES TO EVERY WOMAN), that though you're a woman you're still human and have rights to live well and happy and thus able to do something to keep it that way.

You do not need to make changes in your life. You do not have to change your cellphone number, your residence, your workplace just to avoid this hassle.

As you declared in your 1st post, HE IS A BABY, HE IS A BUG--- apparently being OLDER, WISER AND TOUGHER-- YOU CAN DEFINITELY CRUSH HIM!

Some people might react, IT IS EASIER THAN DONE. I say to them, BUT IT CAN BE DONE!

NO ONE NEEDS TO LIVE IN FEAR, OR IN APPREHENSION.

I sincerely wish everyone the best of luck and happiness in life! SEIZE THE DAY!

[jugs_06]

^^@sir diem: just trying to lighten up things sir.. coz from the way i've read love_stinks' post my impression of her plainly "nakukulitan lang" first came to mind.. anyway, nice advice sir i hope love_stinks consider calling those people in authority if indeed the child has a serious dangerous plan toward her..

@love_stinks i hope you could handle this well.. i'm not saying NOT to take this seriously.. a stalker IS a stalker.. like what @sir diem said, no one needs to live in fear.. who wants to be stalked.. goodluck..

[black_vixen]

@Mr. Diem
- cool one! :mrgreen:

@love_stinks
- Give him an awakening phrase "i dont like u. ur not my type, so leave! GO! and leave me, your such young and hey, ur still a fetus for me." hehehe, does it enough miss? or it make things worst. at least he'd know that your getting more irritated of his affection. why not face him and tell what's in your side.
His obsession never stop unless you're still giving him attention.
- Apply @Diem's #2 advice :
Give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder... and when I say COLD I mean ARTIC as in the freezing desolate wide wasteland of snow and ice.
I assure you that is a good action to that pathetic fetus.
hehehe

Goodluck.

[love_stinks]

Hi Diem, my boyfriend just went abroad less than a week ago, that's why I said to my post that I guess "the child" didn't know yet that my boyfriend left, and I have no plans of letting him know, but well, I know he'll notice my boyfriend's absence. Yup, the same boyfriend that I had a problem with. We talked about the problem, and we decided we needed some space, but we didn't end the relationship. Thus, he pursued his plans of staying with his realtives in Massachusetts, work awaits him there. I'm loyal to my boyfriend and I really do love him. That's why I am really bothered with this "super annoying child"..... Sorry for the confusion.

[diem]

@love_stinks, thank you very much for your clarification. I hope it works for the best for your boyfriend and you that he's working abroad. Distance and time apart may give you both proper perspective and also make the hearts fonder for each other.

Anyway, I posted all I think you could do concerning about your brat suitor. In behalf of my ***, I would to apologize for all pain and irritation that some men's misbehavior towards women. It is a fault in the men's upbringing and education.

Sincerely wishing you joy in life and love~!

[love_stinks]

Thanks for your words of wisdom... may you be able to enlighten more people in love matters, and life in general.... :mrgreen:

[n`gel]

Heh reminds me naa puy na crush naku sa amo silingan, bata pa pud pero the good thing about it is, instead nga mag stalk sya and mag threaten, he guards me instead. If he sees me maglakaw padung uli and ako ra usa, iya ko ubanan until mauli ko sa amo then that's it. Mura admiration lang gyud siguro, no attempt of courtship whatsoever, he's got his feet firmly on the ground, respect pud siya namo kay kaila sya sa amo family. Mao pa nuoy magsige evaluate kinsa'y mamisita naku, tagsa-tagsaon pa, kinsay bagay, kinsay buotan kinsay dili.

I don't know about boys getting attracted to older pretty women nga naa man unta daghang gwapa nga ila ka age range lang. I guess naa gyud siguro uban ingon ana. Naa man gani na crush naku nga 4-year old wahahaha makalingaw kaayo, basta makakita siya naku motago sa luyo sa ya mama kay mauwaw kuno naku kay crush kuno ko niya. Makalingaw kaayo.

As for you love_stinks, just slowly and nicely express your disinterest in him.... basin pud minaldiitahan pud nimo deretso rapon gani ka ana na simbako, ug dili gyud kasabot adik² na na, dili na na tarong ug pangutok, then it's time to be vigilant and call those number diem gave you.

Jugs: I know pud you're just trying to lighten up things... yaw tuo anang jugs nga na obsessed kuno... ibog lang kaayo na siya sa ya rabbit

[baby_jenie]

tsk..