My BF is a Politician - Need your Advice

[downmoment]

---

My BF is a poltician. He is someone I need not to mention because his family is well known in showbusiness and politics. U may think that I'm just one of those cheap girls who would agree to have a relationship w/ someone like him because of his money and power. But just to start off, I'm not one of those. I am an independent person. Ever since my dad died 4 years ago, I have always depended on myself for everything that I needed. Now, I have my own place in politics and aviation. I am a councilor and at the same time I am a flight attendant. Which could prove that I earn more than what I need.

We had this love affair since May 2009. From the very beginning, I never wanted anyone to know what's going on between us except for a few trusted people. That's why whenever we get together, it would be in a private place. In his house or condominium to be exact. He is the not-so-sweet but really easy-to-get-along-with type of person. That's why I fell in love with him. Despite his booming career in politics, he is a very different person behind the scenes. He's very simple to the point that you won't think that he would just love to stay at home, watch movie, eat and sleep when he doesn't have work and when his sched permits it.

I understand that his work requires a lot of his time. Which means I really don't get to see him whenever I want to because he is fully loaded with office works and activities to attend to. On special occasions, like just this christmas, my birthday (few days before xmas) and new year, we didn't get the chance to be together. We got together only a few days before my bday and after new year. Ever since, I was struggling with this kind of situation with him. Due to his lack of time with me, whenever I have problems, I can't talk it over with him because I don't want to bother him anymore. So I just keep it to myself without him knowing. Whenever we get together, it would only last for a few hours. Say 5-8hrs. So everytime I'm with him, It's quality time. I just make him feel how happy I am to be by his side and never talk about my problems or issues that don't have anything to do with either of us. On my bday, he asked someone to go over my house and sent me flowers and cash. He told me to treat my friends and colleagues with all that cash. I wanted to return it to him but I did not want to argue with him anymore so I accepted it. Honestly, I wasn't happy with my bday at all because I dont need the flowers. I dont need the money. All I want on my birthday is him. But I didn't have him on my bday. Again, because he was busy with work. He never heard anything from me. Though I was really feeling sad, all i told him was thank you again and again.

So maybe all along he thought that I was okay with that situation. Come to think of this, we get together (meaning we spend time let's say 8hrs a day) for like 2-3 times a month. Aside from that we see each other in some of his activities (not too often) but in a professional manner (we're both polticians in our place: remember no one really knows about us) so it's just casual greetings, hi and hello and a kiss on the cheek as a form of greeting whenever we see each other in events or political occasions. But the truth is, I'm just hiding what I really feel inside of me. I just feel that he is being unfair. Not giving me enough of his time. I am hurting and he doesn't even know it. Even through txt, we don't really talk that much unless he's not too busy. Casual lover's txt like i love and miss u, take care, etc. are what we exchage to each other every single day. And I just feel empty at the end of the day because I know there's something missing. I am not telling this to him because I don't want to appear "needy" to him. I want him to think that I also have my own life to be busy with and I am doing just fine about us because I don't want to bother him anymore. I am so confused. I don't know if I have to understand him again and again and just be more patient with him especially now that the election is already drawing close and he is running for re-election. Which means our time together is getting shorter and minimal because of all the busy work.

Just want you to know before I end this. I am 24yrs old and he is 39. which means he is more mature than me. but I am the one taking all the patience and understanding that he should be giving me.

Help. What should I do

I am just so confused.

[knyhll]

Falling in love is one thing...
But with a politician is another...

I believe in love.. but I believe that politics and love are one of the few things I find genuine.

In politics, USING is a word that is quite rampant. To you asking for advice? I say to you... watch television... read the newspaper.... perhaps you will get your answer there.... even Telenovelas has their own version of politics and love...

[maitoots]

i guess the plain and simple solution for this problem is talk. you say you spend quality time together, why not use one of those quality times to settle things out. lower your pride a little bit, i guess wearing your heart out on a sleeve doesnt look like we are needy to the ones we love. maybe, he is acting this way because he thinks that you are ok with this kind of situation. maybe naghulat lang pd na cya nga moreklamo ka. let's all admit it, guys are not psychics they can't tell what is on our mind.. although they can sometimes read it but most of the times we have to tell and remind them this and that.. try opening up to him about what you feel, what you want and how you want it. then listen to him.. from his reactions for sure you'll find the answers you've been looking for.

[krizanya]

maybe i should show this thread to your BF.. hahaha just kiddn.. xD
(i am not helping at all.. lol)

[knyhll]

Nice one Maitoots.. that was too kind..

You believe in the goodness of a politicians heart... Nice...

But I do wish though that the girl has the courage to face-up to a politician... bringing with her the idea that if somehow the guy doesn't like to settle for a compromise... A break-up would be a solution... unless, again, the girl is a martyr by choice...

[maitoots]

Nice one Maitoots.. that was too kind..

You believe in the goodness of a politicians heart... Nice...

But I do wish though that the girl has the courage to face-up to a politician... bringing with her the idea that if somehow the guy doesn't like to settle for a compromise... A break-up would be a solution... unless, again, the girl is a martyr by choice...

not actually for the politician but as a person lang gud. there is always goodness hidden somewhere in us somehow we have to believe, it's the only thing left there is to do...

[lemzuico]

Love Hurts, But Sometimes Its A Good Hurt...

[Hinara]

You're in love, and congratulations it seems that your partner feels the same way too, but the PROBLEM here is TIME! Hmmmm~ Time as they say is very significant. Most people if not all equate it as love "Love spells t-i-m-e" as they say/// The way I see it, you feel that dili enough yung time na gihatag sa imo bf, Hmmm, for me kasi as long as I love the person, I am willing to understand the nature of his work and anything that goes with it, but in the long run, if you feel na murag dili kamo para sa isa'g isa simply bec. wala nimo makita na maka-bana ka'g politician na kuwang jud time para nimo and your future family, lisod pero quit...Sayang man gud. ANg relasyon kasi investment...SAKIT AYU NANG MAHIGUGMA...The same thing Jesus did on that cross...

Ako, if love nako, willing ko mo sacrifice, but if dili na maayo, lisod pero pahuway ta woi, kapoy baya hilak,,,hahahah

God bless!

[PipayNove]

All you have to do is to be honest not just to yourself but to the occupied relationship.

First, you’ve mentioned that it was you who wanted to keep the relationship personal and you’re saying that “he is a sweet type of guy” yet he’s a man who’s easy-to-get-along with. Do me a favor?do an unbiased evaluation of your own statement.

Second, you’ve mentioned that you don’t want to have an argument with him especially with what happened on your birthday. Didn’t you know it’s quite unfair not telling him about your feelings at that certain thing? Let me ask you a question, who do you, expect to make clear to him that giving a material thing to someone couldn’t be a total happiness. Come on sis, all you did is just saying “thank you” and you are somewhat complaining that you weren’t happy? Do you know what the possibility is?
If the relationship will go on, expect that on your coming birthdays same scenario might happen since your boyfriend is being blinded of the “material-happiness” he probably thought you are contented. Unless you’ll tell him you aren’t.

Now, you’re jumping into a termination, realizing that you’re not satisfied with what is going on, and you know what, you are right when you stated –that maybe all he thought you re just okay with the state of affairs you both involved. Of coarse he will think of that, where would on earth he’ll get an idea of your disappointment when there’s nobody telling it to him, where even you his girlfriend can’t enlighten him. Isn’t it you who is also being unfair to him by not giving him a single idea what it is that you really wanted from him.

Considering that you’re the one who’s fully cognizant of the“missing thing” with the bond, have you ever tried to make the first move to fill it? You don’t want to be appear needy to him, yet the truth is you are really in need of something—time. Attention--. (Or what else?) Keep in mind we are all human being, we all in need of something and it’s natural. One healthy advice I want to share to you is to stop denying and hiding the truth. In your statement, you fairly consider yourself more mature than him. Then prove and stand with it by establishing a full-grown decision.

I don’t want to give a fasten verdict with the relationship, all I know is only based with what you posted. But in my just perceptive, another part I want to split is this: the initiator of the dilemma is invisible, protractor could be either you or your partner but one fine thing is that, your blunt and sincere words could possibly cut the dilemma… Clear it up and don’t be confused.


Lastly, I supposed to affirm it on my first statement but for the sake of connecting your well summarized story I made a lil peppery note. He-he
Bitaw sis you need to remember (assuming that you already aware of it) that one of the main reasons of your problem is “COMMUNICATION GAP”.

I believe you are a smart girl. Have courage to speak-out for the betterment. You pray and God will hear you.

Cheer up beautiful!

God bless

[tophat]

age is not a reliable indication of maturity, at least imho.

i noticed it is ur first post and i feel so much emotion going behind as you typed this rather long post. using different colors per paragraph is sensible on your part for it makes it easier to read than one piece of literature in one boring color. that shows maturity to me, being kind to your readers.

i wonder though how are you able to balance politics and being a flight attendant at the same time? because i was in aviation too and i have an idea how hectic that line of work is. councilors do have regular sessions to attend to, aside from that to attend to your constituents, research in order to conduct meaningful debates of issues taken up.

love is more potent than anything, even politics. i believe you have to miix and juggle both and come up with a healthy balance. in order to do that, talk is the key. ask yourselves this question, where are we leading to? your honest answer to that question will open up things, more questions and more answers. an 8 hour "quality time" may not be enough but it is more than enough to start probing the relationship.

love is life...that is what i have learned in my own experience. and life is short, but love is immortal. you decide which matters to you.