pohpay

Dear Lola,

It’s morning now, but I haven’t slept. All night, my thoughts kept circling back to the island, and even now I can’t shake it. I can almost smell the grass after rain and hear the birds calling at dawn. The air felt lighter back then, moving gently through the trees, and even the summer heat seemed like something I could live inside of. It wasn’t harsh, it was familiar.

Life was simpler. No screens glowing in every hand, no endless scrolling, no pressure to keep up with what people were showing off online. I didn’t feel surrounded by it the way I do now. Back then, I could step outside and the world was just itself: the earth, the air, the wide sky above me.

I miss the way days used to unfold slowly. Morning slipped into afternoon without a rush, and time felt softer. Evenings carried their own kind of peace, the steady hum of insects, the sound of leaves moving in the breeze, and sometimes, if the wind was right, I could hear the sea at night.

And after dinner, when the air cooled, I remember your stories. Your voice was gentle, steady, and I listened closely. Sometimes they were old tales, sometimes lessons tucked into everyday things. I didn’t always understand them fully, but I remember the comfort of your words, how they settled me, made the night feel safe.

I’ve been told the island has changed. Tourists come and go, bright lights scatter what used to be darkness, and places have been reshaped for people who will never know what it once felt like. It hurts to picture it that way, because the version I hold in my heart no longer exists.

But when I think of it, you and Lolo are always there. You made those years bearable. My childhood was not easy, but with you, I felt protected. That safety is what I ache for just as much as the island itself.

Sometimes you find your way back to me in dreams. For a moment, it feels whole again: your presence, your voice, the home I loved.
Waking is the hardest part, but I hold onto the memory anyway.

If I close my eyes right now, I’m there again, back to that place I hold so dearly. I will live the rest of my life carrying those memories and carrying the love you gave me. That is my home, no matter how far away I am.

And wherever you are now, I hope you are at peace, the same way you once made my world peaceful when I was with you. Being with you and Lolo was the only time my heart felt at rest. You were my safe place in a world that was not always kind. I think of you always. Please don’t worry about me, rest easy, knowing your love still lives in me.

Missing you,
pohpay