All fairytale starts with ONCE UPON A TIME…so here it is
Once upon a time, I came to exist in his place. Pure intention is to do what is expected of me to do. It was never my intention to be his friend, nor to be someone close to him.
One day we found ourselves solving one test of our professional life.. We went through the challenge together, hand-in-hand, solving it together.
Puff!! We found ourselves liking each other for no apparent reason.
Well, we didn’t admit it at first. We simply find it amusing/ entertaining…secretly admiring each other.
We had exchange of professional calls and texts. And one time, I remember, we had this one phone call that after discussing serious things we paused for few seconds, chuckled and obviously, was looking for that one topic to talk about for us not to end our conversation. It was like that kind of feeling a teenager gets when wanting to talk to a crush for a long hours. So our conversation went on and on…
We knew all along that that we have that certain unexplainable, mutual feeling. The thing is, he is committed forever. Then one day, he proposed something to me, something very risky for him and for me. It wasn’t easy to offer such for one wrong move, he’ll be ****ed up. But then I took it lightly and refused politely.
So we settle with friendship, but a kind of friendship with something extraordinary in it. As per his words, “what we have is not something ordinary. One of a kind it is.”
We had our own endearment; mind you it was he who initiated it. He calls and texts almost every day. And what I love most was his daily morning greeting that made my day complete.
Our first intimacy happened when he escorted me to my date; take note “my date”. While waiting for my friend at the parking lot, he kissed me. I was surprised and couldn’t get over with the feeling in a snap. It wasn’t my first but definitely the best. To simply put, it felt like my first time.
Our friendship comes with holding hands, eating together, sharing not just secrets but personal necessities. We stroll, crack jokes, and laugh at each other or even together at some crazy things. Get angry, upset, had tantrums. Apologies and makes up. We had each other’s back, through thick and thin. Yes, our very own love-hate relationship.
CRAZY, that is how we define us.
With all these things and being our very own little secret. We never forget the sad reality, that even after all those experiences and memories we had together, we need to come to its end. Remember, even the good old love stories have endings, a happy ever after or a tragic one. As to ours, it ain’t a happy nor a sad one. It is just an ending we knew all along.
I remember me saying, “It is not a question of me not liking you, it’s what I get from it. Why would I risk for something I know I have no chance of winning? A game I will surely lose.”
Despite of it, I am glad that it happened--- he happened. And I wasn’t able to tell him how important he is to me, how much affection I have for him, which I think he knew already…
As of this writing, we no longer communicate with each other.—nor seeing each other. –-- I avoided being friends with him on any social networking sites. But eventually, we will be seeing each other some other time, will have some cups of coffee (we are coffee addicts) and laugh at what we had experienced.
A special friend I know I will never ever call as my own, but will remain forever not in my heart but in my mind with all those memories we had.
P.S. I know having that thing with him is wrong, I am not saying I am proud, but it is one of the choices I cannot and would not regret.
Being his very own little secret
Originally Posted by kageron
Reply With Quote
Posting Permissions
