kwarta ug uyab

[|ceman]

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Hi All,

Just wanted to post this case my friend is currently in.

So I have a friend who is in love with his gf, he’s serious about her and is really considering her to be the one. One day, the gf is crying and she confided to him that she is in a situation. She is the bread winner of the family, she’s living in North America, her younger sister, a year younger than her earns a meager salary in Middle east and their youngest just took the board and is now on stand by. My friend noticed that she’s been very generous to her family, in a way that she doesn’t want to spend things that important to her that affects her health and all. But she always sends money to her mom and sometimes to her sis and she always gives in to what they ask like a new iphone, sunglasses etc., prioritizing these, that my friend thinks are less important than what she should be spending for herself. It seems that she doesn’t have savings on her own because she’s been sending them all. She’s in her early 30’s by the way. She’s been helping them since she started work on early 20’s. Suddenly, my friend got the confirmation recently when she was telling him that she’s having a hard time catching up with her family’s demand. When she’s telling her mom about saving the money for time of needs or if her mom ask for extra (all the time) and she’s telling her to tone down on it, she’ll be told that if you don’t want to provide then don’t give at all. To makes things worst, her family has been spending to unnecessary things like new tires bec the old one has a little rust or getting postpaid plans for her brother who is not yet working etc. When my friend gave her a hard advise of save for yourself bec. You’ll need it or her family someday, or save for her family instead of giving in to their demand, she said she can’t say no to her family bec. Of their reaction. To top that, the mother will tell his gf that maybe the bf is influencing her to keep the money from them which I don’t think is the case. The BF and the mother are in good terms though.

Now my friend is also worried, because he values saving money, it gave him the confidence to go to unchartered territories or living life as it is. For him, setting aside savings first and expenses thereafter works well for him. He’s worried that if they get together someday, things will not change for her, and it will be a burden for both of them. With today’s times, it’s hard to live a decent life with only one contributing to the family’s expense. He loves her very much, but there are things that he needs to consider too, the reason why he’s doing really well is because of his value for savings. What do you think guys?

Forgot to add this detail: her family gets pension from her dad (who already passed away) and other income for about 15 to 20K a month without her sending (so if you add what she's sending it will be about double the amount), which her bf think is good enough to live a humble life.

[mudskipper77]

I for one is an OFW but i don't spoil my family with unnecessary things...naa rana sa "gf sa imong friend" ts...

[jednified]

Sometimes we have to take one for the team. If I were in your friend's case, I'd do whatever it takes to help her. Bahala na if malain ang iyang mama. For the better good man, they'll soon realize na sakto ang pagtabang sa gurl na maka save when something happens, good or bad. Ayaw nlng dyod na dugay, dugayi. Save now then regret later. What if something will happen but walay mabuhat kay walay natigom? Better safe than sorry.

[mybuuz]

dali kaayo iwaldas ang kwarta kung dili ikaw naghago. sayop sa babae kay wala niya gi-value iyang hard earned money.
ang family mo-standby na nimo, makasabot rana sila kung hugot gyud ang decision sa babae. let them learn their lesson.

[mudskipper77]

She needs to learn to say "No" and "enough"...it's for her own good.

[|ceman]

thanks for the reply guys, my friend has been advising her that but she doesn't seem to have the guts to take the hard decision or she just wanted to give her family as much as she can, this affects my friend as well kay all the time xa na bya mu gasto sa tanang date (thou this is being gentleman and he doesn't mind) but his fears is, what if na married na sila and in.ani gihapon?

[mudskipper77]

bro, there is a line between taking care of the family and spoiling them..

[havaianatic01]

ingun anah jud gihapon ang mahitabo bai basta dili maghinay2 og laylo ang gf sa imuha friend. dugaya naman diay nya didtu USA taz wala ghapon savings? ako nia sab ko gawas and ngsuporta sakoa pag umangkon pero akoa jud gibana2 na enough ra sab iyaha ang gasto, kasab an jud nko kung modemand unya walay pulos ra.sus dghan jud gatuo nga gipamunit ra ang sapi basta abroad na. dapat balansehon sab unta sa girl ang sitwasyon labi na ky 30 na xa.

[ad_dur]

dili na blema sa babae oi ... voluntary nalang na ang paghatag sa pamilya .. once ma minyo na ang tawo ang iya priority na is iya jud pamilya ...

[AntitaniC]

If she can't afford luxury... then she shouldn't be pretending so.

If the girl still won't listen to him, then the guy needs to support and accept that fact if he really love her.
In the long run, when the girl soon give birth to a baby, she will at least think less about her mom and siblings and start to realize she needs to save for her baby.

I've seen it many times....