THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ABC INTERNET EXPLORER ---- toink
hello maam, are you there ? response : yes im there
---------------
o naa pa, magsawa ka hehe
It was Halloween. an agent felt like being nice to
his customers so he planned to say, "Have a
Happy Halloween" as part of his closing spiel.
CSR: is there anything else that I can help you
with today?
cust: no
me: ok, thank you for calling ****. Haba
Halloween. (yeah... a very long Halloween
indeed.hahahha)
isa pa, narinig ko naman na ginawa daw ng isang
agent sa CS account ng c-cubed.
*monitored by QC
cust: and where are you located?
agent: were located in Manila, Pelepens!
(tumbling si QC at binalik sa training ang agent.
hahaha)
************************************************** *********
et0 pa additi0naL bL0opers:
actuaL c0nversati0n sa isang technicaL acc0unt
sa C-Cubed (Cust0mer C0ntact
Center) habang nakabarge sa bidang agent na it0
yung seni0r rep ng team niLa:
Filipin0 CUST: darLing are y0u a fiLipin0? (tagaL0g
na tagaL0g yung accent)
TSR: n0 ma'am I'm an american.(with c0nvicti0n
per0 tagaL0g na tagaL0g din yung accent!)
FiLipino CUST: are y0u sure ih0?
TSR: yes ma'am.
FiLipin0 CUST: sigurad0 ka?
TSR: yes ma'am.
(eh kaLa k0 ba kan0 ka?... )
************************************************** *********************************
gant0 maghandLe ng caLLs pag hindi nakapag red
buLL tap0s waLa pang tuL0g...
muLa rin siLa sa C-Cubed!
ring... ring... (bag0ng pas0k na caLL)
TSR: thank y0u f0r h0Lding...
(aba ayuz yung 0pening spieL m0... pasad0 sa QA
yan!)
TSR: (kakagising Lang muLa sa maikLing
pagkakaidLip habang
nagt0tr0ubLesh0ot ng isang sikat na brand ng
TV) ..0kay sir the next thing
that y0u have t0 d0 is t0 wash the vegetabLes...
(nyek! c0oking sh0w ba yung paLabas sa TV iha?)
************************************************** *************************************
ganit0 ang takb0 ng c0nversati0n kapag ang
kausap m0 eh hindi marun0ng umintindi ng
engLish...
sa TeLetech:
TSR: 0kay sir, Let's check if y0u wiLL be abLe t0
g0 0nLine n0w...
CUST: yes... (yes Lang ng yes kase et0ng
HAPON na it0... )
TSR: type in $&
CUST: what? yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... yahoo.com...
CUST: yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... com... C-O-M
CUST: cot?
TSR: (asar na) .com sir!
CUST: aahhh... yahoo.cot.
(may cot na paLang d0main... ganun ba sa Japan?
gaLing!)
sa TeLetech uLe:
bag0ng Labas Lang sa sine ng I-R0b0t... kakasine
Lang ata ng TSR na it0...
TSR: 0kay that's I as in R0b0t!
CUST: what?
(ayuz sa ph0netics ha... )
mga CMD bL0opers sa Link2Supp0rt
TSR: It's C as in CAT.
CUST: what?
TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T... me0w me0w...
(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa
magets...)
0 et0 pang versi0n B muLa sa team mate niya rin:
TSR: It's C as in CharLie... M as in Mary... and D
as in Dog
CUST: Did y0u say B as in B0y?
TSR: No sir, it's D as in Dog... arf arf...
(ayuz! gaLing ata sa z0o et0ng daLawang t0!)
TSR: It's CMD... Cust0mer Must Die...
CUST: (dead air)
(naghang-up na paLa... natak0t baka mamatay... )
TSR: It's CMD... read my Lips....
(sige nga patingin baka mabasa k0 sa phone...
hehe... )
syempre hindi pahuhuLi ang mga agents sa
SYKES!
TSR: (sLeEpy m0de din... at kakagising din muLa
sa maikLing pagkakatuL0g habang
nagt0tr0ubLesh0ot) Okay n0w g0 t0 the b0tique...
(sL0wLy niya pang sinabi yun)
(aba sister, ang aLam k0 tech dispatch Lang ang
pede...)
TSR: (sLeEpy m0de take 4!) It's capitaL F as
Mary...
CUST: okay and then what?
(eh baka ang gust0 m0ng sabihin eh Fairy?)
TSR: ch0ong ch0ong ch0ong... ch0o ch0o
ch0ooooong...
CUST: what? (pare mag mute ka naman...
haLatang nagLaLaro habang nagt0tr0ubLesh0ot eh)
habang may caLL et0ng agent na it0 eh bigLang
may mga dumaan na
nagkwekwentuhan ng maLakas in TagaL0g...
CUST: wh0 are th0se pe0pLe? Are y0u in India?
TSR: N0... y0u're in PhiLippines..
(teka naLit0 ak0... sin0 bang nasa PhiLippines?
yung caLLer 0 yung agent?
Nasan ba ak0 ateh? )
CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how
may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(oohhh... now I get it!!!)
CS: Was that a "B" as in boy or a "B" as in bravo?
Cust: Uhhmmm... how about
CS: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as
in golf? Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was
a "G" as in GEBRA! (z as in zebra) (Oh, Gebra!!!
like the one in the Goo?!!!... Gusme... Gon't gou
get git?) CS: Yeah, sir... sir... are you there? Cust:
Yes, yes, I'm there! (siguro naglalaro sila ng
Counter...)
Outbound call...
CS: Can u tell ur
Mom, to contact us...she may DIAL
$&... (ah... ok!!!)
CS: ... So that's I
as in I... (... O as in Oh, & U as in You...)
CS: Sir, do you have NET-ESCAPE there?
Cust: Huh?...
Oh!!!.. No, I have MSN IN-NERNET EXPLODER
here...
CS: Would you like to set your own password or would you like me to give you a
generic password?
Cust: Uhmm.. just give me a generic one...
CS: Alright.. I have reset your password. Your new password will be... let me
spell it out for you... That's K as in Kilo... A as in
Apple... M as in Mama... O as in October... T as in
tango... and E as in Echo...
Cust: "Kamowt?" (American accent e)... That's a cool password!!! I'll
never forget this!!! All right!!!Everything is working!!!...
CS: Can you spell out your name,
please?
Cust: Yes, my name is Cathy... that's C
as in Kite (chiguro, kilala nya ung koshchumer ng
mahilig cha Gebra?!)
TS: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Cust: What?!!\
TS: Oh, Im sorry, sir... Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?... (klap! klap! klap!)
TS: Mam, please look at the back of your modem and check if you have the ethernet cord connected
...
Cust: Tha Hwhut
(with alabama accent)
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...(sige tagalog pah)
TS: Ok, let me help you... Please click on 'start' and 'run'...
Cust: Huh? Why do I have to run
... (dapat talaga
yung Start button me 2 options muna e... 1: I know
how to use a computer, yung 2: I don't know how I
got here/what I'm doing... hehehe!!!)
TS: Now, I want you to CLICK the space bar please... (... 1 or
2 clicks
left or right
)
CS: ...That's E as in I-KOW... (echo) (oki lang yan, Dong...)
CS: Come again, sir?!!!
Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!
TS: Ok, sir, this is ano... what you'll do... you have to type the
ano... the command run and ano... (tagalog pah!!!)
Cust: So, do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
CS: Sir, the package has been delivered and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP
schedule... (... I can PEEL it!!!)
Outbound/Tele...
CS: ...May I please speak with Mr. Mike Jones?
Contact: Oh, he's deceased!!!...
CS: Should I just call back for him then
(...sure, as soon as he
comes out of the ground and reports back to
work...)
CS: I was hoping you can take this survey with me... Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes.... (ay shyet!!!)
CS: ...I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please
Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CS: Sure, SIGE... (ay shyet, ulet!!!)
local client kaya mostly
pinoy and callers, usually from visayas...
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin
...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust:Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: ..Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!! (hende kase nagve-verefie mabote...
tsk, tsk, tsk...)
TS: Ok, sir... Could you please
drag the icon UPSTAIRS?...(huwat
)
Cust (US): So how's the weather there?
CS: Well... it's kinda cloudy today, sir...
Cust: Oh really?!!!... So where are you located?
CS: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!... (... dats nir Mexico...)
TS:May I have your service tag pls? (it's like aserial/case # for an appliance)
Cust: Where is the service tag located?
TS: Ma'am, the service tag is located inRoundrock, Texas...
(WHOA!!!)
Outbound ulet...
CS: ...I'm looking for Mr. John Brown
...
Contact: Uh... he's not here...
CS: Oh... HE'S NOT HERE?...
(ay shyet pa rin ba to
)
Silent/Dead Air Call...
CS: ... If you are trying to speak to me, I cannot seem hear your voice.
Please call us back again and I would have to
HANG YOU UP...
(aaaaarrrrkkkk!!!...)
TS: Alright, we're going to perform a checkdisk...that is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it... please type in
C-H-K-D-S-K...
Cust: What is that again?
TS: C-H-K-D-S-K... that is... C as in Charlie... H as
in Harley... K as in Karly... D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K asin Karly...
(gleng-gleng... bagong version...)
Customer is waiting and on hold when suddenly...
CS: Thank you for waiting! My name is *****!!!...
Is that correct
(KEREK!!!)
Outbound
kolcenter
(CSR - Customer Service Representative)
1. CSR: Do you have any child so we could send out these gifts to you?
CLIENT: I'm sorry but i don't have any child.
CSR:Oh i understand, whatabout any grandchild? (wala ngang anak di ba,
asa ka pang may apo)
2. CSR: . . . and for our records, may i know yourchild's bday?
CLIENT: Idon't know her bday. .
CSR: Oh come on, it's yourresponsibility to know your child's bday. (tarayan ba ang customer?)
3. CLIENT: (mad) how many times do i have to tell you i didn't purchase anycard!
CSR: Ma'am, i'm talking about a 'car', a toycar, not a card.
CLIENT:but i said i didn't purchase any card!
CSR:No ma'am, not a card, what I mean is a car, an automotive. (baka ibig mongsabihin automobile)
4. a. CLIENT: What is that space bag bulk storagesystem? (By the way, aspace bag is a big bag, not sure if it's made of plastic, which size adjusts depending on the amount of air you vacuum out)
CSR: (with limited product knowledge) Well sir, it's some kind of a space bag,
it's like a storagesystem where you put your things. (salamat saexplanation)
b. CLIENT: What is this space bag?
CSR: (bastamay masabi lang) ah sir, it'sthe thing worn by astronauts. (kakaiba tong taong to)
c. CSR: We are giving you a free gift. You can either have the space bugbulk storage system or . .
CLIENT: What the hellis a space bug? (a single letter spelled the big difference)
5 CLIENT: What is this squeeze wrench?
CSR: It's a wrench that you squeeze for better grip. (huh?)
6. CLIENT: I won't allow you telemarketers to foolme. Nothing in this world is for free. Now tell me the catch!
CSR : (medyonapikon at umisip ng pambawi) Ah sir, have you ever listened to the Beatles?
CLIENT: Well what about it?
CSR: What does their song say about the best things in life?
CLIENT: It's free.... but you know what ...
CSR
bangs the phone before the client could start with his stuff. (YIKES)
7. CSR: One last thing sir, may i have your city of
birth? CLIENT: What?
CSR: Your city of birth? CLIENT: What? i can't
quite hear you. CSR: (irita
na) I said your city of birth, the place of your born!
(nagalit pa)
8. In the initial calling days, we were encouraged to go verbatim as little
as possible. Stick to the script! Seems like a good practice right?
(except for some special incidents).
CSR: So how is your car wash gadget?
CLIENT: It was a piece of junk! (irate)
CSR: Oh that's nice to hear from you, sir! (at least nag-stick sa script )
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